Saturday, September 27, 2008


Why did Sister Beck have to tell her "mother" story the way she did?

her words to be exact, "what will I do without my mother?"- this caused a monsoon of tears...and of course Brandi, who I consider an angel friend, cried right along with me.

The Lord is mindful of me. He really is. I felt His comfort tonight. I am not trying to pull any saga sorrow sympathy stuff on you about my mom- but seriously it has been on my mind a lot lately. The drama will soon fade. It will. It is just weird what I am going through...and it is really dragging me through some emotional feelings.

All I can say is that losing touch with Mom and not being able to communicate with her like I could just 1 month ago, has been one of the loneliest feelings I've had in a long time.

"We are all creators" didn't you just love Elder Uchtdorf's talk? That had to be one of the most powerful most inspired talks I have ever heard.

I honestly don't know what people do without the gospel. many miracles come from the knowledge we possess. Like tonight- I can't think of anything more therapeutic at the moment than attending the General Relief Society conference...I felt angels bearing me up.

A Jehovah's witness knocked on my door today and with his "watch tower" pamphlet he asked the question, "Do you really know your Heavenly Father?" and I looked at him in the eye and said, "I do...I know Him quite well" and it was an answer to prayer to hear my answer. So thank you Mr. Jehovah's Witness man for being inspired to knock on my door. Our little encounter today meant the world to me. Hopefully you make it as one of the 144,000- you probably will.

Today I went to a yard sale and there was the perfect tall dresser for the girl's room. I have been waiting patiently for a dresser that is tall with big drawers that will only cost $15 dollars or so...well the perfect dresser was already SOLD! I couldn't believe I wasn't going to get it. I was in shock. I kept talking to the owners of the house, telling them how badly I wanted that dresser...and the lady just said, "I am sorry sweetheart, it's sold" AHHHHHH someday

well I leave tomorrow to see mom. I will be there for 10 days. I am kind of dreading it. Don't know why- just kind of a whole new thing for me I guess- here I go...


Marne said...

I went to the meeting with several friends from the ward. Our stake serves us dinner beforehand, so we got a nice break! As we were into the 2nd talk, one leaned over to me and said, "It sounds like there won't be a talk about not being so hard on yourself." When Pres Uchtdorf started his talk, I gave her a little shove...see? Here it is. I loved his talk too...I was taking massive notes...We are all creators. I love it. I thought of you April when Sister Beck was giving her talk. I don't know what people do without the Gospel sis-in-law was on my mind the entire time...since she and my brother have removed themselves and kids from the church it has just been so sad, and I can see what it is doing to makes my heart ache. Good job on the dresser find, even if you didn't get it!

Have a good memory-making time with your mom the next week! I will be thinking of you.

Chay said...

I'm glad you were able to go to that Stake Relief Society meeting Apey. I hope that you have an excellent time with your fact, I think today is her birthday. I know that Heavenly Father is watching over you, your siblings and especially your Mom during this time of great need. I love you and miss you and the girls. Talk to you later.