on the route

ok what do you know, Chay is a better paperboy than I am a paper girl.

He can get both routes done in 1 hour. I secretly try to beat his time every morning but I have only come close by 10 minutes or so. I do dink (or is it) tink around too much and sometimes I sit in my car and wait for a commercial break if I am listening to Talk Radio. I love talk radio.

On Sundays we go together- all 4 of us. The papers are too heavy and would take 1 person 3 hours and so Chay drives and I walk...and we are always in a bad mood when we start and we are almost always in a good mood when we finnish. We let Kenzie deliver a paper on the porch of the last house. She gets so excited and proud. If she only knew how uncool it really is to have a paper route- actually it isn't uncool- it has been a blessing to be honest. I love all the thinking I get done in the morning-

So what would the paperboy nickname your house if you knew...he was nick naming your house-

Chay and I are more visual than numerical when it comes to memorizing the houses on our route. You give us a number of a house and we have to refer to the map almost always. But if you say something like, "the house that still has it's Halloween decorations up with that black goblin ghost thingy whose head is falling off" we instantly know what house we are talking about.

The homes on our route:

The Tea Party House -these people have 2-3 cute tables set up with chairs always in their front yard- like they have daily tea parties or something- when Chay is tired he calls this house the "Tea Cup" house- whatever

The Obama House- they have a "Obama for President" sign in their front yard that is practically the same size of their home- ok not really- but it is huge...and no worries- this man is the nicest man ever- He is very kind and wakes up early to tip me sometimes. He gives me $10 every month! thank you for spreading the wealth sir.

The Stressed out Mom House- this house has a huge suburban parked in front with a "soccer mom" sticker on the back windshield. There are toys everywhere on the lawn. There are always things like baseball bats and dog dishes on the front porch and not that I peek in the windows but their basement is stacked with laundry all the time (I sort of glance inside windows from time to time)

The Cat House- me who doesn't like cats- really loves this cat.

The TV House- always always on- I have never seen this TV off. Never. No lie. This man loves his TV. Maybe silence makes him feel uncomfortable- I wait for the morning to tell Chay the TV was actually off. We look forward to this day.

The Smoke House- This house smells like cigarette smoke. You can start to smell it when you get about 10-15 feet from the porch. Sad

The New Porch House

The Comcast House

The Castle House- There is a Cinderella suite or something- beautiful big house

The Pot House- They actually don't get a paper but I cross their lawn everyday and I think, "I swear everyone who lives in this house smokes pot"

The Over Done Christmas Decoration House- self explanatory

The University of Utah House

The Spanish House

The Sheriff's House

Brother Drapers House. You know you're in Utah when you yell to Chay while he is driving- "You get Brother Draper's house and I'll get the one on the corner" or "Did you get the House to the family who spoke in Stake Conference?"

The Lady Who Gets Scared House- This lady always gets spooked no matter what when she sees us so early in the morning.

The Holland Lady's House- Don't know if she is from Holland or not but I just really love her foreign accent and so I just say she is from Holland...I like to say the word 'Holland' in a Holland accent. Try it.

The Mexican Who Likes Geese House

The Coupon Lover House

The 4 Wheeler House- Chay named this one-obviously

The Dog House- no matter how quiet you throw or place the paper on the porch these ravaging ruthless mean barking dogs attack and slobber all over the door- from the other side thank goodness- and I am just so grateful there is a door that is keeping our worlds separated. I love fences and doors.

The Rug House- this lady has like 5 rugs stacked up on top of each other. Why? I really don't know. She likes rugs.

