Sunday, November 30, 2008

on the route

ok what do you know, Chay is a better paperboy than I am a paper girl.

He can get both routes done in 1 hour. I secretly try to beat his time every morning but I have only come close by 10 minutes or so. I do dink (or is it) tink around too much and sometimes I sit in my car and wait for a commercial break if I am listening to Talk Radio. I love talk radio.

On Sundays we go together- all 4 of us. The papers are too heavy and would take 1 person 3 hours and so Chay drives and I walk...and we are always in a bad mood when we start and we are almost always in a good mood when we finnish. We let Kenzie deliver a paper on the porch of the last house. She gets so excited and proud. If she only knew how uncool it really is to have a paper route- actually it isn't uncool- it has been a blessing to be honest. I love all the thinking I get done in the morning-

So what would the paperboy nickname your house if you knew...he was nick naming your house-

Chay and I are more visual than numerical when it comes to memorizing the houses on our route. You give us a number of a house and we have to refer to the map almost always. But if you say something like, "the house that still has it's Halloween decorations up with that black goblin ghost thingy whose head is falling off" we instantly know what house we are talking about.

The homes on our route:

The Tea Party House -these people have 2-3 cute tables set up with chairs always in their front yard- like they have daily tea parties or something- when Chay is tired he calls this house the "Tea Cup" house- whatever

The Obama House- they have a "Obama for President" sign in their front yard that is practically the same size of their home- ok not really- but it is huge...and no worries- this man is the nicest man ever- He is very kind and wakes up early to tip me sometimes. He gives me $10 every month! thank you for spreading the wealth sir.

The Stressed out Mom House- this house has a huge suburban parked in front with a "soccer mom" sticker on the back windshield. There are toys everywhere on the lawn. There are always things like baseball bats and dog dishes on the front porch and not that I peek in the windows but their basement is stacked with laundry all the time (I sort of glance inside windows from time to time)

The Cat House- me who doesn't like cats- really loves this cat.

The TV House- always always on- I have never seen this TV off. Never. No lie. This man loves his TV. Maybe silence makes him feel uncomfortable- I wait for the morning to tell Chay the TV was actually off. We look forward to this day.

The Smoke House- This house smells like cigarette smoke. You can start to smell it when you get about 10-15 feet from the porch. Sad

The New Porch House

The Comcast House

The Castle House- There is a Cinderella suite or something- beautiful big house

The Pot House- They actually don't get a paper but I cross their lawn everyday and I think, "I swear everyone who lives in this house smokes pot"

The Over Done Christmas Decoration House- self explanatory

The University of Utah House

The Spanish House

The Sheriff's House

Brother Drapers House. You know you're in Utah when you yell to Chay while he is driving- "You get Brother Draper's house and I'll get the one on the corner" or "Did you get the House to the family who spoke in Stake Conference?"

The Lady Who Gets Scared House- This lady always gets spooked no matter what when she sees us so early in the morning.

The Holland Lady's House- Don't know if she is from Holland or not but I just really love her foreign accent and so I just say she is from Holland...I like to say the word 'Holland' in a Holland accent. Try it.

The Mexican Who Likes Geese House

The Coupon Lover House

The 4 Wheeler House- Chay named this one-obviously

The Dog House- no matter how quiet you throw or place the paper on the porch these ravaging ruthless mean barking dogs attack and slobber all over the door- from the other side thank goodness- and I am just so grateful there is a door that is keeping our worlds separated. I love fences and doors.

The Rug House- this lady has like 5 rugs stacked up on top of each other. Why? I really don't know. She likes rugs.

The Subaru House

The landscaped House

The $20,000 Waterfall House

The Natural Gas Car House

The Cookie Cutter House- there is nothing wrong with this house- everything is perfect, the lawn, the landscape- no cars in the driveway, no clutter, it is almost weird- I think I would rather have tea parties on my front lawn than have this boring perfect looking house-(isn't it funny how I am totally judging these people by their homes- and I really have no clue who they are- it is fun though. You should try it)

well I can't think of anymore- most of the homes are pretty basic and boring to remember anything about them- like my house- but that is probably a good thing.


Emily Taylor said...

You have pretty much just summed up the way every house in Hawaii gets its name. I lived in the Backyard House (really big back yard), and the A-Frame (A-frame house). But there was the Animal House (big buck head hanging on the wall), Jacuzzi House, Dolphin House (big painting on the house.) Anyway, the list could go on. That is how I would remember everything. My mind is the same.

Emily Taylor said...

Also, now I want to get up early one morning and tip, or have some warm cinnamon rolls ready for our paperboy...or paperfamily.

Calie said...

I remember everything like that too. And Keith does not. He is a numbers guy and it is so funny when he is giving me directions he will spout off a number and I just kind of blank out untill he tells me a landmark. When Keith had the paper route and I would sub for him I would go by what their mailboxes looked like. I had a name for all of them too. So funny. I also would remember streets better by the color of houses on them. I guess thats why Keith was always so good at finding places when he worked for UPS. Anyway April I love you. Take care.

Stacy said...

This is such a funny post. I get 4 papers - so my paper person must think I'm the coupon lady (which I am). He/she could also think of me as the angry coupon lady who calls a hundred times if I don't get all 4 papers. I never looked at it from the delivery person's point of view. Great insight and funny blog!

Heather said...

This is supper cute, I love how you look at life!!!!