Tuesday, December 30, 2008

white mice

Last week I bought a $200 dollar box of tampons...and they were even the Western Family Brand.

So my 1949 home is cute and small...and so are the pipes.

so the story goes...sucking up gallons of water with the shop vac...

The kind words of my husband, "Don't flush them down the toilet ever again" as we pulled up the linoleum floor in our newly finished laundry room.

My words, "I'll get the fan to air it out"

It wasn't the most pleasant learning experience-

The plumber's word, "beware of the white mice...they will do it every time"

I guess the Western Family brand isn't that bad after all. I would say their tampons are quite comparable to other brands when it comes to absorption.

Sunday, December 28, 2008


So my life is pretty out of control.

As I sit here on my computer, I look around at my house and oh my gosh- Can I hide? Can I light a match and start over please?

I never learned how to be on top of things. never did- nope-

My homework was always done at last minute, my bedroom was always a catastrophe, always forgetting important things, always losing keys

I wish I could trade my brain in for another one at times but then I'm afraid I would lose the other half of it that I kind of like...

But the thing is that I have great intentions and I've never given up trying to be organized- despite my many failed attempts...and my house is clean for a couple hours a day...most days

I have been in a serious rut lately. My ruts are usually only a day or two- but this time around it's like I'm hanging low and camping out for 3 months now-

...and my jeans are really tight right now which adds to the icky- The holiday calories have been extra nice if you know what I mean. Chocolate, cookies, and all those platters the neighbors bring over with all their pleasant varieties- and those of you who know me- are quite aware how healthy I usually am- this is how I know something is kind of not super ok with me- because everything I care about is kind of being left on the back burner as I try to figure out life again...and Ice Cream isn't a true friend by the way. It reminds me of a junior high friendship. shallow, fun for a little while,- left cheated in the end. back stabber

oh and it doesn't help that we just got a magazine in the mail with a huge picture of Eva Mendes staring at you on the front cover- thanks Eva.

ok so anyway- this year I started contemplating on Christmas Day about my 2009 year... and I have been thinking about it, writing about it, planing for it, preparing for it, and for these 7 days before January 1- I will solidify my goals and then I will attack whatever it is I need to attack- (I write in this book every night before I go to bed)

rough draft resolutions/goals for 2009

Get out of debt
Eat alkalined for the most part
Get in great shape--run a half marathon (unless my body says no-)
Keep a cleaning schedule for the house- meal plan
100% visiting teaching
Get Kenzie and Julia to sleep together in the same room- all night- without waking up
Stop nursing Julia-I know she's almost in nursery- what can I say?-I like to snuggle.

What are your goals????

Friday, December 26, 2008


Do you want to see my favorite Christmas present? I got teary eyed when I opened it. I really don't know why I am so tender hearted about the constitution- but I am. Chay bought this replica of the original constitution for me. It is made out of real parchment paper. Look how small the writing is! I can't wait to frame this-

Every Friday will be FFFF for here on out. Fight for Freedom Friday. If you are the least bit informed (and that doesn't mean just watching CNN) you will know that things are a little unsettling in the United States government (Bush included)...and unfortunately things are taking a dramatic turn away from our founding father's vision and idea of our country...and many are ok with that or many are just sort of comfortable with the changes- not really understanding what is going on- due to misinformation, media, pop culture, keeping up with the Jones', feeling deserving, wanting to be 'bailed out' instead of dealing with poor consequences- self discipline and self reliance has sort of disintegrated the last couple decades-

so...what are you going to do about it? I'm still trying to figure that out...but this is a nice start for April.

ok well...so anyway- happy ffff

Thursday, December 25, 2008

you'll always be remembered Mom

So since I am far far away on Utah's plains...

and since I didn't have the chance to spend Christmas with my dear family in Washington- because I have a 'lovely' paper route (this morning was horrible blizzard freezing- but I still managed to be festive enough to put a candy cane in each bag with the newspaper- it actually wasn't that bad- I sort of like the paper route in a twisted sort of way)-


I decided to write this little memoire tribute of Mom- so my family could read it out loud when they got together for the "gift to the Savior" this Christmas. For years as a family we have a tradition, where on Christmas Eve we decide on goals and promises to give to the Savior for that year- and we write them down and put them in a beautiful white stocking- to be read and reviewed the next year.

I feel a little dumbfounded at the moment- I don't know how to have Christmas without Mom- and the crepes were a flop by the way. And I think it is time to actually grow up and be a mom myself- Christmas with Mom was a wonderful crutch- I will admit that-

oh and this is going in Mom's book I am making:

Well it is our first Christmas without Mom.

