Wednesday, August 17, 2011

big day

holding back the tears and being the "strong one" I reasurred Kenzie that everything was going to be ok...

she held my hand so tight I thought I was going to lose the circulation in my hand- together we stood and watched the kids on the playground waiting for the bell to ring...

Kenzie's first day of kindergarten was 10 days ago...the longest 10 days of my life.

Once the kindergarten teacher had all the little ones line up by the door on the first day, I desperately asked the teacher, "Is this where we say goodbye or can we come inside?" Mrs. Bever just smiled and nodded and kindly suggested that we say goodbye at the door. I gave Kenzie the biggest hug and told her how excited I was for her. I told her happily "I will be right a few hours" and I walked away...she seemed ok but me? Tears oh the tears. "is that why all the kindergarten mom's are wearing sunglasses? Where are my sunglasses dang it?"

I cried all the way home.

Oh the growing pains. So weird. Thank GOODNESS it's only 3 hours.

Julia was sort of lost all morning but together we prayed over breakfast and instantly bitter went to sweet as I realized how much I will get to know Julia better this school year...just me and her...along with all her questions. Love the questions. "why does Xander like to eat?" "Where in my belly are my pancakes?" "Can I eat my pancakes with a spoon?" "Does Jesus like syrup on his pancakes?"

(Thanks Kenzie for the great photo shoot!)

I will post later about why I chose traditional school over homeschooling. It has been a process, trust me. All I can say is that I know God is aware of me and my children and I know He answers prayers. God also knows I can be a complete basketcase at times...and through prayer He has ever so gently reminded me of this. I love homeschooling...but I think I love more the idea of it than actually doing it- day in and day out. I would go nuts.

oh and me crying on the first day of school and on the second and the third....I am who I am...and what else can I say? Although I know a lot of moms are right there with me...some others kind of made me feel like weak sauce...for being sad to send my kid off to school...well I am super emotional about my first baby going to school. I am the type of person that feels every emotion I guess. Every new experience is a big deal- and personally I have learned to love that part of me...I don't feel silly or embarrassed anymore. I actually feel quite alive.

When I picked up Kenzie from school on her first day (I was there 20 minutes early) I anxiously awaited for my big girl to come out the big doors. There she was all aglow. She smiled from ear to ear and screamed my name "MOMMY!!!!" I picked her up and she just said so proudly "I love it Mom, I love kindergarten, I really do" from her words I could sense her worries about school were going sayonara real fast.
When she got home she put her backpack away and gave out this huge sigh of relief and said,

"I feel really good inside, I need to help you do chores Mom." so funny to hear

Julia was so happy to have her best friend back.

Xander pooped like 5 times that day.

It was a big day for all of us.