piano

so when I finally sat down to play it for the first time I felt like I was dreaming...I thought to myself, "is this for real?"

I am not sure really how to describe the feeling I get when it comes to pianos. I feel like I am home whenever I sit at a piano...and now I have a piano in my home!! piano piano I have a piano!!!

I have always been in Joette's shadow when it comes to playing the piano. She is an incredible player with talent going all over the place. Maybe I like it better this way- because for me piano playing is the most meaningful for me when I am alone- with no audience. I have many memories of going into large empty chapels and playing and feeling almost magical and carried away from the world's worries...and of course my imagination goes wild- those who are close to me know about this weird side to me- but I like to imagine my music as a soundtrack to some movie...or that I am Sarah Mclachlan...I know it is silly but oh how fun it is...

So we have a piano now. Thank you Keith and Calie for the most wonderful gift ever! There is nothing better than doing the dishes and hearing Chay play...well maybe him helping me with the dishes is almost better...no but Chay is really good at the piano and so it is just lovely. I feel so blessed!

ok so let me tell you the miracle of this all...for about 3 years now I have been slowly saving for a piano. You see, Chay hates change in his pockets so every day he would empty out his change on the dresser. I told him I am going to get rich off his quarters and nickles...so I would collect his change and then add a little money here and there in this can. Well my mom told me I could have this piano for free but I had to figure out how to get it down to Utah- so I counted up my change and I had $223. Well gas driving up to Spokane and back while splitting with Steve was about $120 and then to get it tuned and buy some stain was about $100. Isn't that crazy??? Perfect!

Here is what the piano looked like before I stained it:


Chay and I rubbed out the big scratches with stain and now it is quite the pretty piano for the price. It has a few little problems- but I'm not complaining.



Here I am staining the piano...so do you think Chay was really taking a picture of just the piano?????I don't think so.

easter2

so since Grandma doesn't live close by I figure I better post this picture of her grand girls all cute and ready for Easter Sunday in their dresses she bought them! Thanks Mom!





Easter was great...Saturday we went to the city easter egg hunt- We live in a relatively small city...so I wasn't expecting this Easter egg hunt to be anything spectacular...and it wasn't but Kenzie sure thought it was interesting. She had no clue what was going on and just stared at all these plastic eggs all over the grass...when they blew the whistle for the kids to start collecting eggs- I became instantly competitive and almost demanded that Kenzie get all the eggs she could or else....



So I relaxed a little and it turned out to be fun...but the Easter budget in our city must be on the low end because after all the eggs had been hunted, some man over the loud speaker reminded us to take the candy and return the eggs! What? oh well- it was a great 5 minute adventure for Kenzie- I'm thankful to be apart of this whole "give your child the experience" type stuff- I mean we go to Story Time at the library, go to easter egg hunts, parades... anything to see your child smile.




My girls have been asleep for 2 hours...I am LOVING THIS!!!!!

Well Easter Morning we had brunch at Tara and Niels' and then after church we were fed again! Aunt Linda fed us an amazing dinner with all the fixings! We helped her stuff phone books into plastic bags (a side job she regrets ever getting) and so that was it... I have made a little promise to myself to make Easter more special for me and my family. It will with time- it is a beautiful holiday....

20 march 2008

ok well let's write about Chay's birthday...so I'm a little late but who really cares...there is no due date in blogging...no time table, schedules to be met...the joys of blogging and the joys of my loving readers...

so we had fun...and we ate a cow. Let me explain. So first of all I decided to resurface some of those sweet anxious elementary school day feelings when you so patiently await at school for those promised cupcakes from mommy on your birthday- you know the feeling- So I made brownie cupcakes for Chay and his co-workers. I did not however bring hats but I did surprise him by driving into his work...and this alone is quite the symbol of my love for Chay- dragging Kenzie across downtown traffic, shoe getting caught in escalator, balancing cupcakes on the stroller with one hand...