It’s like Christmas without Santa or Christmas without Jingle Bells. Something just doesn’t feel right. For the rest of our lives now, I am sure, we will always feel like something is missing during this time of the year.

At least we don’t have to worry about everyone getting the wrong size of snow gloves from Costco- or finding gifts under the tree Mom forgot to label- or worse yet, opening a gift that belongs to someone else.

Remember Mom always saying around Thanksgiving time. “this Christmas is going to be different, we aren’t going to be spending that much money this year” only to find, come Christmas Eve, the presents stacked 4 feet high around the tree and making their way into the middle of the living room. Mom loved to give. Her heart would pass her logic during Christmas time as she made it as magical as possible for us.

And among all her gifts she gave, she made sure there were a few presents that would signify the true meaning of Christmas. Homemade pajamas, crafts made from the grandkids to give Calie, something she painted, something she had sewn- and now that she is gone, there is nothing more priceless than those few things that she has made with her heart and hands.

Mom created an atmosphere in our home during Christmas time that was full of peace and hope.

I remember her always wanting to drive around and look at Christmas lights. Once when I was very little, I remember her stopping the car in front of a small house that had a lit up manger nativity scene in the front yard. As a little family, she insisted that we all sing “Silent Night” together as we stared at the lit up figurines of Joseph, Mary, and Baby Jesus. That night is still vivid in my memory. At that moment, I knew somehow the real meaning of Christmas.

I’m not sure how Mom did it all- but she did. Despite the complaining and unwillingness from her family at times, she always gathered us together as a family to carry on traditions, to bear testimony, to say family prayer, and to remember the Savior always. She never gave up and was always certain what was most important in life. She lived for the gospel and we all knew it.

What are your favorite memories of Mom during Christmas time?

Well of course there were the 12 days of Christmas- and we all have some fond memories of doing that year after year- it was so exciting as kids for us to serve in this way. The miracle of it all is that Mom taught us kids even when we were little brats- how to think of others- always. Together, Mom made sure we prayed for the family Heavenly Father would have us serve that Christmas. And I think the only family that ever caught us doing the 12 days of Christmas to them was The Demars Family- only because Keith lost a shoe in their field and they brought the shoe the next day to church.

And obviously there’s the crepes and more crepes…and more crepes- I can still hear Mom’s voice “who wants another one? Here’s another one! Give me your plate”

One year while snooping in Mom’s closet, I found all of the presents Mom had bought me for Christmas that year. Well that night while in bed (I was sharing a bed with Joette at the time) I told Joette that I was very smart and that I bet I could guess every single present I was going to get that year. I began to rattle off exactly what presents I had seen while snooping in Mom’s closet. Well Mom was in the other room sewing and she so happened to be listening to our conversation. So on Christmas morning what happened? Well Joette and Bryon opened up all the presents that were originally for me- she must have read the expression on my sad face- she then said, “April- you were dishonest and you found all your presents- this is what happens when you snoop” I never snooped again…even to this day I close my eyes when I even think there might be a gift unwrapped in a bag or something- Mom taught me a huge lesson that year.

The kitchen was always a mess during the month of December. Mom was always baking something- like her sinful cinnamon rolls- Every year she had a huge list of friends who were lucky enough to get her cinnamon rolls- I attempt to make them every year but they never turn out the same- and then there’s the cheese ball- holy cheese ball. What is Christmas without the cheese ball?

Mom always made a huge dinner for Christmas- even the last years of her life she slaved away over delicious meals for her family. Oh what I would do for a meal made by Mom right now. The kitchen was always a happy place. Mom was always giggling about something. We all liked to crowd in the kitchen and just be near her as she cooked and baked her magic. Half the time we just watched her- she was such a comfort. -Although she would hit your hand with a spoon if she caught you picking at the food early. “Quit it!” or “get out of that!” she would snap- But Mom was guilty herself for sneaking a bite or two- especially uncooked pie crust-which I never understood- but she loved to eat that stuff-

Mom loved to decorate for Christmas. We have fond memories of sticking in John Denver’s Christmas album and decorating the house together. We would always be goofy and make fun of ancient old decorations. We always tried to get Mom to laugh. Mom treasured old dinky ornaments on the tree- and she loved her village she set up every year. She was also so thrilled about those heavy music pipe chimes- remember those? We barely could make it through a song but she just smiled the entire time- she loved having us be together.

