Thursday, August 20, 2009


it feels good to create.

so I inherited 2 sewing machines and a Bernina surger when Mom died.

I made a quilt once. Laurel project. 14 years ago. of course.

I think I made a skirt or started a skirt once and Mom finished it. of course.

I made stockings last Christmas. They turned out super cute. of course, they were stockings.

I tried to follow a pattern a couple months ago...2 dresses for the girls- screwed them up royally and called Aunt Linda to save me. Of course.

Sewing confuses me.

I almost feel this moral obligation to sew. Sometimes I want to. Sometimes I feel like I should emulate Mom and connect with her on some sewing crafty level...and sometimes I feel like I should use all her sewing stuff out of guilt- and sometimes I just let the machines sit in their place for months on months...with no desire whatsoever...

but when I do get the is sort of fun to make something...and I love the sense of accomplishment I get when I create.

When I sit down at a sewing machine I instantly get overwhelmed. My heart starts to pound- light sweat maybe... and I just wait for something to go wrong. After sewing a straight line for 30 seconds I can feel my shoulders getting tight..I get so intense. I sew really slow out of fear I will mess something up.

My thoughts while sewing: Come on April this is can do this...that is a scary needle... This is fun April. Just relax, breathe, oh my gosh my line is crooked, why is the machine making those noises??? now what???. Please don't run out of thread...please...I can't remember how to thread the bobbin...

Sorry Mom I am not a natural like you...I'm trying

About a month ago I had this crazy idea to re-vamp the master bedroom. It was disgusting. So I moved everything out into the living room and started on a much bigger project than ever anticipated. We are still 'living' in the living room- just for a heads up.

But I wanted to post pictures of my first ever sewn curtain/roman shades that I made for the bedroom. I am SO HAPPY with how they turned out. I only have one window done...but this is such an accomplishment for me. I had no idea how to make these...I just studied the roman shades at Lowes on display and looked up pictures online...but I feel I could maybe get better and better at this whole sewing/crafty world business.

look at that lovely mess...

Here is the process:

Drilling the holes for hardware

measuring and sewing

close up of the material

stringing it all together...and getting to finally use those wood beads from my 'back in the day' hemp jewelry collection...remember when hemp necklaces were the in thing????

those big chunky beads came in handy I tell you.

and here is the end product...I really do love these roman they are green...I can't get enough of green. green as the color not green as environmentally friendly...I would have to hang recycled plastic bottle material to have those kind of 'green' shades...for only $18 a yard.

my camera battery is dying as you can tell from the foggy pictures...oh how I dream of trashing that thing and buying a nice camera...until then....

have a great day.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

the lord's chips


Señor Ramon: What is this?

Nacho: Leftovers. Enjoy.

Señor Ramon: There is no flavor. There are no spices. Where are the chips?

Nacho: Somebody stole them.

Señor Ramon: Did you not tell them that they were the Lord's chips?

I swear that movie is therapy.

The other day I was eating some new chips I have never tried before...and I about died at first bite.

"Chay, I think I have found the Lord's Chips!!!!!"

These are amazing tortilla chips...just amazing. almost holy.

Monday, August 17, 2009

skinny cake

Kenzie woke up the other morning and kept asking if she could have some skinny cake for breakfast. I told her I'd like some skinny cake too if there were such a thing.

"Mom I want some skinny cake pleeeeeese!!!"

She was pointing to a loaf of zucchini bread sitting on the stove. skinny zucchini zucchini skinny... that is toddler cute I'd say

"oh...Skinny Cake...yes, of course...that is about nutritionally equivalent to starchy pancakes loaded with butter and syrup...what the heck."

We have uncomfortable amounts of zucchini this year as do most of you who made the mistake of planting more than one plant in your garden. So of course zucchini bread is on the menu several times throughout the week. I don't meal plan...but you know what I mean. I try not to eat a single piece of skinny cake because then I will be tempted to eat the whole loaf.

um...but I know why Kenzie calls it cake and not amazing recipe does not produce a bread taste...but that more of cake. yes, sweet yummy insulin rising good! Try it. Neighbors love it.

