mom

Just when I think I am doing ok and feel somewhat surprised at my strength,

I crumble.

I go about doing what I normally do each day feeling alright and wonder if I am just numb to reality. Then bedtime comes and the apartment gets quiet. I can then feel myself facing the decision to either become difficult to get along with or to cry. It is hardly ever the latter. After a few days of this unhealthy routine I give up and allow myself to feel sadness. I don't know how to do this.
Her cancer has returned and it has mastisized--Her oncologist told her today she had 6 months to a year. Hope or denial, either way, I still believe in miracles.
Pray for mom.