I don't get it

Remember my freedom goals of paying off debt?

Well since that blog post we have paid off $8000 worth of debt. Paid off both cars and a credit card.

2 months after paying off the Suburban,  it get's totaled. Yesterday. Yes, another car wreck...and if I can find anything positive to say I will say- at least it wasn't my fault for once. I probably shouldn't have gone through the intersection on a yellow light, but it still wasn't my fault.

I don't understand it.

Life.

A lady yielding left didn't see me yesterday. I couldn't stop in time. My big suburban smashed into her Altima. The airbags went off and Kenzie and Julia were more traumatized by the smell of the airbags than the actual impact.

Luckily the lady I hit was safe. I noticed quickly she had a little boy and my heart sank. ALWAYS put your babies on the driver side of the backseat! This little 18 month old was ok because his seat was behind his mommy. If it was on the other side...who knows. My big car did serious damage to her little car. Convinced me how safe those huge suburbans can be to drive in and how dangerous they can be to anything they hit.

I spent 4 hours at the hospital so they could monitor the baby. Everything is fine. My neck hurts but baby is fine and since I am A- they were slightly concerned with blood crossing. Again- fine.

Julia didn't have shoes on at the wreck. My luck. The girls did have coats however. On the corner of the intersection was a Kia dealership. The salesmen let us sit in a brand new car with the heater on. They also gave the girls candy and they were smitten by our adorable kitten. Yes, Chancho happened to be with us. Then the salesmen said the Suburban was totaled because of the airbags. We glanced over at my car- coolant was leaking fast all over the street. I knew it was a goner  The salesmen tried to convince me to buy a new Kia. Ha Ha! Like that fits into my financial goals right now in my life.

I had just picked up Kenzie from school and left Xander with the neighbor. I was in a hurry so I forgot my purse.

The other lady got a ticket for not yielding...and it so happens my car's registration expired 20 days ago. Of course! So I got a ticket for expired registration and no proof of insurance. Which will be overturned once I give the court the proof.

It seems like we are always dealing with something major.

I came home from the hospital around midnight feeling really disappointed about life. The house was a disaster and the first thing I noticed was how dirty my kitchen floor is. Kenzie did really bad on her math test and she has her first big recital for piano in a couple weeks. I haven't had a lot of time to sit down with Kenzie and help her with anything. I noticed there wasn't anything to pack in Kenzie's lunch for the next day. Julia wants to learn how to read so bad but she just isn't catching on yet. Chay's truck is making a funny sound. I had a headache from the wreck and I bent down to pick up some stranded orange peels and I felt like my stomach was going to rip in two and my uterus was going to fall out onto the floor. The kitty is out of food. I have 3 big boxes of baby clothes in the kitchen that belong in the room that is being re-finished in the basement. Who knows when the room will finally get done. The downstairs shower has a plugged drain and when we flush the toilet a little water comes up in the laundry room drain. I don't want to call a plumber right now. I would rather buy Christmas gifts. The rising cost of food has been a burden on our family and I know I need to start making my own bread which is like entering a whole new world for me. How and when? Our huge bucket of quick oats is empty and I'm trying to figure out what to make for breakfast the next day...at midnight. I am completely wasted and feel so drained from life's pressures. We now are without a family car for awhile and Kenzie needs to be taken and picked up from school everyday. Christmas is on my mind. My callings at church are on my mind. I feel empty and unable to help my circumstances very well.

How's that for a sob story???

I cried myself to sleep. I feel so very overwhelmed. I know when the girls are overwhelmed or discouraged I can hold them and reassure them. Last night I felt a huge need to be held and reassured that everything was going to be ok. It didn't happen. Chay was trying his best but he is just as frustrated with me as I am.

Better days ahead I hope.