Skinny Cake
(a.k.a. Zucchini Bread)

3 eggs
1 cup oil
2-3 cups Zucchini (shredded)
2-3 teaspoons vanilla.

2 cups white sugar
1/2 cup brown sugar
1 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon baking powder
3 cups flour
3 TABLE spoons of cinnamon
1 teaspoon baking soda

Makes 2 loaves or 1 bunt cake. I personally like the look of the bread when it comes out of the bundt pan.

Bake 325 degrees for 60-70 minutes.

Friday, August 14, 2009


fight for freedom friday...ok so it has been forever since I have posted a ffff. I'm still here...still very informed...I just sometimes get into a really bad mood when I think about how weird everything is going in our country...

...when I turn on the TV and hear our president say things like, "I think those who make $250,000 or more a year have an obligation to help those too poor to afford health care" I cringe. Of course people should help people...but NEVER should they be obligated to or forced to by the government. NEVER.

"I predict future happiness for Americans if they can prevent the government from wasting the labors of the people under the pretense of taking care of them." ~Thomas Jefferson

A lot of what Obama says is really nice and fluffy. It is comforting and reassuring. But it is wrong. It really is. If the president came out one day and said everyone in the country had to be Christian. That would be wrong too. Same principle. CHOICE.

So when people ask me why I don't agree with our president, I simply say, "He goes against much of what our founding fathers stood for." and if you have read accurate history, you know there is no need for debate. I talked to this guy once through email that told me the Constitution could be intrepreted and adapted to a Socialism form of government. WHAT???? Have you read anything written by George Washington? James Madison, Benjamin Franklin? Do you know what the Federalist Papers are? I believe that President Obama has good intentions and true convictions in his belief/political system. He is passionate about his goals....but despite his good intentions, he does not represent what America was founded upon. He doesn't. When he said he wanted change. He meant CHANGE. A complete overhaul of what we stand for.

Whenever I go to Ross or TJ Maxx (I love those stores) I always see these decorative plates and framed pictures with Obama on them along with this quote underneath his picture: "Our Destiny is Not Written for Us, But By Us." I'm not quite sure I am liking that quote...although it is warm and fuzzy to hear I am are where we are today because of the God inspired men who debated over the whole summer of 1787 and designed the world's most influential life changing law of the land- which allowed men to prosper in and how they wished. The map has already been drawn for us, the environment of success is already here. Destiny of our future is praised and made possible by our founding fathers. In this country we can fail or succeed, we can learn from our mistakes, be uncomfortable in our poverty, try again, make better decisions, figure things out, grow financially and learn all because of the Constitution. Our destiny is ours by choice but made possible by the making of America 200+ years ago....

ok...I seriously had no intent on writing all that...

no cash for this clunker...

only cash in our pockets...

This jeep is our debt free clunker. It is used for a paper route and getting around town. It fits our family perfectly. Our insurance is cheap. Our lives are content.

Why would we ever trade in our evil gas hog car (we fill it up every 8 days or so-not so bad.) for a car that we would have to finance??? Aren't we supposed to avoid unnecessary debt? Trading in a perfectly fine driving car for a more expensive car? Ok so you get $4,500 dollars off a brand new car!!!! You are still probably in the hole 10 grand. After taxes and registration and full coverage insurance for a me...for the majority of us, we should just keep the clunker. Clunkers are cool.

Kenzie was a medicaid baby. Our income was $0 when she was born. I partially understand government welfare programs. If the government was so focused on helping those who are poor, they should take these perfectly fine driving cars and "distribute" them to those who really need them- instead of smashing them and giving the good parts to China. Yes China. Wait I thought we were on a "global effort" kick to save the planet!!!! But wait, we owe China billions and billions of dollars- in fact, China is the one financing this whole Cash for Clunkers ordeal- so we will have to save the earth later because we owe China first. China will gladly take all the perfectly usable car parts and use them in their economy like real capitalists should and the United States will continue to shovel out money to help save the earth...But China is on the earth too... It is actually a really big country on this earth. In fact China doesn't care about their carbon footprint. They also don't care about families and babies- and wow I'm not sure we want to see a nation that will kill babies become our number 1 source lender...nor do we want them to become more powerful than us...but...we have to get those gas guzzlers off the street- but we don't have any money to do it....CHINA???? Where are you??? Can you please help us????

