5 children now- and no, it doesn't get easier after each one. That is a lie my friends.
It is so hard to journal these days. Alice is now 3 months. She is so loved by us all and although she is better now, the last 3 months were really difficult. She's not the easiest baby- but I am slowly learning how she works.- She's been hard to figure out.
My life is total chaos right now. Just so busy with children and life. I love the littleness of my children. They all have cute stories. Sam is goofy and adorable-
it's just that it all happens all at once and everyone wants my attention and I so want to be attentive but I don't know how to do it- then I get stressed because dinner is to be made, family home evening needs to be planned, Kenzie needs to practice piano, homework isn't getting done. Ahhhh I just want to hide away from it all at times.
I am just going to jot down some memories and thoughts real quick. I am so tired and Alice is finally asleep. So I can't drag this out.
The other day we took Sam out of the crib because he learned how to climb out of it. It was time to give it to Alice. Sam has never slept well since he learned this new freedom. In fact there are many nights when we will hear Sam in the middle of the night walking around upstairs and Chay and I are too tired to do anything about it. So he will just drink water or get into some chips in the middle of the night. Sometimes we will find him crashed on our bedroom floor fast asleep. Sometimes he climbs into bed with Xander and Kenzie. Yes, that is 3 children in a twin bed. Because Xander insists he sleeps with Mckenzie. It is sweet. I know. But smooshy.
So we got bunk beds. The second set.
Kenzie and I decided to take down the crib and set it up in Alice's room. We were having a really hard time figuring out how to set the crib back up. I was getting really frustrated with myself and upset that I couldn't figure it out or remember how to do it. I didn't want Chay to have to come down and finish it for us because he can do everything and anything. I can't. I wish I could but my brain just can't figure out things right away. It almost makes me cry when I think about it--to be honest. Is there anything Chay can't do better?? He even cooks better than me. Pathetic.
Well anyway Kenzie suggested we pray. So we did. Right after we said, "Amen" I clicked the crib into place. It was such an amazing answer to prayer. So instant. Kenzie and I really could feel help so quickly after that prayer was said. It was really neat. But then I realized I had built the crib around me and I was standing inside, stuck. It was pretty funny.
Samson is the cutest most darling 2 1/2 year old ever. He is one child I refuse to let grow up. I can't stand the fact that this adorableness and happiness will fade into a 6 or 7 year old someday. I know, there is nothing I can do about it and growing up is good. Sam is just an interesting character. He always says hi to whoever he sees. He has a hearty to die for laugh. He is mischievous and stubborn. But he is so funny. Sometimes he will pretend to be asleep in his carseat and so I try to carefully take him out to not wake him and then he will just smile with his eyes closed and starts to giggle. It makes me laugh so hard. Little faker. So funny.
Xander is at Bravo Music academy kindergarten. He had a hard time at first saying goodbye for the first couple weeks. His eyes would get glossy with tears and he would hug me 10 times saying he loves me over and over again. So sweet. He really is sweet. Tender and kind. He now loves going to school. He is full of stories and loves to talk. I remember when he didn't talk forever- almost 3 1/2 and still not saying much and then all of the sudden- whoa! He is very concerned about people and he is very loving. He found out a friend in his class was having a birthday and he didn't forget the date. His best friend at school he says. Duncan. Xander drew him a picture and gave him starbursts for his birthday. So proud of Xander. We walk to school almost everyday and Xander rides his little yellow and black bike. Chay put Fox stickers all over it. I love watching little Xander peddle his bike with his oversized back pack on. His favorite stuff animal "Slush" is hanging from his backpack. I love that kid so much. Cutest 5 year old alive. He loves to draw now. Legos and Trios. He really follows his sisters around and craves their attention. He is so lucky- the girls are so lucky-I'm so lucky- so lucky to all have each other.
now to remember that, when I feel I might just lose it-