Thursday, January 29, 2009


lib⋅er⋅ty: /ˈlɪbərti/[lib-er-tee]–noun, plural -ties.
1. freedom from arbitrary or despotic government or control.
2. freedom from external or foreign rule; independence.
3. freedom from control, interference, obligation, restriction, hampering conditions, etc.; power or right of doing, thinking, speaking, etc., according to choice.
4. freedom from captivity, confinement, or physical restraint: The prisoner soon regained his liberty.
5. permission granted to a sailor, esp. in the navy, to go ashore.
6. freedom or right to frequent or use a place: The visitors were given the liberty of the city.
7. unwarranted or impertinent freedom in action or speech, or a form or instance of it: to take liberties.
8. a female figure personifying freedom from despotism.
—Idiom9. at liberty, a. free from captivity or restraint.

Am I #8? Oh my, I think I am.

Think about the definition above.

And how does the following quote contradict the governmental views of today? Please write a essay in 300 words or less explaining...did anyone have a college flashback nightmare??? (I used to love essays on tests by the way)

"We should make the poor uncomfortable and kick them out of poverty." ~Benjamin Franklin

Just this week:

This week Obama told congress, "You can't just listen to Rush Limbaugh and get things done" I seriously gasped for air when I read that. I do not listen to Rush Limbaugh very often but a president of the United States can not say that nor should he believe he has the right to say that. America can listen to whatever they want, formulate and argue any opinion they want- and the opposition is essential to government. If you don't think this is a big deal, think again. Think on a much larger scale- a scarier scale-What did Hitler do when he didn't want his people being influenced by a different opinion than his? If you don't remember history class, just watch Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade...that might help a little. (It involves fire...and books.)

This week Obama as president, signed an executive order to allow federal funding for abortions done outside of the United States. It just broke my heart.

This week, the congress passed Obama's $818 billion dollar stimulus package.

ok so I don't have much more to say.

I did find a video clip that astounded makes me upset. There really isn't anything we can do about it- and so sometimes I feel that getting angry over our elected president is wasted energy. I am so grateful however we can get still get upset and still voice our opinions. anyway:

Barrack Obama can have his opinion obviously...but it is just sad that we voted in a man who supposedly promised he would do all he can to protect and defend the constitution- only to have him say it is flawed with blind spots. Who ever knew this would actually happen.

oh and here is Glenn Beck clip from T.V show- great facts and realization of what printing too much money is going to do to our economy. Really interesting- and really funny of course.

And last but not least: Do you want to contact your government leaders and express your opinion? Find you Senator's information HERE

And the leaders in the House of Representatives are found HERE

Get involved! It is our way of honoring those men and founding fathers who fought for our freedom...when freedom was understood that is.

fooood stuuurage

Food storage is rad.

um so I decided to play in my food storage last Saturday. Oh we had a blast. I would open up my sealed buckets and take handfuls of wheat and just throw it all over the know, like confetti. "Isn't this fun Kenzie?" Just throwing wheat and rice kernels up in the air in celebration of the wonders of foooood stuuurage.

Kenzie never believed me that working on building up a food storage could be so fun...until now. "What, you thought we were going to actually eat this stuff Kenz?"

ok so last Saturday I decided to do an inventory on my food storage. Now this is my theory on the whole food storage business: We are easy to be obedient to the things we choose to pay attention to. Sometimes people feel inspired to work extra hard on one thing/commandment in their life while another person feels inspired to work extra hard on something else. But in the end- commandments are commandments and the prepared shall not fear- and line upon line, precept upon precept (go ahead and sing the Saturday Warrior's song with me) we will gravitate upon those things which are good. So- if you aren't gun ho about food storage yet or you still live in a 700 sq foot apartment- the time will will all work out. Just do your best...always do your best. So- I feel however that Heavenly Father has lead me in a certain direction to pay attention to what the prophets have warned us to do for 60+ years: Store your food. I have been motivated by others who have listened to the prophet's council- and maybe someone else will be motivated by me- and so it becomes one big happy obedient food storage circle of joy joy.