The Subaru House

The landscaped House

The $20,000 Waterfall House

The Natural Gas Car House

The Cookie Cutter House- there is nothing wrong with this house- everything is perfect, the lawn, the landscape- no cars in the driveway, no clutter, it is almost weird- I think I would rather have tea parties on my front lawn than have this boring perfect looking house-(isn't it funny how I am totally judging these people by their homes- and I really have no clue who they are- it is fun though. You should try it)

well I can't think of anymore- most of the homes are pretty basic and boring to remember anything about them- like my house- but that is probably a good thing.

so...

so...I have been doing really well with keeping my priorities in line- for a couple of days (except yesterday...and today ugh) I have told myself no computer, no tv, no phone (sorry Emily)...and you know what is funny? My girls are so much better behaved when they don't have to fight for my time...so that is good. I don't feel it is fair to their time either to see their Mom preoccupied with things that really don't accomplish much- Do your kids go buck wild the minute you pick up your phone to talk? Anyone??

Chay and I went shooting for our anniversary. We decided to try out our new gun. I love telling people we went shooting- just to see their reaction mostly. Some say "wow that is so cool, we should go together some time" and some will just give that awkward you're crazy look, and others will disagree completely- and so it is sort of entertaining.

well anyway so...um I can't believe how scary it is to shoot a 9mm.

The best part about buying ammunition and shooting at the club is the fact that I am always carded. I accidentally forgot my drivers licence on Saturday and the guy at the shooting range told me I couldn't shoot anyway because I was under 21. I had to giggle about that when I corrected him and told him I was 29. I then told the guy Chay and I had two girls at home and that I am as innocent as they come "please let me shoot" He let me in. I felt flattered for a second about being carded until I glanced at the rest of the ladies who were in line to shoot. They were gruff hardcore flannel never worn mascara type ladies- and here I was wearing big earrings and actual fitting clothes- The ladies in line probably all had a nick name for me I am sure.

so when I first shot the gun I about died...I was taken back, kicked back, hurt my back- when I pulled the trigger for the first time. I couldn't believe the power- holy crap. I instantly felt respect for the weapon and I knew that responsibility was key in owning this thing.

I almost started to panic a little and my heart started to race. It was like the loudness and jolt of the gun threw the beating pattern of my heart off and I started to get pains in my chest. I just couldn't believe it. Chay was just laughing at me...it was kind of scary. Chay taught me how to aim the gun at the target. My target was an outline of a man and Chay told me to aim for the number 5 which was placed exactly in the middle of the target man's head. (I know- how bad can this get right?) but it is ok- I realized that I could one day save my children's life or my own for the matter and BOOM I put a bullet hole right through the number 5.

I honestly hope I never have to use the gun in self defence...but shooting was kind of interesting and I will probably go again- just so I can get rid of the jitters.

So whatever doubt some may have about guns- they are legitimate doubts I am sure- but I just trust the 2nd amendment and know the constitution was inspired and it is ok- it really is-

I hope Bryon reads this post. He would be so proud of his little sister.

5 years ago today

how about some wedding photos?



5 years ago today I woke up without a worry in the world.

ok let me rephrase that- I woke up to Joette by my side. The night before she got this sweet crazy idea that we should sleep together as sisters "one last time" before I get married. I wasn't dying or moving across the world but we did share a bed growing up and so I took her sleeping together request to be loving and sentimental- but she had some bizarre dreams that night- and she talked in her sleep the whole night and kept stealing the covers saying over and over in her sleep "I am sooo cold...it is sooo cold" only to wake up the next morning not remembering a thing...

ok so despite the sour start...November 22, 2003 was one of the most peaceful freezing days of my life. I felt beautiful and confident. I knew I was going to marry Chay. It was the obvious perfect next step in life...and the spirit confirmed it over and over.

My hairdresser kept asking me if I was nervous. "not at all" "not at all? Are you sure?" "you need to meet Chay Eileen...you would know if you met him"

I am a "kind of all over the place" type person. I am genuine, love people, kind and the sorts- but when it came to liking men I was sort of displaced. I was kind of set in who and what type of guy I wanted to marry--so when I met Chay for the first time (in Portuguese class after the mission at BYU-I) I just knew he would be one of my "buddies" for the semester and nothing else. To be honest I was kind of stupid to not realize that this soft, funny, sincere, humble, respectful guy would be anything less than the perfect match for me.

