Saturday, April 07, 2007

chaos theory

Why is the honey in with the cleaning supplies?
Kenzie, I don't think Dad's power drill is a good toy.
I swear I had more diapers, didn't I see them under the sink?
I wouldn't eat that triscuit if I were you. Where did you get it anyway?
You want some ice cream? Go get it- the fridge is out on the back porch.

Yes, these are all true statements- all derived out of living in chaos for a week.

We are living out of boxes for the time being as we patiently work hard to finish the hardwood floors. Every day is a digging session in search of that one particular item I swore I wouldn't need for a while. Unable to unpack, unable to undue a big mess, unraveled I have become. A little frazzled wishing to unfrazzle to say the least. Understand?

With high dreams and hopes of uncovering layers of carpet and linoleum to rediscover the original hardwood floors of our new 1949 home, we blindly entered full force into quite the situation. Planing on a 3 day project has stretched out to a week now with no real end in sight. Chay has scraped and scraped his brains out. A light at the end of the dark tunnel shined brightly as Emily and Greg called and offered to help. Not once, not twice- but 4-5 nights they drove a great distance to help. They're our heroes. They're our motivators. They were the only help we had. Then Jeff came. His arrival somehow gave us that extra boost to believe we can actually get this done someday.

The first night in our home we were tempted to rent a hotel. It was cold and we were without heat or hot water. The master bedroom was off limits with the carpet tore up. We slid our mattress into Kenzie's room. No crib. Late. Exhausted. I thought I was going to cry myself to sleep. I was stressed, freezing, tired, dirty, and displaced. Chay reassured me it was all going to be ok. And you know- it was ok. The three of us all cuddled together on the mattress. Kenzie fell asleep quickly from the long day, knowing no matter where she is, her family is her home. We woke up the next morning all together and I felt at peace. Until I walked out of the room of course- but the opposition and craziness all makes this experience real and- better yet we as a family are becoming closer. Chaos Theory.

When snow melts it travels all over the mountain in little streams. It is quite "chaotic" how the water finds its way down the mountain. Eventually the majority of the water ends up in bigger streams, then of course the rivers to the lakes, to the oceans, a perfect journey. From a larger perspective nature's course is structured and flawless. Yet on the way it can be quite messy and unpredictable and yet it all seems to work out in the end.

Eating dinner on the living room floor, living out of boxes, and all sleeping in the same room can seem a little hectic and it is- but really in the end relationships are strengthened and memories created. Even fights and bickering end in apologies and stronger communication. When things go hay wire, there is a motivating force somewhere within to retrieve the once comfortable homeostasis of living. Because of trials, disorder, arguments etc- we are given the chance to change, learn, grow- a lot more than if we didn't have the upset to begin with.

I figure sleeping with Mckenzie has helped her safely adjust to the new home. Cooking with only a microwave has caused me to be creative. Trust me- this is hind sight knowledge here- I still complain, I mean I'm normal.

We took off the ugly swan etched doors on our bath tub. There was a bunch of caulking to be removed. I sat there with a razor for two hours gently trying to remove the caulking without scratching the tub. Chay sat on our padded old toilet seat and talked to me almost the whole time. Now honestly who wants to remove nasty shower doors and who wants padded toilet seats? But you know, it is all adding tiny levels of thickness to mine and Chay's relationship. It is all worth it- I grudgingly say with a smile. It is all worth it? Yeah, I guess it is.

Friday, April 06, 2007

bye bye bountiful

We moved. After 4 years of apartment jumping, we finally graduated to first time home buyers. So as I packed, wrapped, stuffed, labeled, and made endless trips to the store, I reflected on the little yet busy town I have lived in the past year.

Everywhere you go, are, stand, drive, play, ect. in Bountiful-just look to the east and there is the sweetest reminder of God's perfect plan. The Lord's temple sits high on the mountain for all to see. You can't miss this beautiful edifice- it stares at you right in the face. I will see it when I'm driving home from shopping and I'll think..."am I doing what I should be doing? Were my purchases unnecessary? Oh how I need to go to the temple!" Either motivated out of guilt or gratitude, members of the church in Bountiful are blessed to be reminded daily of their great treasure, the temple- They are reminded the minute they walk outside their homes and look towards the mountains.

I will miss the Bountiful Temple-

Not once but twice I have been stuck in a rain storm or hail storm when out on walks with Kenzie. Not once but twice during these storms has someone stopped in their car and offered me a ride home. Sound a little scary?- oh not really- you've got to meet these people.

Well that is all I will miss to be frank. Oh and I will miss Chay being home at 6. He now commutes amost 2 hours at night on the bus. Pray he finds a transfer in Ogden!!

I have moved so much the past 10 years that I no longer get emotional or sad when I leave a ward, area, apartment- but I have decided to really open my heart to people this time around- I actually went on a walk and talked to 2 neighbors! I even went over and borrowed hand soap and a cutting board from my next door neighbors! Good job April.
New Chapter.