Chay works with the nicest people...I mean most people are nice to me when I greet them with a pan of brownies but whatever the reason, I felt welcomed and had a great time once again seeing where Chay dwells the other half of his life...After some great and even greater conversations, Chay and I and the girls headed to Tara and Niels' house - our lifesaving babysitters (they made the night possible)- and with a quick thank you to them we headed out to the door to the Braza Grille...and this is where we ate a cow...let me explain. This is one restaurant where all meat lovers must gather to. Brazilian food at it's best, buffet, atmosphere, Portuguese being spoken everywhere, Chay and I kidless and enjoying every minute of it. -- We had so much fun stuffing our faces with their cheese bread balls "Pao de Quiejo", beans and rice and then of course servers came around every 3-4 minutes slicing off big pieces of steak in all its varieties, and chicken and pork of course. I couldn't believe how much meat I was eating- I know there was some major breaking the word of wisdom in all this eating, especially all that red meat- hello all things in moderation??? - but Chay and I just kept justifying it because we served our missions in Brasil and we had to use up that pricey meal ticket... all you buffet all you can eaters out there know exactly what I mean- I have been to Golden Corral with most of you...

So after dinner we talked to a Portuguese girl for an hour or so and then headed back to get the girls. Tara and Niels surprised Chay with a cake and Laser Quest guns. You should have seen Chay's eyes when he saw his new laser guns...you could see the once little boy in Chay coming right through...Chay and Niels ran around the house shooting each other. (oh side note- I was watching American Idol tonight and I noticed Chay's guns were sitting next to the TV. Well on the commercial break I decided to flip over to HGTV to see what was on and then all of the sudden I hear the "bang shew shew" of the guns. I flip back to American Idol and I noticed the gun gear that goes around your chest was going off like it had been hit "bang shew shew" it was so funny- so the remote control works on the same frequency as the laser guns...who knew? I was laughing so hard...can't wait to shoot Chay with the remote control instead of the gun)

I bought Chay a DVD -6th season of Scrubs....that show is really random- and I mostly love watching Chay watching it.

ok so there you go- Chay's birthday!

one year anniversary

One year ago I lost my beautiful wedding ring...it wasn't terribly expensive just very unique and lovely. I miss it mostly when I get dressed up for church or go out with Chay...but it is getting better with time...I still feel sick about it but I remind myself it isn't a determining factor on my relationship with Chay or our commitment with each other- I can be equally happy without it- but oh how vain I can get sometimes...I even bought the ring 6 months ago and financed it...then with guilt I returned it. So let's just all take a quick look at it...and mourn with me for a second or so....ok thanks...your pity helped a little.

easter

HERE is a video to share with your family on Easter. Scroll down a little and click on "The Bread of Life"

birthday boy

Chay- when he was a little guy!




ok do you even understand how lucky I am to be married to Chay Porter Clark?

so today is his birthday...twenty seven still looks like heaven

I am so in love with Chay. He just inspires me all the time to be a better me. He is so understanding, a wonderful friend, concerned, funny, soft, gentle, tough, manly, fun to be with...

Last night we read his best friend's blog and this tribute to Chay is a must read must see...click here to see what Chay is all about in the eye's of his friends.

I have never met anyone so committed as Chay. He is such a family man and would do anything to make his girls happy.


I love the way he thinks. He is so incredibly funny. I feel like I am in a forever running no commercial sit-com when I am with Chay.

When I first met Chay my eyes were shut so to speak...I didn't like him romantically because he was too nice. I know- it doesn't make sense- But I was so used to the big and cool guys out there who were a challenge to conquer that I just didn't understand Chay's nice and easy going ways. I could spend hours and hours with him and never feel intimidated, out of place, worried about my hair or what I was wearing- or anything. He was such a new concept for me that it took a long time for me to open my eyes and say "hello??? this guy is perfect for me! This guy can handle all my weirdness. He will not judge me. He will always be obedient to the commandments. He will allow me to be me in everyway" This is so true. Chay can be with anyone and see their uniqueness and cherish the person. It is such an amazing quality.



I love it when Chay is home. I wait all day for him to come home. There is just something so warming and peaceful when he is home. I just can't wait to hear what will come out of his mouth...he is pure entertainment.

ok well Happy Birthday Chay. I love you. Can't wait to celebrate your birthday?????

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I love how bubbleshare makes pictures so big- look at little julia! She is all smiles now and I am loving it!

Kenzie threw-up all day. She has only been sick a few times and so it is so hard for me to see her lethargic, pale, unexpressive...

