chaos theory

Why is the honey in with the cleaning supplies?
Kenzie, I don't think Dad's power drill is a good toy.
I swear I had more diapers, didn't I see them under the sink?
I wouldn't eat that triscuit if I were you. Where did you get it anyway?
You want some ice cream? Go get it- the fridge is out on the back porch.

Yes, these are all true statements- all derived out of living in chaos for a week.

We are living out of boxes for the time being as we patiently work hard to finish the hardwood floors. Every day is a digging session in search of that one particular item I swore I wouldn't need for a while. Unable to unpack, unable to undue a big mess, unraveled I have become. A little frazzled wishing to unfrazzle to say the least. Understand?

With high dreams and hopes of uncovering layers of carpet and linoleum to rediscover the original hardwood floors of our new 1949 home, we blindly entered full force into quite the situation. Planing on a 3 day project has stretched out to a week now with no real end in sight. Chay has scraped and scraped his brains out. A light at the end of the dark tunnel shined brightly as Emily and Greg called and offered to help. Not once, not twice- but 4-5 nights they drove a great distance to help. They're our heroes. They're our motivators. They were the only help we had. Then Jeff came. His arrival somehow gave us that extra boost to believe we can actually get this done someday.

The first night in our home we were tempted to rent a hotel. It was cold and we were without heat or hot water. The master bedroom was off limits with the carpet tore up. We slid our mattress into Kenzie's room. No crib. Late. Exhausted. I thought I was going to cry myself to sleep. I was stressed, freezing, tired, dirty, and displaced. Chay reassured me it was all going to be ok. And you know- it was ok. The three of us all cuddled together on the mattress. Kenzie fell asleep quickly from the long day, knowing no matter where she is, her family is her home. We woke up the next morning all together and I felt at peace. Until I walked out of the room of course- but the opposition and craziness all makes this experience real and- better yet we as a family are becoming closer. Chaos Theory.

When snow melts it travels all over the mountain in little streams. It is quite "chaotic" how the water finds its way down the mountain. Eventually the majority of the water ends up in bigger streams, then of course the rivers to the lakes, to the oceans, a perfect journey. From a larger perspective nature's course is structured and flawless. Yet on the way it can be quite messy and unpredictable and yet it all seems to work out in the end.

Eating dinner on the living room floor, living out of boxes, and all sleeping in the same room can seem a little hectic and it is- but really in the end relationships are strengthened and memories created. Even fights and bickering end in apologies and stronger communication. When things go hay wire, there is a motivating force somewhere within to retrieve the once comfortable homeostasis of living. Because of trials, disorder, arguments etc- we are given the chance to change, learn, grow- a lot more than if we didn't have the upset to begin with.

I figure sleeping with Mckenzie has helped her safely adjust to the new home. Cooking with only a microwave has caused me to be creative. Trust me- this is hind sight knowledge here- I still complain, I mean I'm normal.

We took off the ugly swan etched doors on our bath tub. There was a bunch of caulking to be removed. I sat there with a razor for two hours gently trying to remove the caulking without scratching the tub. Chay sat on our padded old toilet seat and talked to me almost the whole time. Now honestly who wants to remove nasty shower doors and who wants padded toilet seats? But you know, it is all adding tiny levels of thickness to mine and Chay's relationship. It is all worth it- I grudgingly say with a smile. It is all worth it? Yeah, I guess it is.