mowing the lawn

ok, here are some of the random thoughts I had while mowing the lawn tonight:

I know a lot of really good people.

I am so fortunate to say I have been blessed with wonderful friends.

I need friends. I grow and learn so much from my relationships with others.

I want to be a better friend. I think often how I can be more uplifting and more edifying to those around me.

I taught sunday school on Sunday and we learned about Jonathan and David's sincere friendship. They were so loyal to each other because God was first in their lives. Jonathan's words to David:

"behold, the Lord be between thee and me for ever." Samuel 20:23

Isn't that a beautiful friendship scripture?

I am so grateful for the people in my life who put God first and show it through their graciousness and service.

Our relationships, I feel, are the most important most tangible thing we've got here on earth to understand God's love better. People. All God's children. Touching each other in different ways...bringing light, helping, serving, acting as earthly angels. Even the relationships that suck...where there is unforgiveness, cruelty, awkwardness, hurt feelings- still an invite to become more Christ-like and to forgive and change- all ways to help us learn more about Christ.

marriage, families, raising children, friends- major growth happens- at least that is what I'm experiencing.

Learning to love others is the second most important commandment- first is to love God...and yet we struggle so much in this world with forgiving and loving people as we should. We can be so dang difficult to live with- so critical of others, so hard on each other, so hard on ourselves...relationships really are the refiner's fire...

so there you go...my random lawn mowing thoughts...

I asked Chay tonight, "What do you think about when you mow the lawn?"

he looked at me puzzled, "nothing...I think about mowing the lawn."

grateful

grateful to have a great daddy.

Sure he's got his quirks- as do I. But my dad is loyal, honest, and loving. I love my Dad. He is easy to love and forgive...he is humble and protects his family like a dad should. I am so grateful I don't have bitter feelings toward him. I can't imagine life living each day not liking him and being upset with him. My Dad, along with my Mom, really created an atmosphere of trust, love, and forgiveness in our home. They must have- because despite our many problems, our family is full of trust, love, and forgiveness. So thank you Dad.

Grateful for my children's Dad- Chay. Sometimes I have to pinch myself to make sure I'm not dreaming when I see Chay with our girls. He can be the best Daddy. Oh my- like yesterday at the Zoo- so patient and so willing to help the girls have the best experience. I love his little talks with each one at bed time. Washing their hair and giving them a bath. Pushing them on the tire swing. Scratching Ju Ju's back. Making them laugh hysterical with his funny sense of humor and magic tricks.



It brings tears of gratitude to my eyes to know that my girls are going to grow up with a Dad that loves them AND shows it. My children will have a Dad that wants to be with them, wants to play, wants to take time out to be with them- oh that makes me so happy. So many children do not have that opportunity. Some dads don't know how to show love, some dads take off and never return home, some dads work too much- but my girls will have a daddy- a real daddy. One that will do anything for them.

Obviously Chay can't nurture like a mom can- and he is rough around the edges and can be quite the different disciplinarian than me, but it is ok. Because he is also loving and...he is present. He cares. He is there. He hits the 3 P's pretty well on most days. Preside, protect, and provide- in all ways those words can be interpreted.



I feel very grateful today. Happy Father's day.

his hand

I love this video.

Have you seen God's hand in your life today?

healing segment- today

"Don’t let the voice of critics paralyze you—whether that voice comes from the outside or the inside." ~Elder Uchtdorf

It is June 12th today.

I can officially say that I will be having a baby soon. No more months and months to wait for this pregnancy to be over...now just weeks.

I can't believe I will have a new baby to hold...a brand new little baby. Oh who are you little boy?

I feel so out of touch with my body when I'm pregnant- most especially this time around. I feel like my spirit is somewhere foreign. I think it's because I'm not used to the size of my butt...and the whole "thighs touching when I walk" thing- all foreign. I don't feel like I belong in this body. My spirit just wants to run- and get out of bed normally without having to roll out of bed. I want to pick up a toy off the floor without it being an Olympic event bending over to get it.

I've been loving the comments I've been receiving lately: "wow you are holding that baby so low" "have you gained a lot of weight this pregnancy?" "Oh my, you have gotten bigger since I last saw you." "Your feet and ankles are so swollen."

Today is a great day. I find myself thinking often about how I will get back into the pre-pregnancy body I once had after the baby is born...and having that energy I crave come back...and that vitality of over all good health.

why not start today instead of waiting 6 more weeks? Can't run a marathon or anything...and I doubt I will shed any major pounds...but today I can make some changes...why wait?

today is the day. I've had enough. I can't wait to feel great again. No more feeling sorry for myself. No more excuses. The benefits of good health outweigh silly non healthy instant gratification food. I know that...I always have.