ok so I have 800 lbs of wheat in my basement...and I have never made a loaf of bread in my life. Nor have I ever grounded wheat before, nor do I have a gets body doesn't even respond well to wheat- and it makes me constipated and very tired and bloated (too much information?)...but um...I have made cinnamon rolls before...and I knead the dough all by hand. When I start to complain about kneading the dough by hand, I just start speaking Portuguese and I pretend I am some humble poor Brazilian, out in some village, whose greatest gift to the community and family is my making of cinnamon rolls. The village people would starve without the cinnamon rolls- and I am ever so grateful to have the essential sugar, flour and oil on hand. - and I hum a song while kneading because there is such serenity in the simple things of

fooood stuuurage can be such a drag- but I'm telling you- I think it is a commandment we should take seriously. Are you paying attention to what is going on in this country and the world??? holy crud- it is getting worse by the day...

Ezra Taft Benson, "The revelation to store food may be as essential to our temporal salvation today as boarding the ark was to the people in the days of Noah." (October Conference,1973) and he also said, "There is more salvation and security in wheat, than in all the political schemes of the world..." (JD 2:207)

Here is a website that is a wonder when it comes to tracking your food storage- it is very easy to use and helps you see what areas you need to improve on. Oh and let me tell you- I am so grateful, so incredibly grateful for Chay's family. This family has been a miracle in my life. They seem to be so focused on what is good- and they all support and help each other. Thank you.

so according to the website I have about 40% of my food storage done for a year's worth of food. That is for 4 adults and 1 child.(I'd rather have too much than too little) I am so proud of myself. Good job April. I have a long way to go- but at least I know I am trying.

oh and I have more than just wheat in my basement- I'm not that stupid to store only wheat...I would be the first to die if that was the case. I can always sprout the wheat...which turns wheat into a miracle fountain of nutrients! Soo good for you...and you can flavor the sprouts and use it as a meat much work dang it-.

Anyway I think I'll go to the cannery today and get some more beans beans...the magical fruit.

How is your food storage coming?

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

stake dance re-cap

Down on the left margin quite aways on this blog- I have a stake dance re-cap playlist...we were listening to it last night- and of course the girls loved Ice Ice Baby and when Depeche Mode's "Somebody" came on I obviously had to ask Chay to dance. If I saw Chay at a stake dance when we were 15 it would definitely be my idea to dance. He would be attractively shy...and I would be able read him like a book-

so last night while dancing he kindly reminded me, "April, I don't think you'd be dancing with a 14 year old boy this way." oops

um...Stake Dances in my time were basically the coolest thing in the world. Oh and I am not from Utah or am I from a highly populated Mormon area...for some reason highly populated Mormon areas don't appreciate stake dances like we did in Eastern Washington/Northern Idaho...I think church dances might be "not cool" here...and sort of lame...and so is having a wedding reception in the church gym. What is really wrong with burlap walls and a basketball hoop in your pictures anyway? ok...I hated my pictures...but what beats a ward potluck? People still talk about all the delicious food the ward families brought to my reception.

ok back to stake dances. So they were cool...and were basically the weekend highlight. My friends and I would always dress up crazy...and we would dance in a big circle to techno music...and would go out of control when "Love Shack" came on and "YMCA" -and the guys danced too...remember "skaw" music?? The guys loved to dance skaw...

I just got off the phone with Emily and she told me stake dances weren't as cool as I had thought they were and after I left on my mission they became instantly dull...hmmmm and the fact that the group of guys we had crushes on moved away-
so maybe...well still- Stake Dances from the 90's matter what they say.

and then there was Jaynee...who is the dancing machine- Joette, Sheri, Taraka, Emily, Leah, who am I missing???

and if you remember a song that I am missing from the playlist...please share.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

my royalty

oh what a lovely dress...but after wearing it for 5 days in a row??? To Costco, pre-school, church, to the store- The minute she wakes up "Mom where is my princess dress?" and before bed, "Can I sleep with my princess dress?" (yes, the dress has replaced her teddy bear) "I'm a princess me twirl"

(singing) "I've been dreaming of a true love's kiss"

"Daddy is my Prince Edward"

I guess I really don't care if you wear the dress for the next month- whatever princess Kenzie. Love you.

