four&five

On the fourth day of Christmas my mom threw a big party- she called it her celebrating life party. It was amazing. The oldest, greatest friends came- I spent the evening smiling and laughing- my cheeks hurt from smiling so much. There was a ton of food and a ton of love in our home that night. Many shared their talents- cello, guitar, singing, piano- it was just so surreal- a perfect holiday scene. She painted the picture above. She made several copies of the painting and handed them out to all who came. It was the perfect gift to give those who love my mom so dearly. What better way to remember my mom than to have a picture she painted. Many people wrote down their love and memories of my mom. She cried and cried- her heart was so full of every emotion-she looked beautiful- she wore a brand new dress that sparkled...

On the fifth day of Christmas my mom found out she has 15 cancer lesions in her brain...growth in both arms and in her hips. The radiologist isn't sure how effective it will be to keep radiating when the cancer keeps returning. My mom looks tired and weak...but her spirit is huge, healthy, alive- I am sad, so very sad to see my mom struggling to hold on to life. I feel a little numb to it all and angry I suppose. Today was a day full of prayer...I just need extra comfort from Heavenly Father and help processing this all...it is all mumbo jumbo right now...just floating around without any effort on my part to fully understand it all- denial I'm sure.
But Christmas will be warm and perfect...we will not get discouraged and we will enjoy being together...I love Christmas morning. I can't wait!