A couple weeks ago, Joette dropped off all of Mom’s sewing stuff at my house here in Utah. As I rummaged through all the material and patterns, I found 5 sets of pajamas bottoms that were in the works of being made. Some were cut out, some were half sewn, - each set had a name written on them- Taylor, Alyssa, Ashlee, Isaac, and A.J. If I was a master seamstress I would have finished them for this Christmas- but I am still learning- but Mom had started these in the summertime…she was already preparing for Christmas time when it was still hot and warm outside. She loves her grandchildren so much.

We all know our goal every year was to have the gift for Mom that would make her cry…whoever got the tears running was the winner that year- Calie’s scrapbooks win by far. Mom was always so sensitive and emotional about the small and powerful things of life. It was easy to be grateful and spiritual when you were around her. She made things come to life- and everything seemed to make sense. Her testimony crowded out all fear and we knew God’s love would take care of us through any trial. Mom taught us about God.

Ever since I can remember, Mom had us place our stockings somewhere in the living room on Christmas Eve. We would wake up to stockings chuck full of surprises and some years there were even huge surprises next to our stockings like bikes and unicycles.

I don’t think we have ever own a store bought stocking. Mom’s homemade stockings mean so much to me now. I remember her always being so proud and excited to make another stocking to hang on her fireplace mantle as more grandchildren came into her life. Even when she was sick and exhausted, she still cut out and sewed Julia’s. I know she didn’t get around to making Ian’s this year- and we all know she would have if she had more time. So since I inherited Mom’s sewing stuff and found a stocking pattern designed by Mom herself, I decided to carry on the stocking legacy and make Ian’s for him this year.

And then there is the small soft white stocking that hangs in the middle of all the family’ stockings (symbolic in itself), which belongs to the Savior. Mom knew that our family needed the Savior to be the one true meaning of our Christmas…and she knew the Savior’s atonement is the only one thing that can make us truly happy. Mom started the tradition “gift to the Savior” some years ago and as the years have passed we have seen miracles and mercy come into our lives through the goals and promises we have made to the Savior at Christmas time.

I don’t think I could make it through these hard times with Mom being gone- without the Savior Jesus Christ. I miss Mom so much. So much it hurts and I am left with a big empty feeling most of the time- but I know that Mom’s greatest wish was that her children learn to lean on the Savior’s healing powers and mercy in their lives. When I am terribly sad, I think of Mom’s endurance and hope in Christ and I know – I know that through the Holy Ghost, Christ is the great comforter and peace awaits for me in this life as I continue to trust in Him. I wish I could see Mom. I wish I could talk to her and be with her- but I know we are an eternal family. I replay often in my mind that special moment when we were all kneeling together around the alter in the temple August 11, 2000- and I know we will all be together again someday.

Merry Christmas- love April

Ian- you can open your gift now!

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

a nice blog

so here is a nice blog: http://iheartaprileileen.blogspot.com/

thanks joette for thinking about me this Christmas...please keep updating especially Christmas morning and the crepes...and post a video of Dad opening gifts...and more pictures of the trees and the snow...will miss Mom...a lot won't we?

oh and if you are wondering about the boots on the front porch- they weren't staged- no- that is true blue daddy-o.

Monday, December 22, 2008

holiday cheer

I don't even own one Christmas CD...isn't that weird? I would rather listen to Glenn Beck than Chestnuts Roasting- that is pretty lame....I have tried with all I have to be in the mood this year-I am sort of there. Ok not really. kind of- depends- I'm pretty good at faking it- you know- making cinnamon rolls for the neighbors and all.

so here we are as a loving family frosting cookies together. Oh how lovely and wonderful it is to be in each other's presence and celebrating this remarkable season. This night was full of hugs and laughter. Traditions being made at their best. I should write Christmas cards.

I have read too many cheery holiday fluff stuff lately - I mean of course we all frost cookies together as a family but isn't there normally someone upset about something, some kid screaming their head off about something...and there has to be a little bickering about something, right?

Pictures are so deceiving:

I think a door was slammed a couple minutes before this one was taken

and a little "crap, I don't care, why do you always get to, I think you need a time-out, I am so tired of always cleaning up after everyone, when is it time for bed, these cookies are making me fat" right after this was taken:

Kenzie's cheezer says it all-

want a cookie? (that's for you Joette- a little inside joke)

Friday, December 19, 2008

fight for freedom friday

The Big FFFF Fight For Freedom Friday- lol or I was going to call this the Big FFF- Founding Father's Friday- because I have a treasure trove of amazing quotes from the Founding Fathers.... anyway- I've decided to dedicate one day a week to FREEDOM!

George Michael fans...you can keep singing.

ok so this is something I am very passionate and concerned about.

We are entering some scary times.