Sunday, January 25, 2009

nick names

Here is a post Mom wrote in June on her blog. The nick names are ever so true- but they were mainly used and created by our daddy- I love this post because it really reflects Mom and her relaxed loving peaceful self:

Families are Forever, Aren't you glad?????

Thank you Keithy Weithy for fixing my computer. What would this family do without your expertise? Thanks to Bry Bry for helping me with my little girl (girl statue by the pond in flower garden- picture shown above). She sits at the edge of the pond so sweetly! Thanks, Jo Jo, Kakers, and Lore for helping make my thrown together dinner last night taste wonderful with your great additions, and the fact that you were here and brought your kids. Sorry kids that we didn't get to play "kick the can".

Have you ever eaten Naan bread? Oh my is wonderful and you can flavor it anyway you choose to. Thanks Jo Jo.

Thanks to Apey Snapey for always calling me. I love to talk to you and the girls. Well I need to get busy, I guess. Have a great day!!!

having a 'missing you badly' day- I love you Mommy

Friday, January 23, 2009


(this post isn't about a shoe- but it is a pretty cool looking shoe wouldn't you say?)

ok so I know many people aren't really interested in politics. I'm sure many of you would rather watch paint dry than to be updated regularly on what is going on in the country- plus it seems like an endless mess of crud...and really I mean really what can we really do about all the problems going on???

There is A LOT we can do. If you actually know what is going on then you can have the chance to be involved. It is so fun to call the Senator's office and complain. You should try it...and if you want to write a letter you can do that too- and almost always you will get a letter back from the capitol. It is kind of addicting-

I have heard many people say "we all know things are going to get worse, there really isn't anything we can do but get prepared for what's to come" I honestly hate hearing that. I really do. It doesn't make sense to me that we have sort of just given up...I don't think we understand what power lies in us when we are freedom fighters! God is on our side. So just don't store away your wheat and watch our freedom be taken away from us- we should store away our wheat and fight too! It isn't about parties anymore- red, blue- blahhhh they are all kind of mushy stinky right now- how about Truth, Right & Wrong, Principles, Morals, Agency- this is what we need to fight for- too often power and logic are overruling true God derived principles...and I'm sorry- I don't want to be on the side lines watching it all crumble. We really can do something. We really can. Even if we never see it happen in our lifetime- we must make a mark for our future generations.

You see, freedom and liberty are God-given rights to man. They are sacred rights and with every good thing- comes work, sacrifice and constant nourishing. When things get tough and rocky it is our natural tendency to throw away liberty for safety.

What happens when people would rather have security before freedom?

This quote should open your eyes just a little:

(Ezra Taft Benson served as the U.S. Secretary of Agriculture to President Eisenhower for 8 years while also serving as an apostle and prophet- the following quote is taken from a talk he gave at BYU in 1968-as a governmental leader he shares his experience/conversation he personally had with Nikita Khrushchev- who at the time was the leader of the Communist Party of the Soviet Union from 1953 to 1964)

“I have talked face to face with the godless communist leaders. It may surprise you to learn that I was host to Mr. [Nikita] Khrushchev for a half day when he visited the United States, not that I’m proud of it. I opposed his coming then, and I still feel it was a mistake to welcome this atheistic murderer as a state visitor. But, according to President Eisenhower, Khrushchev had expressed a desire to learn something of American Agriculture — and after seeing Russian agriculture I can understand why. As we talked face to face, he indicated that my grandchildren would live under communism. After assuring him that I expected to do all in my power to assure that his and all other grandchildren will live under freedom, he arrogantly declared in substance:“‘You Americans are so gullible. No, you won’t accept communism outright, but we’ll keep feeding you small doses of socialism until you’ll finally wake up and find you already have communism. We won’t have to fight you. We’ll so weaken your economy until you’ll fall like overripe fruit into our hands.’“And they’re ahead of schedule in their devilish scheme.” (Ezra Taft Benson “Our Immediate Responsibility.” Devotional Address at Brigham Young University. circa 1968.”)