While I was seriously dating a strong willed meant to be successful guy who seemed to control the universe, Chay and I steadily became good friends. I was on the look out to marry some big buff pre-law type personality who I could discuss politics, nature and psychology with- and so I almost married this someone who supposedly fit my perfect profile...and during all this drama, Chay was just there...apart of my life and patiently allowing the best of life to happen all on its own.

I knew Chay liked me. I could tell by the way he always wanted to be with me. He even asked me to Homecoming and I had to tell him no- I was already committed to someone else at the time. Chay was calm and respectful as I juggled through what I wanted. We would study together and laugh- play guitar and take walks. We always made sure we were in the same study group together. Everyone knew if they could find Chay they could find April. But I was distant when it came to romantic feelings and Chay never once tried to pull anything flirty on me- He knew me already- his steadiness and his non flirtiness approach was actually very smart on his part- because through his friendship- and me realizing that this guy likes me even though we have never made out or held hands during a movie (holding hands is definitely a bigger deal than kissing in Rexburg when it comes to "moving on to the next step commitment type stuff") I knew that this guy was the real deal. The real deal. Chay was waiting for me...and he did it respectfully. Which is weird to explain- but I knew there was something different about this guy...

Well we didn't touch each other for a whole semester...but we hung out all the time. The guy I was dating broke things off with me and I was devastated...for a little while. And then Heavenly Father just kind of sort of allowed me to see what has been in front of my face for the last 5 months. Oh and I forgot to add that Chay actually started dating a girl mid semester but it didn't even faze me- He could kiss on her all he wanted to- I knew he would drop her in a second if I told him I wanted to be together...I know that sounds a little egotistical of me...but come on- it was true- you girls know when you've got a hold on a guy.

I can't explain Chay very well. He is just something else I tell you. He is your typical guy- loves 4 wheelers, cars, fixing things, watches pointless movies, eats hamburgers and pizza quite often, loves...me. But he kind of glows if you know what I mean. He gives off this light...and just talking with him for the first time people are suddenly aware of his pureness...He is extremely likable. Everyone is Chay's friend. And although I have my armful of certain friends that I care deeply about, Chay makes armful of friends by the day. He is comfortable around all types of people and he is simple enough where everyone can enjoy Chay on one level or another. He is just this all encompassing loving all people type of guy. He is sincere...and never fake. Are you getting him yet?

So...Christmas break 2002 Chay hugged me for the first time. It was one of those missionary side hugs with one arm. Nothing special...but I loved it. I stopped by his Dad's house on the way back from Utah. He was so excited to see me...and his eye brows had been shaped and plucked (he has monstrous eyebrows) He seemed to be overly good looking to me all of the sudden. A couple weeks later we were driving back to his Dad's house to go snowmobiling. I wasn't sure if I wanted to go. I knew Chay liked me a lot and I was afraid to keep things going. He could tell I was apprehensive about everything. He just said, "April, we are going snow machining- that is it- just have fun" I noticed in the truck his amazing profile and sexy jaw line- and I remember thinking "how come I didn't notice that before!" I talked to Chay the whole way and he listened...and well I kissed him the next night.

It was a good kiss...followed by more good kisses.



So we fell in love. He was calming to my "all over the placeness" He kind of just lets me be and lets me figure things out- and at first I didn't like how laid back he was- I was always so sure I wanted someone aggressive and Mr. Powerhouse...but can you imagine if I did marry someone like this? Oh my gosh just imagine the fights!!!! My house would have broken doors and punched out holes in every wall.

