service

I hate being pregnant.

Sorry to those who love it. I promise I am not evil. And yes I will love my child. I always do.

Someone asked me today what I wanted for Christmas. That is easy: My first trimester wrapped up in a cute box with a bow and then thrown in the garbage.

When I am miserable I love to create unreal solutions to my problems.

I want to go to a First Trimester spa/resort getaway. At this resort I would be given all the latest alternative medicines that would take away all nausea. I would have this secluded bright room with a fireplace and the biggest bed with fluffy pillows and an electric blanket. My room would be overlooking a lake. I would have a professional massage twice a day. I could sleep whenever I wanted. I would be served hot soup, turkey, mashed potatoes and Popsicles...no poopy diapers to change, no dishes to wash, no laundry to do- just peaceful walks in nature, visits from friends and family all day long...oh how lovely that would be...even for a week.

since I don't have a first trimester spa to go to...

I survive. Like what most mother's who suffer from morning sickness do.

I am only 8/9 weeks pregnant...AHHHHH!! half there??? please tell me I am at least half way there!...

I know when I am feeling really wasted and sick- I wonder about that whole mind over matter thing and- is it really true that some kind of inner strength can make a horrible day a wonderful day?

Now I am jealous of girls who don't get morning sickness AND the girls who have inner strength.

My inner strength consists of "Come on Heavenly Father, lift me off this bed...I can get off this bed, I know I can"...30 minutes later "Come on April"... 30 minutes later "the girls are trying to make breakfast themselves....come on April" 30 minutes later "Kenzie, you can pour the milk yourself can't you?" and then suddenly the overwhelming urge to throw up gets me off the bed..."see I knew I could get up somehow"

I know I am supposed to be of service to others to help forget about my own trials. Until I get better at that, I would like to thank the small acts of service that have come my way. Tara and Tami thank you so very much for the frozen dinners. Oh what a blessing and for Tiffani's pregnancy package and for calling me all the time...I married into such a thoughtful family.

I am learning great lessons about service...

I am discovering however what helps me sort of...some things that actually keep my mind off of things...and the toilet.

People. When I am around people I feel better. Well some people- people I love.
Music. Playing the piano. Turning on Christmas music.
Coloring. I have been coloring pretty intensely with Kenzie lately- and it helps.
My bed. I almost giggle when it's nap time and I get to crawl into my bed.
Mashed potatoes, gravy, turkey/chicken, and milk. I must be having a boy.
Phone calls.

small tender mercies...