AHHHH- holy smokes!!!!!!! I can really see our country taking in small doses of socialism. If you disagree- then you should study socialism- and compare to our congress and president's agenda... and of course socialism never comes across as bad or scary at first- it sounds more comforting than anything else.

Who wants to learn??? This video easily teaches about forms of government so you can understand what all this mumbo jumbo you are hearing about- it actually isn't boring-quite interesting and factual. Enjoy. Please take notes- there will be a quiz following- ok I'm kidding obviously.

fight freedom for friday once again

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

operation home3

so...the cleaning thing is still going pretty well. My house is relatively clean- whatever that means- but at least I don't get that freak out feeling when someone knocks on the door. Quick shove everything behind the couch! I did however play the piano all morning instead of cleaning but since I don't have any plans for the day- I will just somehow fit cleaning in my busy schedule.

But that is all boring stuff...

what is really entertaining is this: remember when I posted this picture from that lady's blog who loves to label and roll her sheets? And then I mentioned that I don't even know how to fold fitted sheets?

Well I swear she must have read my blog after that because she has a sequel to her linen closet wonder. Because the title of today's blog is titled: How to fold a fitted sheet!

Can I call her a sheet freak? Ok I won't because that isn't very nice to say.
I am very proud of her sheet folding skills...and I have actually learned with visual aids how to fold a fitted sheet. Knowing me I might still just roll them in a ball and shove them in a closet somewhere- maybe not- we will see.

The blog I am pulling these pictures from is Vanillajoy- I somehow came across this blog and I sort of browse through it from time to time- kind of like the browsing we do with that one magazine in the bathroom.

Sunday, January 18, 2009

she will make greater

She will make greater

Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater.
If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby.
If you give her a house, she'll give you a home.
If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal.
If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart.
She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her.

So, think twice before giving her any crap.....

ok so half of you already read Joette's blog but for the other half of you- I stole this off her blog...and I found it to be very funny...and true. Joette- did you write this????

Friday, January 16, 2009


fight for freedom friday once again- man time flies I noticed this morning my milk expires the day our 44th president will be inaugurated...what a historical event- our first African American President! It is truly a remarkable thing! If only it was Condoleeza Rice instead...

Ok- no really I hope Obama succeeds- I really do. I am hopeful.

ok so let's do a freedom test.

Since cell phones are the cause of thousands of car accidents each year- some even fatal- should congress pass a ban on all cell phone use while driving- hands free/blue tooth included?

What do you think? kind of tricky...

Although it is extremely smart not to drive when talking on the cell phone and I do believe people's lives could be saved if people drove more responsibly- Congress still needs to let "We the people" make those conscious decisions...not the government.

If so, next there will be a law passed where you can only have your stereo so loud while driving, and then there will be a law passed that no kids under 3 can be in the car because they are too distracting obviously, and then there will be a law passed that you can't eat while driving unless you first blend the food and put it a head gear type contraption with an automatic sucking feeding tube so you can eat or um... suck without ever taking your eyes off the road. McDonald's would definitely go out of business. But that's ok- they'd just get bailed out anyway... Do you see my point?

What happens when a civilization has too many laws?

People become retarded. ok not really but they learn to not think for themselves. Moral reasoning goes out the window. People start looking for answers outside instead of inside...they become conformists and then suddenly it is very hip and cool to say "Heil Hitler" but yet nobody knows why- everyone is just doing it.

Basic instinct, light of Christ, conscience, feeling something is good, feeling something is wrong...all these God given attributes kind of get foggy and misconstrued with the subtleness of what the popular culture is pushing...and instead of pursuing happiness like we should be doing- by serving our fellow men, going to work, saying sorry, building honest families, repaying our debts, contributing to the community, donating books to the local library or whatever- we are instead pursuing ignorant fairness and justification through useless laws. Unnecessary laws make it easier for us to blame, to fight, to sue, to forget what liberty and freedom are all about! People tend to lean towards being taken care of and provided for when too many laws cushion their agency and livelihood.