Went to the gym today and waddled on the treadmill...ate mostly vegetables today...green drink...all things that bring "light" to the body.

here I go.

More to come- I like to blog about stuff like this- keeps me motivated during the first hard weeks.

excitements of lately

It's almost 10 o'clock in the morning and the girls are still asleep! I think I wore them out yesterday. I took them to "free lunch" at the school and they wanted to walk to the school- midway to the school they were huffing and puffing...complaining.- and then without a nap we went swimming. They played hard with their cousin Gage. They wouldn't leave the poor boy alone.

Kenzie likes boys. All her friends are boys. All I hear her talk about is Michael, Hyrum, Gage, Clayton...

Random excitements:

Went away for a couple days...feel rejuvinated...ready to be a mom and wife again...I'm sure only time will tell when it will be time to leave again :)

Hit the 50% off Savers sale on Memorial Day. I loaded up on some great newer clothes all for $.50-$3 dollars each for the girls. I love finding a good deal. Here Kenzie is supposed to be modeling some of the clothes for me but is picking at my plant instead.



I found this brand new bumper at the Savers sale too for $3! I love how it is white! I was wondering how I was going to find, pull off, or make some sort of boy bumper for the baby with my style...this was a pleasant surprise to find.



Chay built a tire swing over the weekend. We got the idea and instructions from instructables.com I love that website. You can learn how to do anything on that website. Oh the blessed internet. I can't believe how much my mom figured out without the internet while we were growing up. The tire was free from Pep Boys. Never pay money for a used tire. The chain however NOT free.



I found this cool table and chairs for $30 at a yard sale...it is ornate and beat up. But I just loved it. So I bought it. Thank you Cami for helping me bring home my junky treasure. I know I will be able to sell it for more...but for now I just stare at it and store junk on it...obviously.



Got my garden in and planted flowers. I am so excited about planting asparagus this year. I love asparagus and its a perennial vegetable that will harvest for up to 25 years! It takes 2-3 years before you can harvest but I figure by the time Chay is done with school we will be enjoying sweet asparagus...time passes quickly- it really does.


asparagus looks kind of freaky coming out of the ground like that...

We trimmed the front bushes...and Chay put in a new back door- being that our original back door was the original back door...from the 50's...and served no purpose other than being a door- a piece of hollow wood separating the outside from the inside. Let's just say we feel a lot more insulated now.



swimming lessons...for Kenzie. I fought swimming lessons...thought it was super silly for a 4 year old being that I started swimming lessons when I was 8 or so...but then I realized that I grew up around lakes and rivers and swam all summer long and sort of taught myself the basics- and Kenzie doesn't have that opportunity. Plus Kenzie likes it of course. But the pool water is always freezing...her teeth chatter/bottom lip quiver the whole time.

Look at this tall lonesome beautiful tulip. I love looking at it.



This picture is special to me. "The Promise" by Morgan Weistling. A very special family who I love so dearly placed this picture of Christ in my bedroom- it was the first thing I saw when I walked in my bedroom for the first time after serving my mission. The little girl looks like me when I was little. I love how she is clinging to the Savior.



Well I spray painted the picture frame white to match the girl's room decor better...



And camping...in the backyard. We actually never slept in the tent...but just played in it all day. I'm not about to sleep on the ground with a huge belly when I have a comfy bed 20 feet away.



Kenzie and Daddy

Minivan debate

We have been needing a new car for awhile. You know, the ones that actually fit more than 2 car seats comfortably? Our jeep will fit 2 boosters and baby seat but that is after giving yourself carpal tunnel trying to buckle the boosters in which are CRAMPED up next to the baby seat. It's like a 10 minute process...and sometimes even bloody. It's a no-go with someone with little patience like myself.

So the minivan question arose???? Oh the look on Chay's face. Classic.

You see, I'm married to a motor sports kind of guy. He hauls dirt bikes and 4 wheelers on a weekly basis. Either to sell, fix up, buy, or ride. Fox bumper stickers and minivans don't mix. I don't think minivans mix well with any man really. I'm now convinced they somehow mess with manhood.- Along the same line as chick flicks and listening to Celine Dion.