Chay is a powerhouse. He is. He is a spiritual powerhouse who relies on the spirit to direct his choices. He loves. He is full of love. He fasted and waited until we we were sitting together in the celestial room at the Idaho Falls Temple to tell me he loved me. We went out to the sand dunes late one night to look at the amazing stars (stars are much better and brighter out in the middle of nowhere)and he said as we were laying there, "this is how I know there is a God"

When we were dating it was like a "coming home" type feeling. I never had to worry about impressing Chay and trying to constantly win him over. He was mine and I was his and no matter the quirkiness in each other we were already committed. We didn't have any huge discussions on what each other wanted and expected from each other- it was just comfortable. It is good to remind myself how I felt when I was getting ready to marry Chay. Sometimes when life takes a turn and children pop into the picture, it is easy to forget the qualities, the talents, the love Chay possesses as a human being- who he is- He really is remarkable.

Minutes before we were married, Chay and I sat together in the celestial room- just waiting to be sealed. We were sitting there on the couch giggling about who knows what...and then he really started to laugh "April...you have some carrot in between your front teeth...you ate carrots for breakfast?" He still had much to learn about me didn't he? What a funny moment that was-

Sometimes I will think, "how did I end up with this guy? We are so opposite!" We really are. I love to watch the news- He would rather watch the Simpson's (we both love The Office however) I would rather walk and hike, he would rather ride his 4 wheeler. I like to analyze, He likes to fix things right away. I would rather just talk about the gospel, he would rather just get his home teaching done, I eat spinach and soy, he eats pizza and jalapeno poppers. I like to go to bed early- him late, I like art and philosophy, psychology- he could really care less. I like Alanis Moresette, He likes Butt Rock from the 80's...

I could go on and on.

But you know, He is just what I need. I hope I am just what he needs...but he allows me to be me. I know if I could just understand myself more and get over my own insecurities, Chay would continue to allow me to grow and expand to who I could truly be. He does not ever hold me back. He believes in me. He always tells me, "April you need to make a CD with your music" or "April, you need to write a book" "April maybe you should get a job at night so you can get out of the house more" "April you are an amazing teacher" When he says things like this- my heart melts and I know that regardless of how different we are- together we can create a synergy that is full of potential- we can do amazing things together. I know we can- we are still trying to figure that out- but I know we can.

Things are bumpy of course and in my irrational thinking sometimes I just want to runaway and give up...but those thoughts have never lasted more than 20 minutes- because Chay will go and do something wonderful and he will interrupt my negative thinking-He always does that. Even when I want to be mad at him I can't. He is so patient with me when I am mean and rude. He knows I am upset when I shut drawers a little harder than normal- and he adjusts quickly to my attitude- He is really amazing that Chay Clark.

There is a lot of truth to the whole concept that freedom makes you thrive and grow where security can do the opposite and impede all that is good and necessary in a person and in a relationship. I think it is pretty self evident to me that I chose freedom- I really did..as cheesy as that sounds- yeah that sounds cheesy. Chay will make fun of that one...oh well.



ok well Happy Anniversary to us- many more to come. I love you Chay. I love you so much. I love you. I am so grateful to have you. It's ok that you hide dirty dishes in the oven and leave empty pizza boxes in the fridge. Your pickle breath is tolerable too. You mean so much to me- to many more great years together.

my laundry/foodstorage/craft/april's room

So we actually started this project in May.

About a year ago I snagged free kitchen cabinets and counter tops off of KSL (website here in Utah- similar to Craig's list) The funny thing is- is that I kept saying "hmmm I need to get free cabinets somehow and paint them white for my laundry room." Chay would say, "good luck with that one" well what do you know? I was the lucky first caller when a nice family posted their kitchen cabinets and counter tops for free on KSL. The cabinets were semi-old but I knew they would look great with new hardware and painted white- (my dream kitchen is a white kitchen...white cabinets...big windows...big island...someday.) anyway the funny part about getting these cabinets was the sticky note left on the face of one of the cabinet doors. I left the sticky note on there for awhile- just to giggle when I saw it. We can all mostly relate can't we?