And then there is the extreme opposite which occurred during the The Prohibition of 1920- where an unprepared law passing created mobs, black markets, corruption- just let us decide and suffer from our own consequences ourselves will ya? Our spirits are too strong- forcing causes rebellion in the human spirit- for the good or for the bad.

ok so freedom obviously can't be achieved without some laws. The founding fathers knew that-and some laws are also necessary for our protection. You can't work on pursuing your happiness when you're afraid someone is going to slit your throat when you walk out your front door. Criminals are anti-freedom lugs. They deserve bondage. We don't.

So the moral of the story is: we need not be spineless sheep. Baaa baaa... and we need to be aware of those government leaders who desire to pass laws that seem like "nice" and "logical" laws at first but would slowly and subtly take away our choice to act and be.

So freedom test #2 How do you feel when you read this statement?

"We can't drive our SUVs and eat as much as we want and keep our homes on 72 degrees at all times ... and then just expect that other countries are going to say OK. That's not leadership. That's not going to happen." ~ Barrack Obama
(spoken during the Oregon preliminaries campaign for Democratic Presidential Nomination, May 2008)

It should make you angry...because we are Americans. Maybe we should dress up as Indians and sneak onto a barge docked at the Boston Harbor- a barge that is loaded with hybrid cars and push every one into the ocean...

talk about breaking some

Thursday, January 15, 2009

operation home2

so I was getting pretty excited about how well this whole cleaning schedule thing is going- until I saw this picture on a blog...and I about puked.

ok first of all I thought it was a universal rule that sheets aren't suppose to be neatly folded after they are washed for the first time. I can understand flat sheets but fitted sheets with the elastic corners??

Aren't you supposed to kind of just roll them up in a ball and stick them in the closet????

I can imagine the woman who posted this picture to be carefully rolling her sheets in her organized laundry room, humming while she ties and lables her sheets in beautiful ribbon...

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

thank you

Blogging isn't really that fun anymore without Mom. I basically started this blog just for her. She lived so far away and she always begged to see pictures and videos of my girls. Mom would always leave comments on my blog- and then she would also call me afterwards to compliment me on my writing. Talk about feeling validated!- my mom was pretty good at helping me feel good about myself.

Mom would call daily just to talk to Kenzie on the phone. It wasn't an obligation or a duty to talk to Kenzie- it was her pure joy as a grandmother. Mom sent letters and pictures in the mail for the girls at random times- not just on their birthday. It was like she truly understood childhood and she embraced every moment of it that she could. Mom taught me how to be a grandma. Just give me another 20 years or so...

I really miss my mom.

I try really hard to stay busy...and some days are better than is kind of weird how the whole missing thing goes- just out of the blue while sweeping the floor or something, I will get this huge ache in my heart and the tears will just come out of nowhere. Then a couple minutes later I seem to be ok for awhile.

This has been the hardest thing I have ever dealt with. It has been so draining in every way- I feel so much pressure- all coming from somewhere- just this heaviness- physically, mentally, spiritually, emotionally. I have been super angry and vicious and I have been a soft blubbery mess- At times I want to live in the temple for comfort and then sometimes I just want to stay under my covers on Sundays and not go to church.

These feelings I am feeling is something I would totally talk about with my mom. I could say something totally wrong and irrational to my mom and she would just know that I was being wrong and irrational- and think nothing of it. She would just talk me through things as she sympathized and mostly empathized with me.

Someone I know quite well said to me, "I can't believe how open you are about your mom" What? She is my mom. I loved her. I talked to her every day of my life. What is there to be closed about? Shouldn't I be able to talk about her with people I trust and love?

I am eternally grateful for Emily and Tiffani for calling me just because- and never being afraid that the "mom" topic might pop up somehow- because it usually always does...

and last week I talked Marne's ear off for about 2 hours as I walked aimlessly around Albertson's. The shelves were empty from the big sale and so instead of getting a good deal on the sale, I at least got a good conversation on the phone with Marne- which means more to me anyway (I am glad however that I eventually got some diapers)

I am so thankful that even though I lost Mom- who was one of my greatest friends ever- I am grateful for the friends I still have- that care and listen as I go through this.

thank you.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009


I always ask Kenzie when she wakes up if she had a dream while sleeping. I have tried to explain to her over and over again what dreaming is- and think about it- dreaming is probably a really weird concept for children to grasp- wouldn't you agree?

