Monday, October 08, 2007

expiration

I think the renewal is starting to expire...

Isn't it funny how conference doesn't change you permanently? I know this from experience and from dwelling on how righteous change occurs in my life.

I felt so good this weekend after feeling the spirit for 2 days in a row but I knew the feeling would only last so long and I would return to my old self again. When I hear the choir sing or hear Elder Eyring get emotional I hear myself saying, "I want to feel like this forever...my family is the most important thing in the world to me...I never want to get upset again at Chay or Kenzie...I'm going visiting teaching tomorrow" Do you think this way when you hear conference? Everything seems so surreal...like I am floating on a cloud when I listen to conference. But then the TV gets turned off and a kid starts to whine or whatever and then...well real life sets in again and of course because of the spirit I am gentle and loving to the whole family...for about a day...and then I start to lose that feeling...anyone relate?

I thought to myself "maybe I will take favorite quotes from conference and have Kinko's print them out on 5 feet by 3 feet card stock and I will post them on every door and wall of my house...or maybe I should just buy the conference cd's and have them play all day long...then I will remember the feeling I had at conference" not very reasonable I know...

It is the Savior who can literally change us. Obviously there are a million things out there that help aid our faith and growth like general conference...but it is Him who makes the real change- who can make the change last...the great atonement. Thank goodness we have conference as an invite to discover Christ in our lives-

Well it is worth contemplating and praying about...a lot of growing and knowing to do.

3 comments:

Calie said...

I think April that is one reason why we have conference 2 times a year... so we can relive every bit of it again and again. I love to have conference talks playing in the background as I clean or fix food and I have not done it for a while but I notice how the talks really stick with me when I do that. I too suffer from what I call conference freeze where I want everything to stay just that way when I hear it or listen to the chior sing but then the big melt happens and I go on living every day living...but a little better for listening to a prophat of God. ANd to hear apostles speak to us. I just keep telling myself how lucky we are to have Pres. Hinckley here with us.
Have a good day Apey. I love you.

joette said...

conference quotes on boats, eh?? I need to publish my idea that I have had for years now.

EDK said...

I have felt the same way you have for years. But if you improve one tiny thing in your life because you listened and felt the spirit...(which is how the Savior changes us...line upon line, precept upon precept, and by the spirit) It was worth it! I remember going to education week one time and coming home thinking I was going to change my world and all of you in it. That lasted about 10 minutes. The key thing I learned...can't change anybody except ourself, and bit by bit I have worked at that...crying out to Heavenly Father for help. I swear, somethings will never change...but I keep trying and that is the most important part.Just keep trying...you are better than you think you are.