I'm not a minivan fan either...but I would drive one if I had to. But THIS commercial has definitely changed my mind. You have to watch this...

every minivan family out there (who is basically everyone I associate with) this is for you...take pride in your swagger wagon.



and this one is for Chay...because a family man really can drive a minivan...



oh these commercials made me laugh the hearty laugh. The big chuckle and jerk motion that the Tomblin ladies are known for. Joette has the worse laugh and jerk out of all of us. She can become dangerous when she laughs. Don't make her laugh while she is driving.

Minivans are cool.

light

I've been thinking a lot about "light" lately.

I know, a little random.

but the word "light" and what it offers in all its dimensions and interpretations really intrigues me. Spiritually, literally, figuratively, scientifically...

driving on the way here..."here" is my in-law's house- they are gone for the weekend and so in desperation to escape from who knows what- just escape to a place where I can think and act in complete silence...I asked if I could stay at their house. Surprisingly my wonderful mother in law agreed that it was a great idea for me to come and get away for a few days. So here I am. Very weird, I know- but I will tell you one thing- it is VERY quiet here. Just me. Just me. Wow. Just me. I only have to take care of me for the next couple days. This is a first in a very long time...and probably the last in a very long time. Wish Chay were here...but I think this time alone might do some good.

anyway on the drive here my mind was full of thoughts...and I contemplated my life...and my priorities...and this weird trip I was taking to my in-laws house to be alone. And my thoughts led to a prayer and then to more thinking...and then "light" came to mind.

I like light. In fact I am worried about being in this big house in a couple hours. Alone, dark house, dark night...oh dear April- just don't read into any noises you hear.

light.

"Then spake Jesus again unto them, saying, I am the light of the world: he that followeth me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life." John 8:1

Christ is the light of the world. All things testify of him. Without him we would only have darkness. Christ is truth and truth is light. The magnitude of Christ's light/love is incomprehensible...but we can catch glimpses of it every day and testify of its realness...and continue to learn and grow because of it. There is a lot of light out there...Christ is everywhere if we train our eyes to see Him manifested in all things.

So the whole "light" thing all started when I popped in a health CD I have been wanting to listen to for like a year but never got around to it. I noticed the CD in a pile of stuff right before I was leaving and I had a tiny feeling that maybe I was supposed to listen to it on my drive here. It was interesting to say the least. The bio-chemist microbiologist guy who was talking explained in depth how certain foods we eat produce "light" or energy in the body and how other foods can actually destroy or rob "light" or energy in the body. He went on to say that our bodies do not run on calories, fat, or protein but actually run on light and electricity. He even said that our words, thoughts, and deeds can affect the light in our body. Wow I really liked what I was hearing. He obviously explained it in bigger scientific explanations that went over my head, but I got the jest of it. He then went on to talk about alkalinity acidity pH stuff...blah blah blah...but it made sense nonetheless and I couldn't really disagree with him because he basically pushed the simple knowledge that vegetables are full of proton energy producing minerals and nutrients that can supply healing essential alkaline electricity to the body.

So eat a cucumber already.

(Wow. I'm having color problems with the print)

Then I put in another CD (this time it was music) and one of the first songs I heard was this one:

Hold on the Light Will Come by Michael McLean

The message of this moment is so clear
And as certain as the rising of the sun
If your world is filled with darkness, doubt and fear
Just hold on, hold on, the light will come

Everyone who's ever tried and failed
Stands much taller when the victory's won
And those who've been in darkness for a while
Kneel much longer when the light has come.

It's a message every one of us must learn
That the answers never come without a fight
And when it seems you've struggled far too long
Just hold on, hold on, there will be light

Hold on. Hold on. the light will come.
If you feel trapped inside a never-ending night
If you've forgotten how it feels to feel the light
If you're half-crazy thinking you're the only one
who's afraid the light will never really come -
Just hold on. Hold on. The light will come!

The message of this moment is so clear
And as certain as the rising of the sun
If your world is filled with darkness, doubt and fear
Just hold on, hold on, the light will come.

This song kind of spoke to the heart as it seemed to relate to some of my feelings I've had lately. It made me teary eyed and I felt it was one of those "tender mercies" Heavenly Father gives so freely to his children. It was hopeful. My mom used to love this song...it would give her hope during those long cancer journey days. Joette would play and sing it for her on the piano.

Most of my drive to my in-law's was dark, rainy, and dreary but the last 20 minutes or so the sun broke through the clouds in streams of light. The bright sun hit my face and I felt for a moment the sunshine was just for me...Heavenly Father's way of letting me know he cares and loves me. It was beautiful.

