toast

Mom started to lose parts of her mind around the end of August. She died 2 months later on October 16th. She didn't lose her mind all at once. In fact she never ever did forget who we were or who her greatest oldest friends were. But in the beginning first stages she would say things here and there that were totally off and a little "out there" - and that is when it set in that Mom would never be the same again.

We were accepting of Mom not being all there I suppose. I wasn't so much. I hated it to be honest. I even got upset at first "Mom, you are talking so weird. Do you know what you are even talking about?" I was probably rude. Probably one of the many reasons why I cry about Mom being gone. Sometimes I wish I could have been nicer. Any of you daughters out there who tend to be a little snappy every now and then to your Mom- watch out. It will haunt you in later years.

anyway- So when Mom started to do and say things that weren't exactly "her", it kind of made reality set in- in a weird sad interesting kind of way.

But the interesting part about the end of Mom's life is that sometimes her brain would work in full funtion... and she would throw us all off with these deep profound words of wisdom...and sometimes she would try to convince us of something that didn't seem true- come to find out they were true and we would have to ask her for forgiveness for not believing her.

A couple months before Mom died, Joette heard her walking around the downstairs very early in the morning. When Joette found Mom she was in her sewing room walking/wandering around aimlessly.

Joette: "Mom, are you ok?"

Mom: "I want to finish eating my toast for breakfast and I can't find it anywhere."

Joette: "Mom you are downstairs. Your toast is probably upstairs in the kitchen."

Mom: "Are you sure? oh you're probably right. Why am I down here anyway? I am really losing it aren't I?" (with her cute laugh)

Joette made sure she told me this sad but cute story of Mom looking for missing toast- downstairs, in her sewing room, at 5:30 in the morning.

Well about 2 months ago Joette came to visit me in Utah and she brought down all of Mom's sewing stuff- sewing machine, serger, patterns, material, you know- sewing stuff. And what did I find mixed in with the material?

Toast. Old stale half eaten toast.

It was a lovely gift to find. It was so fun to discover the toast- especially since I knew the first half of the story.

Now I am having a hard time throwing it away.