Doesn't make sense.

Who needs cool clunkers? um well, High school students and college students who have fiscally responsible parents need clunkers. These parents want to teach their children fiscal responsibility believe it or not. "But Dad I only make $7 dollars an hour!" "Honey, let's go find you a real beauty!!!"

Who else needs clunkers? Get around town Moms need them (that would be me!) and used car salesmen and used car part lots need them to make a profit....and some of those poluting clunkers are actually really safe??? Those evil dirty outdated energy SUV's are actually the safest option on the road. They have saved thousands of lives. But who cares about human life...

We need non running clunkers...please don't smash them- so we can pull parts off them to keep our clunkers running. Some people still actually like to be frugal. Our jeep...oh our lovely jeep...such a nice has really adopted the philosophy of socialism..."the collective", "every car helping every other all cars will be equal"- our jeep has at least 30 parts screwed onto it, given so nicely by other jeeps. The only difference is that the other jeeps who gave their parts weren't FORCED to give them up and we actually had to buy those parts with money out of our own pockets. Both parties actually benefited. Imagine that. Both jeeps. Ours was fixed and the other profited....oh my gosh Capitalism is so messed up!

I know some people who cashed in on an Obamamobile. Be careful. Those welfare cars are not cheap. Someone is paying for them. And with the whole nation going crazy over free money- it kind of worries me. Who are we turning into? We are becoming so dependent on what the government has to offer. The Revolutionary War was not about life being fair for everyone, it was fought for freedom from an over powering government. In those days it was clear from their writings, people would rather work hard and deal with the ups and downs of life than have the government decide what is best for them. And since congress no longer believes in trickle down economics they do however believe in trickle down taxation...and trust me, at this rate, with everything passing like it is trying to do- we ALL will be paying more in taxes sooner or later- not just those corrupt hardworking rich people who make over $250,000.

seriously people.

The prophet and apostles have counseled us to get out of debt. Why would that not apply to government? Once you start to match up your principles with government policies- everything starts to contradict itself and you start to realize that so much of everything our government stands for is so much of everything we stand against...especially if we are rooted in morals and principles...and following the council of the prophet.

I love my clunker. I really do. I love how Chay worked so hard on it and I love how it means we are trying to be frugal and get out of debt. I love that Chay can haul his 4 wheelers with it and that I can hit a garage sale and fill up the back with found treasures like chairs and garage sales!

so keep your clunker dang it!

Thursday, August 13, 2009

wanna wanna

I really want to see this movie:

because I love Zooey Deschanel. She has my dream voice. Have you ever heard her sing? And I love her style.

and I really want to see this movie too:

only because I love Rachel McAdams...if I were a boy I would have a crush on her. Isn't she beautiful???

ok so I need a date to the movies.....with a boy, a man, my husband...I am as heterosexual as they come...for the record.

I just want to see some good movies...

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

august 11, 2000

happy anniversary family...

august 11, 2000- the day we were sealed for all time and eternity.

I am grateful now more than ever for that special day 9 years ago...

...what a sweet memory- all of us kids with Mom and Dad, kneeling together around the alter- never will forget...

thanks Dad for making it all you.

Saturday, August 08, 2009

2 years ago

***this entry was started on ju ju's b-day't get it done until today...

August 8th.

2 years ago today my life changed forever.

Julia Kaye Clark came into our world....

Oh my little Ju Ju how I love you.

You have been screaming ever since you came out of my uterus.

Beautiful birth...horrid baby. Love you. I really do.

Who are you? Who is that big spirit trapped in that little body? What are you going to teach me...or what more are you going to teach me?

