Sunday, December 27, 2015


Xander told us tonight he wanted to serve a mission in Lego Land. That boy melts my heart. He is darling. He had to draw a picture in primary today of things he treasures. He drew a picture of me wearing green because green is my favorite color. He told me this in his sweet kind sincere voice. He is full of kisses and hugs.

The kids have been in bed for a couple hours. Went upstairs to check on things and all 4 of the kids were on the bottom full bunk sleeping sideways on the bed. The boys were fast asleep and Mckenzie and Julia were chatting away like best friends. It made me so happy. Everything about it.

I somehow am a mother of 5 children. My life unfolded into a mother- always knowing from the time I was young I would have children- but my life unfolded into this unexpected surrounding of love, little people, comfort, purpose.

Friday, December 11, 2015


The eyes-They say so much. little but big heart. So kind and gentle. Always thinking of others. The scar. Childhood. Boy.

Xander Chay melts my heart. His smile and tenderness.

Every morning without fail he always says "Do you want to hear my dream, Mom?" He loves to hug and give kisses. He is so gentle with Alice.

 According to his teacher he is obedient and respectful. Mrs. Hansen. She told me that Xander is always cleaning up and helping even though he's not asked. She wishes she could have a whole classroom of Xanders.

Xander at 5. He loves Alice, his big sisters, and singing. He loves to craft, draw, and color. He is tender and wants a lot of love and attention. He is classic for interrupting me when I'm talking to someone else- he just loves to tell me stories. He loves it when I play "Horsey Horsey go to town" with him. Oh how he giggles and laughs.

This picture was taken the first day of Kindergarten at Bravo. Everyday when I drop him off at his classroom door he tells me he loves me over and over. He waves and waves. "I love you Mom. See you soon Mom, I love you. Bye Mom." It's basically the best thing ever.

fall 2015

October Eves

The beauty of fall never gets boring. My goodness. It takes my breath away. And I mean literally and not just figuratively. Or that wasn't meant to be rhetorical or a figure of speech- I mean I sometimes gasp, losing air-. Sucking in air and making a weird noise and not breathing for a quick second because the huge mountains are covered in fire red trees. There is mist hovering above a yellow meadow. Orange, red, yellow, green trees all mixed together- I swear, It makes quite the take-my-breath-away scene. I love it. I really do. I am a sucker for this time of the year.

I took the kids up to Snowbasin ski resort to see the colors of the trees. We met up with Tara and Niels and their cute family and Tiffani and Olivia. The colors weren't nearly as vibrant as they could be but it was still beautiful. I think we missed the colors by a couple weeks. The kids enjoyed hiking around a little until Kenzie tripped and fell and put a big hole in her knee. It was pretty gross. Luckily Uncle Neils had a first aid kit. Kenzie was pretty tough. I played around with the idea of stitches for the rest of the day but I am so sick of medical bills. The wound is healing pretty well and scabbing. I know for a fact my mom would never take me to get stitches in the 80's. We would just have an awesome scar and in fact I do- On my knee. I was 8 years old and I thought I could stand on the middle bar of my bicycle. Didn't succeed.

Our tree has dropped all our leaves and while for some this means an annoying extra chore to do in the fall, I look forward to it. The children have played and played in the big piles of leaves. They have raked them several times and just mess up the piles again. I love our big tree in our backyard. Thank you Heavenly Father for that big strong tree. The tire swing hanging from it's strong branches, the perfect shade it provides in the summer, the fun memories of jumping and playing in its leaves. Perfect. The other day I went out to help put some leaves in bags with the kids. The sun was barely starting to set. The air was crisp. The kids and I played for a long time. We sang and played Ring around the Rosie, London Bridges, Down by the Bay, Down by the banks. It was so fun to hear them giggle and have the time of their life. It was magical. I love spending time with my kids. I try so hard to do it as much as I can. It is a hard balance at trying to get things done around the house, taking care of myself, and spending time with the children. The Lord knows my heart and my good desires.

We have had many crisp cool nights where the kids will play until it's dark. Riding bikes and playing games on the lawn. Cynthia will bring her kids over and everyone will just live in the moment. Being a kid. No worries. Feeling safe, Feeling loved- and hardly a responsibility. oh dear.

Samson is darling and quirky. He kind of just does his own thing. Xander is calm, patient and says the cutest things. I need to remember what he says so I can write them down. He loves spending time with his sisters. Xander is very sensitive and tender. He feels so much for others for a 5 year old. He loves little Alice and sings to her all the time. Gives her kisses. He hurt her accidentally the other day and he cried because he felt so bad for her. So sweet. He is calm and easygoing. I love having him around. I don't want that little boy growing up. I love his soft ways.

The other day I was telling the Primary President, Sister Hall how awesome and kind Xander is. She was highlighting him in Primary and giving him a journal so I thought I had a little chance to brag, right? Sister Hall stopped me and said, "April, you say that about all your children." Ha ha. So I think the world of them. I'm proud to say the least.

We did our traditional "get our pumpkin" night at Black Island Farms. It was hard to wear Alice in the baby carrier and follow the kids around to all the outdoor fun stuff. Climbing huge haybales, the barrel tractor train, big slides, the pig races. I was dying I was so tired but the kids of course loved it. It was really the most perfect fall night. The air was cool but the sun was warm. At the end of the night we got onto the big trailer and the tractor pulled us to the pumpkin patch where we all got out and picked the perfect pumpkin. Kenzie finds hers fast, Julia and Xander are a little more picky, Sam finds the first small one he can carry. Luckily Chay showed up right before this or I think I might have passed out. Wearing Alice, 4 big pumpkins, 2,5,8,9 year olds to look after. Chay to the rescue. The best part is my children's faces. They enjoy this. I can do this. I tried so hard to not be snappy or moody so not to ruin the moment. I'm sure I failed occasionally. But it was the perfect fall night.