We are choosing security over freedom my friends...

We are letting go of everything this country was founded upon.

So- this is my small way of doing my part to protect our freedom...and in days to come I would like to do more and more-

...to be continued....

"From my infancy I was taught to love humanity and liberty. Enquiry and experience have since confirmed my reverence for the lessons then given me, by convincing me more fully of their truth and excellence. Benevolence towards mankind excites wishes for their welfare, and such wishes endear the means of fulfilling them. These can be found in liberty only, and therefore her sacred cause ought to be espoused by every man, on every occasion, to the utmost of his power. As a charitable, but poor person does not withhold his mite because he cannot relieve all the distresses of the miserable, so should not any honest man suppress his sentiments concerning freedom, however small their influence is likely to be. Perhaps he “may touch some wheel,” that will have an effect greater than he could reasonably expect. . . ."

John Dickinson
Letters From a Farmer in Pennsylvania
to the Inhabitants of the British Colonies

It is amazing how people craved liberty back in those days...it is even more amazing to the total contrary how people could really care less today...unless Oprah said something about it and then they might care for an hour or so- (she wouldn't know what she was talking about anyway)

oh and if you are pro-life you really really need to click HERE and sign the petition to fight FOCA- The Freedom of Choice Act. And please watch the video to the left- and understand why this man makes me nervous.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

miracle #2

So while I believe that blogging is a great way to focus on what is good and grateful in life- I can’t lie and say that all is cheery and jingle belly with me this time of the year. It kind of almost stinks most days and I am having a hard time dealing with Mom being gone. I can’t believe there are millions of people out there who lose love ones to death every day. How is the world doing it?

So while wishing Mom didn't feel so far away this Christmas season, miracle #2 happened:

First of all many years ago before I was even born, Mom took a ceramic class. In the class she oiled rubbed/painted a nativity scene. All growing up we used this simple nativity scene at Christmas time. I remember playing with it endlessly as a kid. I even remember Mom telling us the story of Christ's birth as she held up each piece and explained what they meant. I remember we somehow lost the baby Jesus- so He was replaced- with a plastic baby from our doll house- so amongst all the white antiqued ceramic nativity characters there was this rather large baby- a bright yellow shiny plastic baby Jesus. Mom later expressed its appropriateness- "Well we won’t forget who the most important person of the season is will we?" The baby is rather large and compared to Mary's size- He's a little scary.

Well as years passed Mom was given another nativity scene- a big huge gorgeous one from Costco (everything big and good is from Costco) and so when I was in high school she packed up the ceramic nativity scene she made and never used it again.

ok this will tie in- I promise

When I was about 10 or so, I found a box of salt and pepper shakers in my Mom's closet. Mom told me I could have the collection if I take good care of it- many of the salt and pepper shakers were old and had been passed down from her parents and grandparents. I decided to continue on with the collection and so for 3-4 years Mom and I got all “thrift store” giddy as we searched for rare and unique salt and pepper shakers. Well time passed, as it always does, and soon I wasn't so hot about salt and pepper shakers anymore. I was getting interested in other things and so eventually I packed up all my collection, labeled the boxes, and hauled them around with me for the rest of my life- until a week ago.

About a year ago, I finally came to know one of my mom's siblings. Her name is Aunt Linda. She lives near me. She is the aunt I have always wanted-especially growing up as a little girl. Mom's sickness kind of helped us get to know each other- Now I would say we are pretty close- close enough to where we eat dinner at her house a lot and I can tell her to her face "there is no way Chay is eating peas so don't even think about it"- that kind of close-if you know what I mean.

well I noticed when I was at her house for the first time that she liked to decorate with salt and pepper shakers. She had them everywhere. I thought of the boxes of salt and pepper shakers in my basement rotting away and I knew she would just love to have those- especially since many of them were from her parents and family. But I selfishly thought, "those salt and pepper shakers were given to me by Mom...and they remind me of her"

well time passed again and something inside me changed and I decided that the salt and pepper shakers needed to be loved and appreciated...and out of my basement. so one day last week I just up and gave the boxes of salt and pepper shakers to Aunt Linda- and she was so thrilled. As I was helping her unwrap each set from old newspaper, a ceramic camel fell into my hands. I kind of did the gasp thing. Joette was with me. "Is this a camel from our old nativity scene? I must have packed this up for Mom...like 12 years ago!" As we searched through the crumpled up newspaper, we found more and more pieces of the nativity scene...and then we found the manger...and then of course the bright yellow plastic baby Jesus.