Finally after three episodes of puke going all over the floor and bed I decided not to leave her side for the rest of the day- this way I could run her to the toilet in time and save a big mess. I am so glad I was with her today. She was so weak. She held on to me tight and kept saying "night night" Now when do you ever hear a toddler wanting to go night night?

It was a very tender day. I would rub her head as she drifted off to sleep- only to be awoken a short minute later with stomach pains and a rush to the bathroom. She spent the day in our bed. We looked at pictures and sang songs...and even though there were a million things to do- everything stopped for Mckenzie and it was ok. I was grateful to not have any other responsibilities or places to be. I felt like I was doing the most powerful most productive thing in the world today and I didn't even have to get out my pajamas to do it! Today I loved being a mom.

fort

so Daddy built a fort for Kenzie...

What is it about getting into a tent or going inside a fort made of blankets that gets us all...excited and stuff?

uncle bryon

so here is another memorable moment from our trip...there is such a pure sweet tender side to big tough Bryon.

sunday

I really love our ward.

I did sharing time yesterday and I think I'd rather teach Gospel Doctrine. I cried afterwards because I felt like I did a horrible job. I was a little scatter-brained and I took too much time. I relaxed a little after thinking about how silly I must sound to be taking sharing time too seriously- kids don't care. They are so eager to learn.- I just wish the stake primary presidency didn't decide to come that day.

phone death

I didn't know how to process my thoughts when I saw my phone sitting in a cup of milk. Kenzie looked at me like she was proud of herself- and I gave her quite the opposite look. So off to the naughty rug she went and off to find a little screwdriver I went- but to all our attempts of rescuing it by cleaning and drying- my little phone died- drowned- by milk and foul toddler play.

I mourned my mournings today as I realized that my phone had priceless video clips and pictures from when Kenzie was a baby. There was one video with Kenzie and I together and she is just giggling and giggling. I used to play it all the time...oh how sad.

So email me all your phone numbers please!!! Time to update my new phone!!! Tara made the recovery smooth by lending me her blackberry! Thank you Tara! So if you have tried to call me these past two days sorry- but my phone number should be working again!

um...are we bad parents if we tell Kenzie: "It is time to stop praying please and eat before your food gets cold"? Now that she is getting this whole prayer thing down- she won't stop. It is sweet and humbling. It tugs on the emotion strings and all that neat stuff- but when she screams her head off when I try to say amen or if I open my eyes...I feel we are coming upon a little problem. She will ramble on forever about grandma, ju ju, Isaac, boats, trains, popcorn, daddy, mommy, church, rocks and then repeat herself a million times. Sometimes I hear a Jesus and an Amen in there somewhere- in her cute little gibberish- but she isn't closing her prayer by any means- she is far from done... oh what to do? Oh what to do?...it's funny I know-

multiple sclerosis

I will not let this get me down....

So I have Multiple Sclerosis. It sounds like some horror movie monster with 20 eyes...don't you think? I was diagnosed 2 1/2 years ago. I was completely devastated with the news and cried for a month straight. I felt so sorry for myself...I prayed constantly for strength. When my symptoms were starting to go back to normal I found out I was pregnant with Mckenzie. I remember I was in the bathroom with the pregnancy test in my hand. The second red line was slowly appearing on the test and my eyes filled up with tears knowing that Heavenly Father was not going to give up on me or my purpose here on earth and either should I.

Since then I have had 2 more burdening flare-ups. One when Kenzie was 6 months old and now when Julia is 6 months old. I am not strong right now like I want to be. I know what I am supposed to think, I know what kind of faith I am supposed to have. I have all the right answers but really I just want to hug someone and cry myself to sleep. Tonight I did a dreadful thing. I googled multiple sclerosis and was slapped in the face with all the scary definitions, symptoms, facts on the severity of the disease as time goes by...I read the symptoms and found myself nodding as I have experienced 95% of them. One of them that brought tears to my eyes was the cognitive failure over the years...memory loss, hard time finding words (word on the tip of the tongue), hard time reasoning and prioritizing. I laughed a little because today I wanted to leave the house by 3. I had to throw dinner in the crock-pot, get dressed, and get the girls ready and I couldn't figure out what to do first. I finally put chicken in the crock-pot while still in my underwear...and I said to myself, "April, what are you doing?-go get your clothes on" sounds funny but after reading about MS tonight it makes me so sad...don't mess with my brain- I can deal with being numb all over and being dizzy, tingly pins and needles- but not my brain- I like my brain-...

