My baby wakes up 2-3 times a night. I am sure I am doing it all wrong. I get reminders daily from everyone it seems on how to get little Kenzie to sleep through the night. I read convincing articles that sway me to do one thing and then I'll read another article that will sway me to do the opposite. I listen to the spirit, praying to feel right about letting her "cry it out" and although it might be a perfect solution for some babies, I don't feel it is right at this time. Most think I am crazy for going so many nights without decent sleep, yet finally I find through this long tiresome journey some mercy...at midnight.
During the past months as I have been woken in the middle of the night by Mckenzie's cries, I experience a lot of emotion, frustration, anger, and many tears. A few nights of me flipping out and causing an out of control uproar taught me quickly how ineffective and ridiculous my actions were. I would then pray every night out loud hoping the sleep angels would hear and put Kenzie to sleep for me. After 2-3 weeks of no angels, I finally faithfully believed that Heavenly Father was trying to teach me something...
Holding Mckenzie and nursing her in the dark room with a little glow on her face from the night light can be almost breath taking...
Singing "I Am a Child of God" 200 times in a row turns into a very spiritual experience. Try it sometime. Try it while rubbing a baby's forehead...God feels so close.
Sitting in the rocking chair with sleeping Mckenzie snuggled up under my chin and looking up at the picture of Christ hanging above the crib provides the perfect moment to ponder Christ's love for little Kenzie and for me.
Wrapping up Kenzie in a blanket that was knitted by mom...I feel instant love for my mother and for everything she is. Everything she is to me and to my life.
All these gifts given freely from Heavenly Father as I go through this small trial.
Heavenly Father loves me no matter what. He knows the healthiest way for Mckenzie to sleep through the night yet he allows me to go through some learning, trusting, crying...
Last night as I was sitting next to the crib reassuring Kenzie her mom was near and softly reminding her it was time to sleep, I was flooded with inspiration on how to go about with my little problem. I was having divine inspiration in the middle of the night. Isn't it interesting how Heavenly Father talks to us?...right in the middle of my sleepless night!
He told me in my thoughts that faith precedes the miracle and to believe whatever choice of sleeping method for Kenzie I feel right about and He would help me because He wants to give His children the desires of their heart. I also felt strongly about my responsibility to gently coerce Mckenzie to fall asleep on her own with patience and love. Patience stood out in my thoughts and I was reminded how patient God is with me. Heavenly Father is the perfect parent.
I really feel at peace right now.
good night.
8 comments:
You are a blessing ?-)
April Isnt it amazing how after you sing I am a Child of God 200 times and then Families can be together forever 200 more times how sweet the spirit can be. I too have had many sleepless nights wondering if Heavenly Father was trying to teach me something. He always is. I love you.
Oh April, I have sat in that very place in my life especially with twins. Yikes. I know exactly the feeling that you are talking about, when I have one of those days and the kids are just breaking me down, it's nice to sit there with them and sing I am a Child of God. That has always been my favorite song and has been able to make me feel many emotions.
I thank God for the children he has given me to help teach me.
Well said April! And you are so right....you do what you feel is best and that is the right thing to do! And, yes, I Am A Child of God is a miracle song! I have witnessed that myself!
Oh gosh Laura I can't imagine twins! You are amazing. Oh and I can't believe this is actually Laura Hall!(Pitman)sorry- How did you find our blogs?
You are a beautiful writer, April...and mother, and person. You are my Child of God.
LOL, good question...It might have been from calie's blog :) I found calie's blog from My Space, I believe she's on one of my brothers friends list :)
Just let her cry.
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