Finding this nativity scene was a miracle to my aching heart. It was an unexplainable connection to my mother who I miss so very much. Joette and I started to cry of course. We held some of the ceramic pieces in our hands and our minds traveled quickly back to childhood- and to those many Christmases Mom made so special for us year after year. In our tears, I turned one of the ceramic pieces over (I think it was Mary actually) and simply engraved on the bottom were the letters 'EDK'. Every single piece had my mom's name engraved on the bottom. My mom's name is Edie Kaye but she always signed her art work 'EDK'. I felt my mom’s love and presence at that very moment. It was her Christmas gift to me this year.

So it may not be the nativity scene and manger I would normally pick to decorate with but it is so beautiful to me in many different ways- I just cherish it. I really do.

Thank you Mom.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

dear kenzie

Dear Mckenzie,

I can't believe you are 3 today. ok nevermind yes I can- You are everything 3. -moody, sincere, bratty at times, loves to snuggle, loves books, bosses everyone around, is quite familiar with 'time-out', sings I am a Child of God throughout the day, loving, stomps in mud puddles with your brand new shoes, colors on the table, rearranges Mom's cupboards, cries at the drop of a dime, loves to pray, pretends to be holding baby Jesus, likes your feet to be rubbed..."with lotion please"- yes you are 3- and we love it- all of it- our little girl.

Sometimes I just stare at you and I say a silent prayer that I may know how to allow every bit of your light get out and shine. I pray I don't hinder any potential you may have. I love (mostly) spending the long days with you. Thank you for coloring with me, helping me cook dinner for Daddy, doing puzzles together, and for just being near me throughout the day. Thanks for sitting in bed with me before nap time while I read my books and you read yours. I love those moments.

Last night Daddy asked me if he could rub my feet. You were laying next to me in bed almost asleep. Before I could say "yes" to Daddy you beat me to it and said, "yes Daddy...with lotion please" It was pretty funny. Your daddy rubs your feet a lot. He loves you so much. He said last night, "oh my- Kenzie is getting pretty" As parents we both got a worried look on our face- oh dear

The other night I was trying to explain to you that you were my daughter and that Daddy was my husband. You cried and cried and said, "I want to be your husband" I further explained that I married Daddy in the temple and that's when he became my husband. You were having a rough time, "I want to marry you in the temple Mommy!"

It is so interesting to hear you express all the love you have one minute and the next you scream at your little sister and tell her "BE QUIET RIGHT NOW!" Is this a reflection of me? Oh probably. I am sorry for being out of control at times and for getting upset over silly things. As your mother I am really trying to get better. Let's be patient with each other ok?

My greatest gift I want to give you Kenzie this birthday is a whole lot better than that cheezy floor puzzle I bought at Ross (I hope you'll like it by the way)- The greatest gift I can ever share with you is my testimony of the Gospel. I know Jesus Christ lives and that through Him is the ONLY way we can be truly happy. I know Joseph Smith saw God the Father and His son Jesus Christ that Spring morning in 1820- which means that God still talks to his people, still cares about us here on earth- and that He will never change and His truth is everlasting. The same church that Jesus established on the earth so many years ago has been restored. It is the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day saints. I cannot doubt this for I know it with all my heart. The members of the church are far from perfect and they might even hurt your feelings from time to time but put your faith in the Gospel and its perfect teachings and your compassion for others will grow and you will grow too...in a more Christ-like way. And as you get older Mckenzie, you will probably be made fun of, ridiculed, and those who you thought would never hurt you- will disown you for the truth which you proclaim. The world will continue to be more accepting to those things the Lord's people have known for ages to be wrong. But with a burning testimony that is nourished with prayer, service, and obedience you will fight and be strong...and I will too- as a family we will do all we can to honor and sustain the fight for truth- for the spirit has testified it to our hearts and no other conviction could ever be stronger. This I know.

Wow- didn't know that would all come out but I guess it did! happy birthday sweetheart.

With Love, Mommy

Tuesday, December 16, 2008


wreath has got to be one of the weirdest words- wreath wreath...say it 4 times in a row really fast...I feel almost a little impaired when I say it- it's a word that actually gives you the ok to speak with a lisp. wreath- and is definitely a word the Brazilians would slaughter- the whole 'th' thing doesn't exactly roll of their tongue too easily.

ok so here is my Christmas wreath I put together a little while back...I am sort of proud of it. It took me awhile to be confident enough in it- I stared at it all the time...and then suddenly I decided I really liked it- plus joette and janna liked it too- and so it was good to go after that.

this is a before-

the camera isn't doing this thing any justice-

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Christmas without Mom and miracle #1

I think bread is taking the place of Mom in my life.

yes bread, and those uncooked tortillas from Costco (fried to perfection), and those mint dark chocolate 3 musketeers- have you had those? oh my gosh- close to perfect.

so I'm sure on some subconscious level I'm trying to eat my mom back to life...

