pregnancy...

...is a horrible experience for me. I wish I liked it more, but I don't. 

I am grateful however that I can get pregnant and that so far I deliver healthy big babies.

My dear daughters, I really hope you have better pregnancies than your mother. If you don't, I will be there for you. I promise.

I always chuckle when I read the lists in magazines of symptoms a pregnant lady might experience while carrying a child. I have 98% of the symptoms.

sick and nauseous- better than the first 4 months but still icky
heartburn
chronic yeast infection- my neighbor lady calls them the "yeasty beasties"
side stomach ligament pain- always in the middle of the night- EXCRUCIATING pain. Worse than labor.
Varicose veins in the vulva- ouch
sciatic nerve pain in butt- ouch
swollen feet and ankles
shortness of breath
hemorrhoids
TIRED, EXHAUSTED, ALMOST DEAD
weight gain- which Chay is actually enjoying- I feel so unattractive and he just loves the big boobs.
weakness- getting up the stairs is a killer for me.
Peeing my pants every time I sneeze
'Getting-up-out-of-the-bed-and-recliner-Syndrome'- I have to rock 3 times to get the momentum to get up. 
My back side and legs keep going numb but I'm sure that is the lovely MS.

Mckenzie and Julia, When you are pregnant I will come to your house and clean your microwave. I will make you healthy food to eat because I know you're not in the mood to spend time in the kitchen or to drive to the grocery store. I will cut up your vegetables for you.  I will take your kids and play with them and replace the MIA mother you've been because of your pregnancy.

This means we can't live far apart EVER.

EVER.

While I wished I looked like Heidi:

I know I look more like a Yo Mama, jumpsuit included.

And what is up with maternity clothes??? Am I the only pregnant lady that doesn't want my cleavage hanging out all over and my butt crack showing every time I bend over? And sleeves? Please.- most of us are not Heidi Klum- where are the 3/4 or 1/2 sleeves so we can hide the jiggle? I should design maternity clothes. Although I do love how Maxi dresses are easy to find these days.

For the most part, us women know when we look decent and when we do not. When we are reminded often by "oh my gosh you are so big" or "are you sure you're not having twins?" or "I just don't think you can get any bigger, how are ever going to make it to February?" It can be discouraging. This morning a mom I know well from Kenzie's school yelled across the parking lot "April, you look so beautiful...pregnancy is so beautiful!" It made me smile. Why can't more people say stuff like that? Or maybe not say anything at all?

I can't wait to get this little boy out of me. I love the feeling about 20 minutes after my babies are born--right after the nurses come in and massage my uterus and I feel like slugging them in the face as if labor wasn't painful enough. I realize the baby is really out of me and I can hold it in my arms- and I smile and say "I'm not pregnant anymore, I did it, and now it is finally over!!!!"

ok. done. I won't complain anymore- except to Chay- because honestly I sleep in the same bed as him and it is he who rolls me out of it every morning.