Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Happy birthday Mom. Let's see, 61. You would be 61 years old today.

Well on a lighter note, at least I don't have to worry about getting you a present.

I miss you.

You would just LOVE LOVE LOVE Xander. Oh my gosh. He is just so adorable Mom. He is starting to get super squishy. He has this "take-my-breath-away" smile. He coos and watches everything so intently. I know you wouldn't be able to get enough of him. He is so perfect. It makes me sad that I can't share him with you. You always seemed to love my babies as much as I do.

Kenzie still remembers your bald head and all your cute hats. She thinks you live inside the Temple. After teaching her one day about Christ being resurrected, she hopefully acknowledged that we will see you again 3 days after you died just like Jesus. It appears she has yet to understand the concept of time :)

Julia hasn't a clue who you are...but cherishes the pictures of you two together.

Xander...oh the feelings are so strong. I have the strongest feeling that he knows you quite well. A very strong impression comes to my heart that you two were side by side up there in heaven until his arrival here on earth. Xander is my little warrior. He will stand for truth and righteousness. Thank you Mom for preparing him...and warning him about how crazy I can be- Xander seems to be very tolerant to all the loud noises and chaos in our home.

The pain of missing you Mom has turned into gratitude more than anything. I just feel so grateful to have had you as a Mom. I completely trust God. I do not doubt that it was your time to go. I have faith. I feel grateful that I can take your death and see purpose and feel strength. I miss you, oh how I miss you...but it's ok, I truly see the bigger picture. Families are forever.

I'm thankful for the memories...sweet...wonderful memories. Well almost all sweet and wonderful- not so sweet when I got caught sneaking out of the house at 1 in the morning... and not so wonderful the time Joette and I walked in the house 8 hours pass curfew (the next morning)...but who needs to dwell on those moments?

Can't wait to see you again Mom...

happy birthday


The Potters said...

this made me cry. i probably cry 50% of the time i read your blog. the other 50% i laugh. love you april.

Calie said...

I miss her so so much.

Juls said...

I was just browsing through blogs and came across yours. I saw 1 line reading "Julia doesn't know who you are but cherishes the picture of you two." It hit a spot and made me cry. I don't even know you. I still have my mom but it just made me think, what if she wasn't here. I'm sorry for your loss.

Solveig said...

Love you and your mom. I miss her too!

Tiffani said...

What a nice tribute to your mother - I know you love her dearly. I look forward to knowing her better someday.