last night Chay and I stayed up late to finish a movie on TV- it was probably rated R but was somewhat edited for television. It was Tears of the Sun- about the civil genocides/ethnic cleansing that is happening in Africa and how a few US soldiers decided to go against orders to save refugees. Half of the soldiers died. It was very emotional for me to witness how barbaric people can be and to see innocent beautiful families murdered or torn apart from each other- children...oh the children. Nothing puts a tear in my eye quicker than anything that has to do with mothers loosing their children or being separated from them in a brutal way- oh I just can't take it! Only moms can truly understand the feeling.
At the end of the movie a quote presented itself across the screen "All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing." Edmund Burke
Some people think it is wrong to watch movies like this- I watched Saving Private Ryan on TV once and my shirt was wet from my tears. My heart was full of remorse, love, sadness, gratitude for my life- grateful to live in the United States. That movie made a huge impact on my life- I will always hold the US army at the highest regards- the personal lives of the soldiers are easily overlooked until you watch a movie that takes you right into the battle scenes- right into the lives of each boy fighting- it was powerful.
Last night after the movie, Chay and I talked a little about how incredibly horrible it would be to lose Mckenzie or Julia. I was very emotional- the movie made me reflect on other people's suffering- I finally said to Chay- the only way I could mentally handle such suffering is to completely trust Heavenly Father's plan- I would wither up without that knowledge...
We walked upstairs and all I wanted to do was hold Kenzie tight in my arms...so I did. I took her out of her bed and snuggled with her in our bed until I fell asleep. All four of us close together...it felt good.