Death is sort of weird. I still can't grasp it. I just can't. But food on the other hand is quite attainable and very understandable...and why deal with life when there's pumpkin chocolate chip cookies to be eaten...and enjoyed for that matter-

ok so anyway- Memories of Mom are still so vivid. Her voice is still fresh in my head like I talked to her yesterday. (it doesn't help that it's her voice on the voice mail when I call home to talk to Dad...I always say in my head "Dad please pick up- please pick up- I don't want to hear Mom's voice- not tonight anyway)

With each different part of me trying to cope, I go through several phases of surviving and mourning Mom's death- sometimes I just want to honor her, sometimes I want to go to the temple to feel close to her, sometimes I pretend to talk to her, sometimes I want to cook like her, sew like her, create like her, write like her, laugh and be friendly like her- sometimes I just want to make her proud of me, or sometimes I want her to feel guilty for leaving me (ouch), sometimes I am mad, sometimes I am really hurting, sometimes I don't care and I go a whole day without her even crossing my mind...until I try to go to sleep that night-and then I have these million and one thoughts of Mom and they won't go away. I swear she haunts my thoughts.

Women in general are really fascinating. Can you imagine what Christmas would be like without women? What man likes to wrap gifts with bows, sing Christmas songs at random times during the day, make gingerbread houses for fun- without being forced by guilt? What man likes to put up the tree, hang stockings, frost cookies, and go caroling?- (unless there is a snowball fight and donuts and hot chocolate somewhere in the mix-) Women are creators and tradition makers- Wholesome Christmas memories are embedded in our minds mostly because of women- mostly because of mothers.

So how does one deal with a motherless Christmas?

So I have tried all I can (on good days) to emulate Mom- and get excited like she got during Christmas. I got the tree up the first week in November (it is my way of erasing anything to do with Halloween) and I got the Christmas song book out and put it on the piano. I made a wreath for my kitchen wall (will post pictures later) and...I am trying to think of some traditions- I will make Mom's cinnamon rolls again for the neighbors- but mostly every tradition I've had included going home to Spokane and having Mom take over the show. What is Christmas without Mom?- I mean honestly.

I am attempting to make stockings. Mom sewed our stockings and they mean so much to me now- so I figure I better do the same- plus I want to learn how to use that wretched machine...it even smells like Mom. I can thread the needle just fine- it's the bobbin (spell check?)spool on the bottom that always gets me confused- and so I would always always ask Mom how to do that part and she would laugh as she explained it to me for the 100th time.

Joette dropped off Mom's sewing machine and surger last week, plus a whole bag full of patterns. For 2 weeks now I have been searching for a free Christmas stocking pattern (I'm sort of in 2nd grade when it comes to sewing) and a couple days ago I decided to go through the bag of Mom's patterns- and there right on top was of course-a stocking pattern Mom had made herself- with a piece of paper included- all in Mom's beautiful handwriting, written step by step how to sew a Christmas stocking- written so even a 2nd grader could understand it. miracle #1

Thanks Mom- So I guess you're sort of around after all this Christmas.

Saturday, December 13, 2008

Mrs. Taylor is 29

emily ann tayor- is there an 'e' at the end of ann? Shouldn't I already know this? oh and I totally stole this picture off your blog. The internet can be disturbing at times wouldn't you agree?

Ok well happy birthday to you. Today I was in the car listening to this song that totally reminded me of you and our road trip days-

I wanted to scan in some pictures from the good old days- like when we attempted dressing up as the Charlie's Angels for Halloween- but maybe I will do that next year when you aren't pregnant anymore- there isn't anything more depressing than looking at pictures of the past- when you are big and pregnant and feel that all fresh and pretty has dropped off by the wayside somewhere...plus you will be 30 next year- it will be good redemption time to pull out the pictures when we were in our 20 prime.

ok so Emily. I honestly don't feel more comfortable with anyone like I do with Emily. She is kind of hard to explain- but she is real, honest, opinionated, caring, thoughtful, expressive, informative, stable, funny, real funny, great tasted, and my greatest friend on earth.

She likes to talk you know...and she is easily entertained...and sometimes I feel so incredibly lucky to have landed such a cool friend.--yes very cool...and rad. I love it when I don't have to work at friendships- they just come naturally and there is never an awkward moment- well awkward experiences together indeed but never feeling this way towards one another.