Thank you.

I love this scripture "That which is of God is light; and he that receiveth light, and continueth in God, receiveth more light; and that light groweth brighter and brighter until the perfect day." D&C 50:24

the Ross breakdown

I am seriously going through the hardest time right now. oh and please don't bring me cookies to make feel better- that will only make it worse.

I think I'm going to have an emotional breakdown...oh wait already had 4 in the last month.

everything is starting to pile up...I'm sick with a nasty cold, so is Julia- pregnancy, health, endless tasks, MS crap, kids, no energy, unfinished goals, sciatic nerve pain, relationships, expectations, stress, life- I have never felt this way for so long. It is so foreign to me. Everything seems to be taking a toll on me.

I have cried alligator tears for a week straight. We are talking the BIG tears...

Today Julia threw her 6th tantrum in 6 days ...at the store Ross. Her tantrums have become increasingly worse lately and usually last up to 55 minutes or so (I have timed them). I try to figure out why- probably some psychological disorder due to an insane mom. I took a toy away from her at the store as we were entering the dressing rooms... and she went absolutely ballistic. I have outgrown all my maternity clothes- gaining already 55 lbs and depressed as ever with my appearance, I attempt with a screaming toddler and a 4 year old to try on some shirts that will actually cover my belly and my boobs. I look in the mirror and I don't even recognize myself. I'm a big white puffy marshmallow! Julia won't stop screaming and snot from her nose is going everywhere. She is kicking and rolling around on the floor. I'm trying to take deep breaths when all of the sudden I hear this lady scream, "Shut that kid up!"

I was taken off guard and so I responded, "excuse me?"

"You heard me, shut that kid up or take her home!"

"um...I'm trying...I can't really help it..."

I have no idea what this lady looks like because she is yelling at me from her dressing room and I'm in my dressing room obviously. I start to get pretty shaken up.

she screams "You need to learn how to control your kids"

I responded, "Ever had a toddler before?"

"Yes I did and they never acted like that- you need to learn to control them or don't bring them shopping!" and she walked out of the dressing room and out into the store.

It was seriously a tipping point for me. My eyes filled up with tears and I started to blubber like a baby- Poor Kenzie just sat and stared at her emotional sister and mother go to town with the tears. She then asked, "why was that lady mean to you Mommy?"

A worker must have heard the whole ordeal and she went and found the toy I took away from Julia and slipped it under the dressing room door. Julia of course stopped crying when she saw it but I sure didn't. Then a few moments later the same worker slid a box of tissue under the door for me. I seriously had no control over my emotions. I was spent.

I was then determined not to ever leave that dressing room out of pure embarrassment. I eventually got myself together enough to leave. The nice worker apologized for the rude customer.

Not a good day in April's life. Hopefully I will someday laugh about it all. Right now I am barely holding it together.

I think about God's plan for me often and I seek the Lord through prayer that I may learn and grow from this time in my life...but it can really suck sometimes regardless.

Please tell me I am somewhat normal??? anybody lose it in a dressing room before???

operation home cont.

bunk beds.

With baby #3 coming...and with a little house, it was bunk bed time. Changing the bed situation around here was inevitable.

When the bedrooms in your home are relatively SMALL- your kid's beds have to go up. Chay and I even entertained with the idea of having bunk beds. "Think of all the extra space we would have in our room without this queen bed..."

It was a short-lived idea.

anyway so I found this bunk bed at a yard sale for $15.



old and very used...but with potential

sanded a little, primed, and painted...



I really love how the beds turned out. Perfect for the girls.

We also painted the room, hung new chair rail and crown molding- I'll post pictures of the room later...

The excitement of bunk beds has been interesting. My girls for the first 3 weeks of "bunk bedding" acted like they were on cocaine at bedtime. They laughed and giggled for hours. I mean hours. They wouldn't fall asleep until 11 o'clock some nights. They would see each other through the cracks and start laughing uncontrollably. Kenzie would peek down at Julia and again...out of control excitement. Who needs theme parks or McDonald's playland??? They are finally calming down...but wow- childhood. Great isn't it?

Ju Ju is a bunk bed pro. No problems whatsoever with the change from crib to bed. She did however sneak out of her bedroom once to get a toy out of the living room. Chay and I were watching a moving in the basement and we thought someone was breaking into our house...but no it was just Julia getting her butterfly wings by the piano...it was pitch black upstairs and all we could hear were little feet on the wood floors running as fast as they could go back to the bedroom and jumping in bed. So cute.