...and then the annoying big space taker cabinets sat in our basement for a good while and then...Mom...oh Mom called one day and said, "I'm coming down for 2 weeks- let's finish your laundry room" and so this room actually has bittersweet feelings when I walk into it. Bitter because there is usually laundry all over the floor and also sweet because Mom helped with so much of it...and she was even moving slow but with her help we accomplished so much- ok so here are some before pictures of the room. This room was disgusting. It was just cement floor and had these homemade poorly done type work benches randomly placed- there were 3 different types of cupboards that were all broken and nasty...we seriously threw everything extra in there and it was like war trying to do a load of laundry. So...got to love "this old house"- oh and please don't mind the mess- this is really bad messy bad- but they are GREAT before pictures wouldn't you say?



ok and here are some pictures of the work in progress

There are a lot of pictures of Chay...but I seriously worked as hard or maybe even harder on this project than he did. In fact Mom and I did a lot when he was at work. I was the one who always wanted to take pictures...ok I just had to say that- I need to take some credit- just because my husband is Mr. Hot Home Handy Improvement Man...ok so he is making silly faces in these pictures- but you all know he is hot.

and here is is a really funny video- and yes we were doing this project during American Idol season...so obviously only during commercial breaks would there be any sanding of the cabinets-



and some more pictures- here is a shot of some of the counter tops- these were practically brand new- I know they are dark which was more the reason to paint the cabinets white...







Here is Mom- she loved to do home improvement projects- she loved to work!...she is making a silly face too- can't you tell how excited we were to do this? It actually got old really fast...



and here we are laying the floor- which is just linoleum- but so many people asked us if we tiled the floor- this was so easy just stick and lay- and it was only $.52 a square yard- CHEAP!



ok and here are the after shots...just so you know this project actually isn't done yet- there are touch ups to make, cracks to fill, trim around window, curtain to make, more shelves to build, holes to patch, barstools to buy- but it will all be done with time- I LOVE this room. It is so functional...it is big and spacious, it has tons of storage and working space for crafty things (I actually haven't done anything crafty in it yet but I have space now if I want to)- all my wheat, rice, milk and beans fit under the stairs- there is storage space for my food- and we even put in a little chest freezer which comes in handy...anyway so enjoy enjoy

every little moment

well...I have been busy.

I'm not really in the mood to blog lately- isn't that weird? I am just kind of preoccupied with holidays, sick kids and husband, paper route, calling, Chay's calling, sleeping more...

plus I haven't been in the best mood lately- and I find it dangerous to blog during those times. You see, I usually figure things out with time- and with some processing and thinking- things balance themselves out and everything is back to normal and ok- and then I can write about what I have learned through my drudgery rather than have paragraphs and paragraphs of blubbery complaining rude unfair saga stuff...

I think it is grieving.

I was telling Tiffani- (Tiffani with an i) the other day on the phone that I think I am grieving over Mom but having a hard time recognizing it while I go through it. It isn't like this obvious pain like a sore throat and you would do anything in the world to get rid of it (I hate sore throats) but it's like this underlining dull emptiness that can't be felt or explained through words. I go about my day doing what April always does but I feel a little agitated maybe- a little less patient- a little hollow. I knew for at least 2 years my mom would die from cancer.- But whatever I once knew before- I sure didn't ever know this- this missing, this pain, this awkwardness of not having my Mom around. I guess I wasn't prepared for this after all.

So I go three or four days of just being and functioning just fine without Mom- and then suddenly I will have this major crying meltdown- the kind where you breathe deep and tears literally stream down your cheeks and you feel an indescribable pain seeping out of you somehow- it is moments like these that I know the body and spirit are so closely linked...after the tears are gone I almost feel grateful for a body that can let it all go...

I have a testimony. I believe in the Plan of Salvation. I just miss her...a lot. I know Mom is in a great place. Too great of a place- she seems really distant and busy. Joette has agreed that Mom feels far away- kind of like the years she taught seminary. She was so engaged in teaching her students and prayed so hard to teach with the spirit- that we all kind of just rejoiced in Mom's dedication and knew her "awayness" from the family was a good thing-

Mom where are you dang it?