She has put me in my place more than once. She isn't easily persuaded- and well I just really like her- I like talking to her- she knows a lot about me and she still likes me. She is very patient and loving through all my ups and downs- and all the little fazes I get myself into.

Emily is pregnant- hence the picture. She will be one of the most fantastic moms of all time- I kid you not. Her children will be reading novels at age 4 and performing at the bluegrass festival while preparing to serve missions and earning their young women recognition awards...and they will obviously have dynamic personalities like their mother...and father (I guess I will include you too Greg)

happy birthday Emily. Rock on 2000.(that is starting to get lame...but Brock is still hot)

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

book signing

ok...so let's continue on with last Saturday's happenings.

um so the book signing was out of control. I would say Glenn Beck probably signed 1000 books that day. Here Joette and I are asking the worker lady for another Christmas Sweater book. Deseret Book was jammed pack full of die hard talk radio Glenn Beck lovers. There was for sure a certain energy floating around Deseret Book that day. Everyone was holding the red and white book- some were even holding 5-6 copies to be signed. The book signing line wrapped around the store and out into the mall. But then occasionally you would find someone with their eyes wide open wandering around the store looking at all the people saying "Who is Glenn Beck? Should I know who this guy is?"

Ok so Glenn Beck arrived at Deseret Book to be greeted by a round of applause. He picked up a portable intercom thingy (what is the correct word for those? You know those loud speakers life guards use?) Anyway he was very humbled by the large crowd. He spoke sincerely about the state of our country. He warned us of how bad things are going to get economically. He told us he loved Utah and the people of the Valley and that members of the church will be tomorrow's leaders. (I am paraphrasing big time) He got emotional- he always does. He asked that we would pray for his family and he wasn't sure how long he would be allowed to express his feelings on the air. He also said that love and forgiveness is the only way we can survive in this country. He said he hopes he doesn't make people become haters of the democrat party but to remember the government has corruption on both sides. As time goes on both parties will continue to ignore the constitution and the government will continue to grow bigger and bigger. He said also that he has spoken to several senators and congressmen who believe that Joseph Smith's prophecy that the constitution will hang by a thread in the last days is happening right now...and that we need to unite not divide with our fellow Americans in love and righteousness and to protect our rights. He said a lot more but I can't really remember at the moment. But it was all good and warm Beck stuff.

Here I am waiting...almost my turn! So when it was finally my turn to get my books signed I got so dang excited!! I said, "Brother Beck!!! It is so nice to meet you. I just want to tell you thank you for what you do. I listen to you all the time and I believe a lot what you say is true. I get it. I get it. (He always says on the air that he wishes people could just "get it") He was smiling of course and sort of chuckled at my "Brother Beck!!!" He said thank you back and said, "will you please pray for my family" and I said, "yes"




Posted by Picasa

and that was it...nothing too special- but I couldn't stop smiling! I met Glenn Beck!

It was great to see all the people out there who are passionate about their country in a Glenn Beck sort of way- I now feel like there is a army out there stronger than I had imagined. Many people are ready to move forward with doing what is right, standing up for our beliefs, protecting our country from the inside out.

So I love love Glenn Beck. I think he is really funny. And funny people are like April magnets. I love how he tells the truth. He doesn't favor anything except what is right...and I admire him. His conversion story is powerful too. I actually wanted more from the book- more juice- more drama- more dragged out change stuff...but I think it is quite perfect for those out there who have never really understood the atonement and who have no clue how to escape their yuckies. I absolutely love the influence Glenn Beck has on those who are outside of the church.

But on the way out of Deseret Book, I noticed a book on the shelf. No one was buying it. I kind of just had this little tiny thought way down that something was a little off...

I saw the new book by the apostle Elder Jeffery R. Holland "Broken Things to Mend" and I knew that whatever was written in that book covered what the Christmas Sweater had to offer plus 100 times more...and suddenly I wished in my heart that thousands of members were lined up to buy that book also...or instead.

so hint hint Santa...what a good book to have on my dresser next to my bed...hmmmm

JANNA!! Thank you for being our personal professional photographer and getting every shot possible of glenny.

Saturday, December 06, 2008

or I could say

or I could say to Glenn Beck today

"You sign my book and I'll wear your Christmas sweater"


I am so excited to see him today. This is like meeting Brad Pitt for me. ok that is a bad comparison but you know what I mean.

AHHHHH and then Joette, Janna and I are going to Ikea for some Swedish meatballs.

Wednesday, December 03, 2008

glow meter

I found my wallet. Well I didn't find it, but it is no longer lost.