The chances of me actually posting this are pretty rare...but I guess my readers are family and friends anyway and it's not like I haven't complained on my blog before- I can share my feelings so much better in words than I can in person- Sometimes I get so tongue tied and sloppy with my choice of words that I don't even make sense when I am in front of people ...however certain people instill a kind of confidence in me where I feel very articulate and capable...that is pretty normal right?... do you feel that way too?

So what route do I take? There are medications I could take. They have been on the market for a short time so the studies aren't promising. They all claim to slow down the degeneration and hardening of the myelen sheaths surrounding my nerves but I just feel icky inside when I think about taking medication...they aren't safe for pregnancy- well they are sort of safe- but not by my standards- you can't even get me to take a Tylenol when I'm pregnant. What do you think I should do?

There are 2 ladies in Spokane who were diagnosed with MS around the same time. This was about 25 years ago when they were diagnosed. One decided to go the medical route and take the medication. She uses arm braces to walk, she's overweight, and was eating a chocolate brownie when I talked to her last. She told me with tears in her eyes that if it wasn't for prayer she would have given up many years ago. I wasn't sure what that meant but when I asked her if she ever tried bettering her condition through diet and alternative methods she quickly stated, "diet really didn't make a difference when I tried" ironically I remember at that moment a part of her brownie falling to the floor and asking her husband to help her pick it up.

The other lady decided to live her life differently. She went on a special diet, exercised, did acupuncture for the pain, herbs, detox, did not take any medications- she is currently serving a mission with her husband in London, continues to compose music for the church...I have talked to her several times about her theories and she testified how she could feel Heavenly Father directing her to see certain specialists and doctors...
who knows- all I know is she didn't resort to an expected life-style but did all she could to be healthy- she didn't take the medication which is interesting...I don't know-

well I feel better now that I wrote about how I feel...don't worry about me- it's April. I am fine. Heavenly Father is mindful of me. In actuality MS is a gift. I turn quickly to Heavenly Father in prayer and fasting because of it. I begin to study, search, and reflect more- I call on Chay's priesthood more often- so it's a gift- good night

tagged

5 things on my to-do list:

1- mail off some packages and letters- today
2-start the dreadful ms diet-any day now
3-clean up and organize my laundry storage room-Saturday
4- write an entry on my blog (I'm actually doing it!)- today
5- learn a song on my harmonica- someday

5 snacks I enjoy:

1. peas & carrots with salted sunflower seeds
2. toast and butter- I have an unhealthy relationship with this snack
3. fresh pears
4. guacamole and chips
5. banana and chocolate are just perfect together- but I think I will have to put this snack on hold for a while.

What would I do if I were suddenly made a billionaire: I would scream!!!!!

that is a big tithing check! oh save it and invest it of course for future things, get prepared, buy a piano, a nice camera, my wedding ring- sell the house and move away from this chaos! I want a big back yard too. Get Chay into his master's program, pay off our car and student loan, secretly send money or buy needed things for people in need- that would be so much fun, buy really expensive skin care- buy a home to flip- start a business-


7 places I have lived:

1. Newman Lake, Washington
2. Rexburg, Idaho
3. Brazil
4. Ewing, New Jersey
5. Willsonville, Oregon
6. Burley, Idaho
7. Utah

5 jobs I have had: I've had at least 12 jobs or more- so I won't list them all...

1. Deli and Cashier at Dean's market
2. Pizza Driver- River City Pizza
3. Subway- yum- good smell at that place
4. Loan processor-Family Home Mortgage
5. Academic adviser BYU-I


5 things you don't know about me:

1. I would love to design functional house plans...or parks, libraries- or theme parks
2. I want to write a book someday- about what I'm not sure...
3. I shave my legs probably 6 times a year...don't have much hair and it is blond...
4. I love to sing- but I think I am losing my voice...I need to practice- Joette?? I need your piano skills!
5. I love paper- certain types of stationary- in fact I am looking for stationary that I have designed in my head but can't find it in any of the stores- I love unique journals and the look of books. I love maps too-