Try explaining it to a three year old child...

" is like seeing things in your head when you sleep...well not real things in your head...but pictures of things in your head...well more like your brain...your brain is inside your head...your brain makes everything work in your body...and so when you sleep your brain is like watching a movie but it's in your head...or brain...but you're sleeping so you can't really choose what movie to watch- it just sort of happens..." -by this time Kenzie is really confused...

or I could just be more specific

Dreams are sequence images, sounds and feelings experienced while sleeping, particularly strongly associated with rapid eye movement sleep. The contents and biological purposes of dreams are not fully understood, though they have been a topic of speculation and interest throughout recorded history.

thank you wikipedia.

so no seriously we have been talking about dreaming a lot lately- only because once Kenzie woke up and said that she saw grandma in heaven and she was with a friend...

so yesterday after nap time I was hoping for her to reveal some more of her dreaming juice. Children fascinate me...and I know they have this closeness to the spirit that can't be explained.

well Kenzie did have a dream during nap time.

She dreamt about a truck that helps people. A fire truck that goes weeoooo weeooo (siren sounds). And then the fire truck was falling and it broke. And the people couldn't be helped anymore.

hmmmmm not the kind of dreaming juice I was hoping for...counseling in a few years???

Monday, January 12, 2009

operation home

so someone once told me they don't clean their house because they don't like to...

Now I know there are a special few out there, but honestly who loves loves loves to clean their house? I mean is there really people who can't wait to dust and do the dishes?

So of course I would rather read a book, write a post on my blog (hint hint), make something, talk to friends, or sit on my couch and stare out the window in deep thought than clean the house- but some things just need to be done you know- no matter if I like them or not- it is kind of like brushing teeth, changing poopy diapers, sitting through sacrament meeting with crabby kids- things you kind of should or must do even though you don't like to- but sometimes I just don't want to!!!! I swear nothing puts me in worse mood than cleaning the kitchen.

If only I could be a little more like Giselle...

We have been a little "enchanted" lately around the house...and since Kenzie and I have both watched this movie probably 15 times since Christmas, I now know exactly how to get the family into the perfect house cleaning mood. I just clap my hands with a "alright everyone let's tidy things up!" and Kenzie will sing "A happy working sooooong!" Chay just rolls his eyes- (I've actually caught Chay humming this tune once- but don't tell anyone)

if only I could find a dress like that to wear...housework would be so much more fun

ok so for my new year's resolution I decided to try a cleaning schedule for 2 weeks- I am seriously forcing myself to do it for 2 weeks. No matter how much I hate it- I am going to see by the end of 2 weeks if I sort of get used to it- Every day in the morning for 45 minutes I will do normal everyday cleaning stuff like vacuuming, dusting, put away, organize, make beds, kitchen duties -and also in that 45 minutes- each day of the week- I will heavy clean one room in the house. So there is also bi-weekly, monthly, bi-monthly chores too- I presume I will edit my schedule as I go- so I will see...Each day of the week has a new color 3x5 card to put on the fridge in the morning...I am boring myself already.

you have to understand, this is so not me- most of you remember Joette and I shared a bedroom growing up. We shared a bed too. Her side of the room was completely spotless with shoes lined up color coordinated and her clothes all folded- and then there was my side- clothes and shoes not color coordinated but just all over the floor so you couldn't see the carpet- you can see why we didn't get along very well at times.

Mom always wished to get organized. She was an amazing cleaner and so am I- but we are both a little scatter-brained- I imagine Mom having very clear quick thoughts now and being able to process so much more- now that she is without her body for awhile...she is probably loving the spirit world. I wish I could know exactly.

ok so operation home here I go...

"Wasn't this fun?"