I prayed that honest hands would find it and lucky lucky me- some high school student found it in the Burley High School gym and turned it in with nothing missing. I love honesty!

It was that darn Farm Craft Sale I tell you. Thanks Marne and Tiff for being concerned and for helping me look for my wallet.

I lose a lot of stuff. dear me

So...I love love love to listen to Glenn Beck. I am now trading my Oprah time for Beck time and trust me- it is a lot more fulfilling. Nice ssssswitch April!
And I get to meet him this weekend- at his book signing.

I can argue with Rush Limbaugh- he just seems stressed you know? I picture him sitting in his studio sweating profusely as he thumbs through all his papers. He is so full of democratic hate that it's just so exhausting-

and Sean Hanity makes my blood curl the way he interrupts everyone all the time- and he yells...all the time- so I could care less if I agree- I rarely watch or listen to either Rush or Sean...

...anyway but Glenn Beck is just different- He is very funny for one thing and I swear he tells jokes that only him and I get -ok I know he makes other people laugh too--but I just love his humor- and I also feel that he is right. He speaks a lot of truth. I can feel his purpose in this world on a far larger scale than just a radio/TV show guy. With my little pockets of discernment I would say Glenn to be a sincere real good person. I have a glow meter and it says he glows. Have you noticed this before in people?

I am sure many of you disagree about Glenn Beck- but...really?? really??

Chay glows too. I know when people glow. LOL- ok so

So what should I say to Glenn Beck when I see him this weekend? On the paper route I sometimes pretend to have conversations with people. Do you guys do this too when you're alone? So this morning I was thinking of the perfect one sentence to say to Glenn Beck as he signs my book...

um...how about

"what's up Glenn?" ok that's retarded

"Do you know you have nice eyes?" oh my, who will give me money if I say this?

with American Flag in hand, "I have the first 10 lines of the constitution memorized. Do you want to hear it?" ok I am just being funny obviously- but I think he would be impressed.

How about just a

"thank you for defending the constitution, standing up for what is right, not being afraid to talk about religion and God in the media, calling out on what republicans and democrats are doing wrong, helping those who have forgotten what freedom means and for reminding us that hatred gets us nowhere." ok I obviously won't have time to say this- and I will probably just get giddy and nervous and politely smile as he signs my book.

I am so excited. Who wants to go with me?

You should really listen to

and watch this

and part 2

and I know most of you don't have time and you are cruising through your blog reading as fast as you can but oh this is another good one.

Tiffani- here is another one for you

My favorite line from this clip "I don't care if there is Kool-Aid down in the basement, I'm drinking it"

Tuesday, December 02, 2008

Elder Joseph B. Wirthin

I can't believe Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin passed away. He was my mom's favorite. Every time an apostle dies I get this "oh my gosh- our world will miss your strength" feeling.

I know it is all a part of the plan. I know the apostles are called of God. They were prepared for us to lead us and guide us in these last days. I know there is another faithful servant who will soon be called to the quorum of the twelve. I am so grateful that the Lord's work is continuous and forever the same. We will miss you Elder Wirthlin. I will miss your words.

Here is an excerpt from a talk he gave at BYU-Idaho when I was attending school there. I will always remember this talk and how I felt he was talking directly to me:

"If you have ever felt inadequate, if you have ever felt that you don’t have the inherent capacity of others, if you have ever felt that no matter how hard you try, you are never good enough, I have a word of advice for you.

Your life is not a race.

You are not competing against anyone else for entrance into the presence of our Heavenly Father.

The plan of salvation is not a reality show where you have to beat out other contestants to win.

I have more good news. As long as you seek to grow closer to your Heavenly Father and your hearts and spirits are contrite - as long as you repent and strive in faith to overcome weaknesses - you will be rewarded by our Heavenly Father.

Our purpose in this life is to fill our minds with all truth and our hearts with the Spirit of the Lord that we may become more holy and, more like those great souls who preceded us. As we learn and apply the principles of the Gospel in our lives, the atonement of the Savior will cleanse us of iniquity enabling us to live in peace and righteousness in this world and in glory throughout the worlds to come.

Our task is not in one day to become perfect, but to grow a little more perfect every day. Even if it’s only a small step, the important thing is that we keep walking forward, each day getting a little closer to our glorious destination." ~ Joseph B. Wirthlin

“A More Excellent Way”
Brigham Young University-Idaho
Man of Excellence Fireside
February 13, 2005

My favorite line in this talk was: "The plan of salvation is not a reality show where you have to beat out other contestants to win."

I hate reality shows

HERE is his last conference talk "Come What May, and Love it."