a must read

Acte Gratuit, is a blog about an American family living in Japan. I got teary eyed reading about their experiences...especially when the earth started to shake and she ran and pulled her baby out of the crib and ran to the stairwell...all too real for me. TEARS.

It is a powerful lesson about being prepared and what we can do to help those around us. Very touching. Read every post. HERE is the link to her blog.

Thank you to the Mothership for sharing this with me.

thank you

ok, I am so blessed.

I am surrounded by the most beautiful people.

I treasure my dear friends.

Thank you for all the advice on Xander and his sleeping issues. I loved ALL of it. I love that as mothers we are trying the best we can.

Marne sent me the book "The Baby Whisperer" AMAZING! I just love that lady. I read most of the book in a couple hours. And I love that she writes "poppycock" whenever she disagrees with something. I felt really good inside when reading that book- I think she speaks truth when it comes to taking care of babies.

Well...for 3 nights now Xander is SLEEPING THROUGH THE NIGHT!!!!!! My dear friend Cami told me to stop feeding Xander at night. Her words, "You can comfort them and reassure them all you want, but let them know 'the cafeteria is closed for the night". Great advice.

I let him cry for maybe 45 minutes one night and once he figured out he wasn't going to be fed, he fell asleep. He hasn't woken up since???? What on earth? Crazy how fast and quick that was.

I will tell you, the first couple nights of not feeding him, I woke up with a power boob wonder. (I only produce milk on one side) and holy smokes- ENGORGED. I ran into Xander's room at 7 am and practically demanded him to SUCK. Plus he was so happy to see me...and I him.

Breastfeeding- so weird, so great.

Ok, one hump in the road taken care of...now on to 50 other parts of my life that need improvement.

parenting advice please

my last post was evidence that my Xander is purely adorable in every way...

except for night time. Night time...the part I fear most of the day. I think about those night time hours and I start to get anxious...because I know I won't sleep.

Xander initially falls asleep on his own...well he's awake when I put him down- with a binky.

We usually put him to sleep for the night around 8. His wonderfully exhausting night schedule causes me to roll out of bed at 11, 3, and 5 am. For the first 4 months he slept with us- I loved it. He is warm and cuddly and would just nurse whenever he wanted to. Although I loved it and respected that much needed 4th trimester of love and cuddles, it was time to put him in his own crib and time for Mom to sleep better.

Not happening.

And I just don't have the strength to do it anymore. I'm a walking zombie all day with a short fuse. Chay waits for me to return to the paper route but I just can't hack it when I've been up 2-3 times a night feeding a baby. I really want to sign up for a class at the health club at 6am. That isn't going to happen until Xander is sleeping through the night.

I made up my mind and decided tonight was the night Xander would learn to sleep through the night. He cried bursts of tears for an hour and half. I went in every 10 minutes and rubbed his head...didn't matter. His sheets were wet from tears.

I caved after an hour and half. My heart was broken. I was so excited to pick him up, nurse him and cuddle. But then started to cry myself because I knew the situation was never going to improve. What am I supposed to do? I am so torn. I want to do what is right...And I want to take care of myself too...

Are moms supposed to not sleep? I mean, is it all apart of what we signed up for? Is this just a time in life to lose sleep and to just buck up and serve our kiddos the best we can? My mom always reminded me of the scripture Proverbs 22:6 "Train up a child in the way he should go" and kept insisting that I need to train my children how to sleep and nursing them all night is not "training" them how to sleep. I would always argue with her how it seems so wrong to just let a sweet-learning-to-trust baby cry it out. And then of course Mom would shoot right back "well you turned out alright and I let you cry" of course, they always use that one. Plus, did I really turn out alright? That can be debatable.

But I'm at a breaking point in my life where letting Xander cry might be the only thing I can do to stay sane. I need advice!!! Help!!! Encouragement. anything.

I'm tired. I've never been able to figure it out with any of my babies. Julia was my best sleeping baby and she still woke up at night until she was 15 months old.

advice? I know a ton of mothers read this blog. Please help me...I'm looking for an answer to prayer here.

How do you or how did you get your babies to sleep through the night??? I want opinions too. I love opinions...I like to know the "why's" to people's choices. Please share.

7 months almost 8

let's try again

Can you see why I have reason to smile (most) of the day? I feel so dang lucky.



Hope you enjoy family- my family so far far away. We miss you.