Can you believe I was actually angry for a couple weeks? I was angry and bitter about losing Mom. I would say the dreadful stuff like, "Why did you have to take my Mom away from me Heavenly Father? Don't you know I need her right now?" I even kind of hoped Mom would hear me so I could play the Tomblin guilt trip on her. Oh guilt trips- a sad way of trying to validate ourselves. Our family is a master at this...we even know we do it and it makes us laugh when we catch each other doing it.

So I was angry...but I think that is passing. Now I am just adapting- surviving.
It will all come together somehow. There is much to be learned. I know Heavenly Father is aware of me and my simple small life. My worries are important to him regardless how silly they might seem compared to other people's worries.

My relationship with Heavenly Father is singular and individual...and so are my every experiences here on earth. They are my personal moments that are invitations to grow and learn- all designed by our Father. He is a perfect teacher..and parent isn't he? That is why we never need to compare our sorrows with someone else's. Pain is pain no matter the circumstance, pride involved, sin, mourning, love, tragedy, missing, addiction, joy- it is all pain and in some perfect way it's all here to teach us, stretch us, mold us into who we can become or who we really are- all we deal with everyday are baby steps I am sure- but as a whole- our whole life experience will one day be understood and we will finally see the reasons behind every little moment and step of life-

well that was positive- I better end here.

good night.

my color connection

The Ultimate Color Test

When you are at peace, you are: Thoughtful and sensitive When you are moved to act, you are: Courageous and resolute When you are inspired, you are: Flexible and experimental When your life is perfectly balanced, you are: Connected to nature and the world Your life's purpose is: To reach enlightenment

The Ultimate Color Test

what board game are you?

What do you think? Am I really Boggle? I don't think I have ever played this game before? I remember playing Sorry and Monopoly when I was little with my sister and friends and I would get so mad I would take the board and flip it- pieces flying everywhere- and then I would run downstairs into my bedroom and slam the door.

Do you remember those days Joette?

It is very true that people can change.

I was the worse poor sport in the world.

so back to this test: Click on the link below and take the quiz yourself if you want and please share- or even better- post it on your blog.

You Are Boggle

You are an incredibly creative and resourceful person. You're able to dig deep and think outside the box to get things done. You are a non linear thinker. You don't like following directions You draw your inspiration from the strangest places sometimes. You're constantly inspired.

What Board Game Are You?

the heidi life

oh what it would be like to live the Heidi life.

This book makes me giggle when I read it to Kenzie. It really is kind of a nice happy go lucky kind of book- but when you take the words out of context and just repeat them throughout the day at random times, it can be really hilarious. Whenever Kenzie is having a bad episode I tell her, "the mountains will make you well, yes they will"

I love children's books...and there might be some truth to that goat milk.

Here are my most quoted lines from the book

"Every day Clara drank great bowlfuls of sweet goat milk. "This is so good," she sighed, "and I am so hungry! At home I never like to eat!"
"It is the healthy mountain air," smiled Grandfather""

and

"And Heidi kept dancing around them both, singing happily, "I knew the mountains would make you well! I knew they would make you well!""

flowers and a 9mm pistol

so look what came along with Fall! My boring bushes turned a fire red and then the mums...the beautiful mums just came out of nowhere. I recommend planting mums for those who are having a hard time saying goodbye to summer's flowers- these mums have been seriously so delightful in the glum deadness of early winter-

and with that- another thing that makes me smile- we bought a gun.

I come from a gun family. Dad has his share of rifles and pistols, Mom loved to go shooting- Bryon has more guns than anyone I know-

Chay and I have been wanting to get one for awhile. After we read in the paper on Saturday that the gun shops were almost completely out of their inventory, we decided to join in and get a gun- before they get too expensive from supply and demand and/or laws changing in the future to increase taxes or outlawing the right to purchase one - I am glad that Chay did his research and that we already knew what we wanted- because when we walked into the store there were at least a hundred people all looking at guns and deciding which one to buy. There were families, children running around, teenagers, Dads, Moms- all there to buy a gun- not these freaky criminal type people or gang member look-a-likes but just normal everyday people who are concerned about their rights. I don't know why but I got a little emotional as I watched all these people doing their part to protect their constitutional rights...and it's not just in Utah it is everywhere- just google "increase in gun sales" and you will see what is happening all over the country.