(if you haven't seen Enchanted yet- you is seriously so entertaining)

Friday, January 09, 2009


our founding fathers...not the most attractive men but still...

Ok so did you know you can learn a lot about parenting by studying the writings of the founding fathers- and the Constitution? I have yet a lot to learn.

But one thing I have learned from their writings is that these men were...well they were anti-enablers.

Our children shouldn't get bailed out from us parents.

The same way the banks and the car companies shouldn't get bailed out either...or the porn industry for that matter. yes you read that right

The reason why I believe so many of the younger generation is so supportive of the new pop culture socialistic views is because that was the kind of environment they were raised in. Kids these days just don't have to work for anything anymore. School, missions, money spent on sports, presents, cars, cell phones, gas money, clothes, I-pods- are all kind of handed over to them on a silver platter it seems. We can give to our children obviously...but on a silver platter? We are enabling our children...even with good intentions- we are still enabling them...and with that- gently forcing, manipulating, paying or guilt tripping our kids to succeed slowly takes away their moral reasoning.

When we enable a child,- growth like self reliance, agency, character, and the pursuit of happiness is interrupted- don't you think? Do we want our child to get an A in history or do we want him to love history and become fascinated in its stories and impact on the world. Do we want our child to get a degree or do we want our child to learn the value of education?...and sometimes that might mean paying part or all of school themselves or taking out a dreadful student loan. Sometimes learning the hard way is the only way...

I sometimes find myself enabling Kenzie...and when I finally realize it (sometimes it takes awhile- months sometimes) and will ask her for my forgiveness and then tell her she needs to sleep in her own bed...and if she wants a cookie she needs to dump the bathroom garbage first (really only because I hate dumping the bathroom garbage- but you see my point)Sometimes I enable her just by being in a bad mood and taking things out on is like I suck the good day right out of her- not fair!

ok so...the bailouts are going to wreck our country...they will only enable us and we will become more and more dependent on the government for help. We will lose the American fire to succeed, to learn from failure, to grow, to prosper, to be happy-

Companies can fail. Our children can fail. It will only make the success more rewarding. ...and you know I hate to fail...and I would love to be bailed out so I wouldn't have to deal with the yuckies of life- but what does that teach me? It only makes me weaker- walking with a crutch, preparing to fall again and again.

Sometimes I find myself misinterpreting the meaning of happiness saying- if only I had this, if only I could do that, if only my house was like this...then I would be happy. Essentially the government these days are misinterpreting it too by convincing us welfare, government power, bailouts, funding this, making laws for that will make us happy but they are only enabling us by taking away our God-given rights to choose, to self govern, to learn from our mistakes, to work hard- happiness is actually robbed when we are bailed out- don't you agree?

oh and nothing too relevant...but

"When all is said and done, America will understand that Michael Moore smells like pancakes." Glenn Beck

fight for freedom friday


Sunday, January 04, 2009

the girls

oh boy...another day of Kenzie growing up...

today was her first day in primary! Oh my...and of course Miss Sensitive freaked out when I put her in her chair with the Sunbeams. Since I am the primary secretary I decided to sit with her. Then class time came and another crying "don't leave me" episode. We said a prayer together and I left the room...and she did fine! My little big growing up.

Night time is actually going wonderful. She has slept through the night in her own bed for 3 nights now. She always resists the idea but after saying 10 prayers by her request, she is at east enough where she will fall asleep. It is a miracle! Tonight she asked Daddy for a blessing all on her own so she could sleep alone. We were so surprised. This is a bigger deal to her than we thought. But her faith...oh her precious faith- so touching to witness as parents.

and then there is crazy ju ju-

Saturday, January 03, 2009

it is time

ok so remember Rafiki? Yes the wise baboon on The Lion King. You all know he's the only reason why you watch the cartoon. Just admit it. Sometimes I will put the movie in and skip to just the Rafiki parts.

Well lately when it is time to do something, or go somewhere, or make a change- Joette and I will talk like Rafiki and quote his favorite line from the movie "it is time" you have to say it with his accent of course. "it is time" and you know if Rafiki says it- it is serious. that the holidays are officially over, it is time to to reclaim my health. No more excuses and no more ice cream.

