How do I even begin to write about everything happening in our lives right now. It's just been a constant roller coaster of emotions and changes ever since Covid hit the world in Spring of this year.
But today October 18, 2020 Chay was released from being the Bishop of the Washington Terrace 2nd ward. I can barely write it without welling up with tears. oops- there it is. Big tears. So many emotions and feelings.
So we moved from our beloved Terrace home in July. It was one of the hardest things I have ever done- same with the family- and again being in church today and watching my husband conduct for the last time and seeing him with that special mantle was hard to let go of. It is true- the harder you love the harder you hurt and somehow the pain is beautiful and sorrowful. The only way I can wrap this up and have it make sense to me- is that when we give it our all, we love with our whole heart, we sacrifice and put greater things before ourselves and then we have to sometimes say goodbye because it's our time- those feelings- is the ultimate life experience. It's like we see a quick glimpse of what God really wants us to be learning and feeling here on earth. As a family we decided to put so many things on hold as we served God and the people of the 2nd ward for 4 1//2 years. And even though it was hard, discouraging, and tiresome at times- it made our life story meaningful- full of purpose beyond anything we could have achieved materialistically, monetarily.
As we drove away from the chapel for the last time today our eyes filled with tears. What were we feeling? Sadness? yes. Was it kind of like a death? Yes. But it was also tears of gratitude for the experience no matter how painful it was. I know leaving the actual ward and neighborhood made it so much harder- but I couldn't help but feeling enveloped with all these life experiences that I wouldn't trade for the world. Of course we couldn't live forever in the Terrace and of course we couldn't be bishop forever- all these things must come to an end, but we loved and went 100% and because of that, the hurt was more intense yet more fulfilling.
We talked on the way home about how feeling this way makes us feel alive and that we are so grateful for all the experiences. I even brought up the fact that Kenzie will be leaving the house in 3 1/2 years and how nothing can stop that pain from happening and even though it will be so so hard to let our first baby go and everyone's big sister, we must be grateful for all the magic that has happened in our home over the past years and be grateful for her life. Be happy that she is moving on and becoming an adult- as much as we would like to have her stay home forever- we really don't want her to stay- because she needs to keep growing- We were all in tears as a family as we talked about Kenzie leaving the home. But it was a healthy needed cry and our love for one another solidified. It was a treasured moment that would never happen unless we were feeling the pain and sorrow of leaving the ward and saying goodbye to Dad being the Bishop.
I was so in love with Chay today and I could feel his heavy heart. I just love the man that he is. What an amazing person I married. Such a good person with a beautiful testimony. He is such an obedient man who loves the Lord. I want to go through life's trials by his side. He was a remarkable bishop who quietly served. His testimony was often shared through his actions. Many of the ward members never saw his long hours outside church where he was helping someone in need. He was kind and he let people lead. He trusted people's capabilities and their stewardship over their callings. Without looking for praise or attention he continued to show up and serve others.
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