...and as I continue to disturb more and more of my readers with my strong opinion- it is ok- the gun is hidden in a very safe place- far from the youngsters. Although I think Chay and I will take it to the range this week to test it out.

so mums and guns...

julia

Can you describe your child in one sentence? I think I can.



Whatever her focus, whatever she wants, whatever her goal is, Julia will do anything and everything to get it.



So I am sure her strengths will do her much good in this life- but not always- with every strength comes weakness I believe- and plus she drives her mom crazy quite often. Her scream I tell you is the most bitter high screechy piercing annoying sound in this world- and it makes me go mad.

but I love her...obviously. She is pure joy. So cute. So energetic. So confident.
I am looking at her right now as she eats a banana in the high chair and she just makes me giggle. She looks so cute in her snugly blue pajamas with her hair all over the place. My little Ju Ju Kaye.

chair

Chay and I bought our first round of ammunition last night. We are going to buy a gun. We have sort of wanted to get one for a while now. It might get kind of difficult or super super expensive in days to come to purchase a gun or ammunition...just preparing that is all- I know I sound like a freak to some but oh well- according to a comment I got on my blog last night I should never run for public office- LOL- that made me laugh- anyway here is an interesting link HERE- Chay has a really funny memory of Mom's 2nd amendment obsession and her telling him all about what kind of gun to buy. I think it kind of threw Chay off guard at first.


ok so on to brighter more fun things:




So check out this garage sale treasure!-Yes they are still having garage sales here in Utah. The people here are crazy for a good deal...so garage sales are still going until the major snow hits. Doesn't this chair have so much potential? It was $2. Probably $2 too much but I think I want to learn how to re-upholster it. Is it really that hard to do? Has anyone ever done such a thing? Anyway I fell in love with this chair- and now the disgusting thing is sitting in my living room. But honestly it really is a cool chair- I love how it's a "you can't find that anywhere else" kind of chair.




But then I came home and saw this chair on target.com and thought to myself "hmmmm that would be a lot easier and would probably cost me the same in the long run"

what do you think? Any of you know how to upholster stuff? I mean I have changed a stool seat covering before but I think this might be a little different.

what I needed to read

so this whole obama thing makes me want to gag. I even shed tears tonight. I know it sounds totally retarded but I am very passionate about our country and my gut feeling tells me he is bad news...I don't really even know why this is bugging me so bad- it just is. I just feel so much pressure from the changing values of this world-and it really is scary. I am writing Oprah a letter too- she seriously bugs the crap out of me right now...and I used to just love her- I think she is funny and all but enough is enough- At least it is looking like Prop 8 will pass in California.

ok I will stop for the moment. I am not having the best night. I am feeling a little anxious- I just feel so much overload from all the expectations, the crumbling morals around us, being a mom, doing my best- and when it comes right down to it I am just missing mom a lot. She would always tell me, "everything is going to be ok April" and oh how I long to hear that right now from her and only her.

so since I am trying to be extra grateful this month- I better end this post with this link to Joette's post today. It was what I needed to read tonight.

Click HERE to read "I listened and followed"

gratitude

I am grateful for so many things. Although it's interesting how easily I get discouraged sometimes- I go in little spurts here and there where I feel a little lost and overwhelmed. I am grateful that I was raised and taught to keep looking for the good and to keep trusting Heavenly Father even though life seems to be messy and hard.

Being grateful is more than just saying thank you- it is being a believer when all odds are against you. It is being willing to learn from someone you don't like. It is forgiving someone who hurt you. It is treating that person who hurt you like the Savior would treat them and putting all things behind. Is that possible? It really is- with the Atonement. I have experienced it myself. Gratitude is trusting God will take care of you and acknowledging it daily. It is being humble. It is doing and being instead of just saying how thankful we are. It sees all the good the Lord has done when all else seems to be destroyed. The word gratitude just makes me feel hopeful...like everything will be ok- If I could just never cease to thank God for His everyday miracles- everything will be ok.