So if you invite me over to your house for dinner or we go out to eat and I say no to dessert- or if I eat just the spaghetti sauce and not the noodles- just love me for it.

Tomorrow is the day I start my promise I have made to my body, to mom, to life.

Looking fine in 2009- who wants to join me????

"I know who you're Mufasa's boy" another favorite Rakifi line

Friday, January 02, 2009


fight for freedom friday once again-

ok so I was looking for some powerful quotes from our founding fathers to share today- and I couldn't find one more profound than this one by Benjamin Franklin:

"She laughs at everything you say. Why? Because she has fine teeth."
~Benjamin Franklin

they must have had horrible teeth back then

ok so seriously

I bought a book yesterday that I think all should own. It isn't very long at all- more like a pamphlet- but it was $8.00! goodness

anyway here is what the book looks like- I bought it a Seagull Book-

The book is called, "The Constitution, A Heavenly Banner" by Ezra Taft Benson- President Benson wrote this book while he was serving as the Prophet and President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. The book was published in 1987.

ok...this book is beautifully written. You can sense the author's love and concern for the country. President Benson illustrates how the country was founded upon God's principles and that the Constitution was "made only for a moral and religious people. It is wholly inadequate to the government of any other" (words of John Adams,2nd president of United States).

there is a lot of good stuff in the book...really puts things into perspective...and it confuses me how naive and uneducated people have become about the constitution...or even worse- how people don't even care what the founding fathers had to say.

ok so a favorite passage from the book: " the final analysis, people generally get the kind of government they deserve. To live a higher law means we will not seek to receive what we have not earned by our own labor. (bailouts anyone? redistribution of wealth?) It means we will keep the laws of the land (Senator Blagojevich?). It means we will look to God as our Lawgiver and the Source of our liberty. (abortion, same sex marriage, consequential punishment, moral agency?)" ~Ezra Taft Benson

Ok I added the stuff in parenthesis obviously. This was written 22 years ago. Benson didn't know Blagojevich at the time, $700+ billion bailouts to companies was unheard of, and the idea of taking money from the rich to help enable the poor was completely agreed to be called socialism...or was found in a nice story called Robin Hood.

Thursday, January 01, 2009

no more "arms?"

New Year's resolution #1

Tonight Kenzie didn't hold my arms while she fell asleep.

and it breaks my heart...

Ever since we moved into this home, I have been by Kenzie's side every night as she falls asleep.

Usually our bedtime routine is filled with talks, songs, snuggles, story time...a lot of the time I will just read something of my own and she will pretend to read her books.- And then when the light goes off she quietly says, "arms mom? Can I hold arms?" and she would rub my arms until she fell asleep.

Half the time we would just have her sleep with us- or we would put her in her own bed after she falls asleep- only to have her crawl into bed with us around 2 am.

I know- bad mothering- no discipline, no structure...I don't do a lot of things the "right" way...I am an emotional thinker more than a logical thinker...and so I kind of just live in the moment a lot...and I get myself into trouble or bad habits form...and at times it was very frustrating to lay down with Kenzie at night or have her wake up throughout the night...

but I wouldn't trade all those moments with her for anything in the world...I am so grateful I was mothering "wrong" because Kenzie is my first and I treasure our times together. I won't make this mistake again with my other children but I am still happy to have experienced it...

I'm such a softy. I am so sympathetic for her. I have told her for 2 weeks now that January 1st is when she will fall asleep on her own in Julia's room. Tonight she cried and cried her big alligator tears "Mommy, I want to lie down with you...I want to be with you mommy, Don't leave me Mommy" Chay then gave her a blessing. She wanted one. I told her a million times over that I loved her. But tears came to my eyes...and I suddenly felt this huge ache. I was already missing her. Kenzie kicked the door and screamed her guts out. Julia cried too. On the other side of the door I was a blubbery mess. Then after 5 minutes Kenzie stopped crying. I went into the bedroom and...she was asleep in her bed holding her teddy bear.

oh Kenzie- I love you so much. We will get through this together.