Dear Mom,
Yesterday I yelled your name really loud...kind of like the way I used to yell your name at the bottom of the stairs growing up...:
"MOM???? I can't find the ketch-up in the fruit room!"
"MOM??? Does this look good on me?"
"Mom??? Do you have a button I could use???"
"Mom??? What time is it?"
"Mom??? What are you doing??? Can you help me down here????"
"Mom??? Do you know where any toe nail clippers are???"
"Mom??? Are you home???"
"MOM???"
No one answered when I yelled your name yesterday.- but I had a feeling you were listening and thinking how crazy I sound. Just calling your name reminded me how much I still need you.
Today is your birthday. You would be turning 60 years old. You probably feel better and younger than I do now. I can only imagine that young spirit of yours being free from that sick tired body. I bet you are annoyingly hyper up in heaven. I can just picture your face lighting up with laughter. I am sure many of our ancestors are rejoicing in your return.
I miss you. I think about you a lot. The other day I wanted to talk to you SOOOO bad. It was one of those "oh I have to call Mom" moments. It left a huge ache in my heart.
Maybe it is good you are gone. I think I am starting to grow up a little. I can finally put childhood away and start focusing on my own children. Traditions mean more to me now- holidays and seasons all rest upon me as a mother to create something special for my girls- I don't think I would ever really learn this unless you were gone. I was so depended upon you for so many things.
Your dear friend Melody stopped by a couple days ago and gave me a huge pot bouquet of mums for your birthday. It was one of the most thoughtful things anyone has ever done for me. I feel so alone sometimes being far away from family and friends but the flowers meant everything to me. Melody loves you so much. You have touched so many lives.
Last year on your birthday many came to see you. You laid peacefully on your bed in the front room. People came with gifts and cards. We all knew the time was short. Jaynee brought you a bouquet of gorgeous roses- and we placed them right in your view so you could see them when you opened your eyes.
Mom, I love you so much. I miss you terribly. This has been the hardest year of my life. I feel a very big void in my life now. I really liked you. Man- cause this has been so difficult to get over with. My good days are slowly passing up the hard days-but those hard days I tell you- are really hard.
I wish I could talk to you. Someday someday...I can't wait. I can't wait for that day. Happy Birthday Mommy.
Love always, April
6 comments:
I know the pain of losing your Mom April. It is hard, terribly hard.
I'm sorry that you didn't have more years with your Mom. I know that I feel cheated out of more time with my Mom and she passed away at 78. Mom's are simply irreplaceable. I regret not maintaining a relationship with your Mom over all these years, it's a shame and I am the poorer for that. She was an amazing woman and I missed out on so much. She remains forever in our hearts and she holds a special place in my heart with respect and admiration.
When you are feeling sad and lonely for her remember what a true blessing it was to have had her as a Mother for even a little while. And you can be confident that you will be together again.
Love,
Aunt Dorene
I got an email reminder that it is "Edith Kaye Tomblin's birthday" and just started crying. I love her so much and I will never forget her. I am forever grateful for her in every way. I often think of how I hope to be as close to my children as she was to all of you. You and Joette are like no one else I have ever known in my life and I know that your mom has alot to do with that. She is doing so much good on the other side of the veil... isn't it amazing to think that she's doing even more good than she ever did here? It hardly seems possible! She touched so many lives in so many ways. April, you are amazing! It breaks my heart to imagine the loneliness you sometimes feel without her here, but brings me comfort at the same time, to know that you know she is right there with you. :) I've had a couple of people say that the first year is the worst... it's probably a lie, just to make others feel better, but who knows... it might be true! :) Hang in there. Know that I love you.
Happy Birthday EDK. I love you so much.
I love your vision of you mother in heaven. She is having a ball, isn't she? That is a good image to keep in your mind.
And, she is watching you with pride, and a tear, in her eye.
Happy Birthday Eddie Kay. You probably look way better then 60 right now.
April,
What an awesome Mom you have. Even though I never met her I know she was amazing because you are her daughter. All great things you say about your mom, remind me of you. You may not always think so, but you are an inspiration to people (me included).
Much love,
D'Nell
p.s. Happy Birthday EDK!
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