I really believe that when gratitude is combined with faith- miraculous things can happen. We make ourselves available to blessings we wouldn't be able to see or notice before- good things just seem to happen more- to those who are grateful.

Gratitude is a choice. That choice becomes easier to make when we pray to have the gift of gratitude. I remember wishing I could be more positive and more grateful. I prayed earnestly for this for a long time- and I feel like although I am easy to complain here and there- I am having break through moments where I feel immense gratitude for life, for my family, for people, for the gospel. I thank Heavenly Father for this.



Today I am grateful for: my family, my husband, prayer, the snow falling outside, our warm house, the gospel, my little girls, our prophet, my dad, our country-




more to come- this month our family will focus on gratitude- every night before bed we will write what we are grateful for and put it in this can- I made this can last year and it became a really fun tradition.

worries of november

Remember worrying about who would ask you to dance when the DJ would play "November Rain" at the stake dances? That song is so long. I think I used to just head for the door...when any slow song came on.

so my november worries-

My health. It is time. I really feel like the Holy Ghost is telling me to get serious about my health. When we knelt in family prayer around Mom's body, Keith prayed that we would learn from all this how to take care of our bodies and to treat them like a temple. I thought it was so interesting for him to say that at that moment...but I felt like it was inspired. November always brings candy from the after effects of Halloween. I would say that plastic jack-o-latern pumpkin bucket-chuck full of chocolate staring at me from the top of the refrigerator probably needs to be dumped. I would say gazing into that thing all day and enjoying all the sugary varieties is a first welcoming to an early death sentence...especially if you have my genes, my MS, my body. I am like a ticking time bomb...I already ache all over from the sugar overload. so tomorrow I start to alkaline. Green drink, vegetables, no red meat, no dairy of any kind, no wheat- unless it's sprouted, no sugar, little fruit, lot's of almonds, avocados, brown rice- I feel so amazing on this diet. Now I know it sounds a little extreme but my situation is different than most. oh and for those interested in this "green drink" I am always drinking and talking about- it is a product sold from Dr. Young's Innerlight company. I do not sell it. I am just telling you about it. I believe his alkaline theory to be true for me...click HERE for a list of the ingredients in the green drink. I drink 3-4 liters a day. Yes...I pee a lot...oh and I will have a slice of pumpkin pie on Thanksgiving...that's a given.

ok novemeber worry #2

um...obama makes me worry.

It's ok- you can laugh. In fact I have lost sleep over it believe it or not...not that Mccain is some miracle worker either but he is still a better choice in my mind. I just can't believe how things have changed- I think Obama is poison to our country's constitution. Harsh? Oh I'm sure- but oh well. His record proves he wants to take away our guns, allow gay marriage, allow abortions to continue. He will ruin capitalism, the free markets, and our desire to make more than $250,000. Socialistic health care will be a disaster. There will be a waiting line to get into the doctors, the quality of our medical care will go down- The government's job is not to babysit us. As a nation we have changed. Instead of a drive to succeed we now only want to be taken care of. Security instead of freedom. Scary. oh I found that quote- Benjamin Franklin~ "Any society that would give up a little liberty to gain a little security will deserve neither and lose both." What happen to personal responsibility? Why is it fair for someone who sacrificed to make it through law school so they could one day sufficiently provide for their family only to be taxed heavily so people who chose not to work as hard could benefit and have a tax break? It is a principle not a political strategy- Hard work pays off- be responsible for your choices-ahhhhh I just don't get it!...plus if it is just for values and morals alone- just for those things alone- but people don't care anymore- everything seems to be so accepting these days... ok I am done. Sorry if I offended anyone- we're still friends right?

ok so welcome November...