As a 2 year old you are already so confident so bold so me channel it all for the good. You can be a fighter. You can be yourself, but oh how I pray all that strength is put towards building of the kingdom.

It is amazing how well you already know what you want. Oh love that it.

Don't love the high pitch screams and the crazy tantrums...

I love you so much. I love your curiosity. You are so full of life. I can't wait to see you in the morning. Your randomness keeps me watching you all day.

When Kenzie cries you always go grab your most favorite of all favorites blanket and give it to her. You have a laugh to die for...and sometimes as your mother I will do everything and anything to hear that giggle.

You are a hands-on type girl. Not very interested in being still for long.

You look nothing like Kenzie. Kenzie looks nothing like you. You are a mystery...a dark haired olive complexion mystery. I probably begged for you in the pre-existence.

Your glassy eyes are breathtaking. And where did you get your dimples? And your Louisiana birthmark? I think your huge birthmark is completely awesome. In the perfect place. Leave your mark Julia. Leave your mark on the world. You will be a legacy.

I love you so much. I love you so much more now than I did when you were first born. With prayer I have figured you out and now you are just addicting and entertaining and you don't bother me at all...I love who you are. I hope you will always love who you are.

Heavenly Father loves you.

Happy birthday.

thanks Tara and Niels for the birthday dinner!

Monday, August 03, 2009



need I say more.

I am completely fascinated with yoga. I feel it will be apart of my healing.

My first class was a couple months ago. When I sat down cross legged in that first class and started to breath deep...with my palms facing upwards, I started to...are you ready for this...I started to get emotional. I felt so strongly that I was doing exactly what April needed to be doing with her body. It felt so right, like I had found another clue to my healing search of those hidden treasures I tell you. (D&C 89:19)

So, for me personally, I feel greatly inspired, with my health in mind, to venture forth on the yoga experiment. Even though I feel greatly awkward in almost every pose I do...I am still learning...still learning.

My teacher is interesting. In the beginning of class while we are engaging in deep breathing, she usually will share some Yogi Wisdom. It is fluffy and nice and yet I feel there is a lot of truth to what she is saying. Today she talked about "growth" and "the whole world suffers when you stop growing" I have a real passion for eastern religion is all about becoming one with yourself. The only major part missing is that when you truly become one with God you naturally understand your worth...and so becoming one with God allows you to become one with self. Sometimes it is easy to leave God out of the equation with eastern philosophy. But studying world religion in college really opened up my learning experience and I began to see loads of new truth- out there just waiting for me to snatch up.

Today my teacher whipped out a C.S. Lewis book. My thoughts, "ok it is sort of dark in here but I swear the book she is holding is 'Mere Christianity'" And what do you know? teacher starts to quote C.S. Lewis- perfect. just perfect.

The words "heal, let the body heal" come to mind when I do yoga. And then again also the words, "I am going to lose all the circulation to my brain and my legs real soon in this pose...I AM BREATHING LADY!!!! Look at the sweat pouring down my me, I'M definitely living in the NOW. NOW let's change this pose QUICK!!!"

I know, all very funky for some- but I have been on a quest to truly understand the connection between body and spirit- and so therefore yoga just makes complete sense to this step in my life.

so yes to yoga.

I have changed a lot over the years. Janna do you remember when we were 18 or so and we went to a yoga class at 24 hour fitness in Liberty Lake and we laughed so hard we had to leave? We were like, "this is tooo much...I'd rather do kick boxing...did the instructor just say, "become one with the earth?""

times have changed...but I still love Billy Jean.

Saturday, August 01, 2009

mars vs. venus

I find myself at times dreaming and designing in my head 'my perfect back patio'. A clean quiet green place where friends and family meet. Stone, plants, trees, flowers...comfy chairs, candles...oh how lovely of a place it would be.

Then I go my present day back patio (if that's what you want to call it) and I think to myself...

"something is wrong here...someone's perfect back patio dream is coming true and... it is not mine."

so now I am starting to day dream about a perfect garage...a perfect place for such toys as you Chay...

and I love your (our) 4 wheelers...I even love the ones without sarcasm here.