Tuesday, December 15, 2009

service

I hate being pregnant.

Sorry to those who love it. I promise I am not evil. And yes I will love my child. I always do.

Someone asked me today what I wanted for Christmas. That is easy: My first trimester wrapped up in a cute box with a bow and then thrown in the garbage.

When I am miserable I love to create unreal solutions to my problems.

I want to go to a First Trimester spa/resort getaway. At this resort I would be given all the latest alternative medicines that would take away all nausea. I would have this secluded bright room with a fireplace and the biggest bed with fluffy pillows and an electric blanket. My room would be overlooking a lake. I would have a professional massage twice a day. I could sleep whenever I wanted. I would be served hot soup, turkey, mashed potatoes and Popsicles...no poopy diapers to change, no dishes to wash, no laundry to do- just peaceful walks in nature, visits from friends and family all day long...oh how lovely that would be...even for a week.

since I don't have a first trimester spa to go to...

I survive. Like what most mother's who suffer from morning sickness do.

I am only 8/9 weeks pregnant...AHHHHH!! half there??? please tell me I am at least half way there!...

I know when I am feeling really wasted and sick- I wonder about that whole mind over matter thing and- is it really true that some kind of inner strength can make a horrible day a wonderful day?

Now I am jealous of girls who don't get morning sickness AND the girls who have inner strength.

My inner strength consists of "Come on Heavenly Father, lift me off this bed...I can get off this bed, I know I can"...30 minutes later "Come on April"... 30 minutes later "the girls are trying to make breakfast themselves....come on April" 30 minutes later "Kenzie, you can pour the milk yourself can't you?" and then suddenly the overwhelming urge to throw up gets me off the bed..."see I knew I could get up somehow"

I know I am supposed to be of service to others to help forget about my own trials. Until I get better at that, I would like to thank the small acts of service that have come my way. Tara and Tami thank you so very much for the frozen dinners. Oh what a blessing and for Tiffani's pregnancy package and for calling me all the time...I married into such a thoughtful family.

I am learning great lessons about service...

I am discovering however what helps me sort of...some things that actually keep my mind off of things...and the toilet.

People. When I am around people I feel better. Well some people- people I love.
Music. Playing the piano. Turning on Christmas music.
Coloring. I have been coloring pretty intensely with Kenzie lately- and it helps.
My bed. I almost giggle when it's nap time and I get to crawl into my bed.
Mashed potatoes, gravy, turkey/chicken, and milk. I must be having a boy.
Phone calls.

small tender mercies...

6 comments:

The Wright Stuff said...

Oh April... I SOOOO feel your pain. I want to go to this "spa" with you! It sounds soooo dreamy! During my first trimester, I would have given ANYTHING to be given some HIBERNOL so I could be in a coma and then have Rob wake me up when I went into labor. Come to think of it, I still wish for that!!!!
I am so happy to hear that you have loved ones and friends who are near to do nice things for you. Thank you for posting this. I have had a really hard day today and the minute I read the first line to this post, I smiled... because it's exactly how I feel right now. Hang in there! Like Rob keeps telling me... "You won't be pregnant forever, right?" I love you! I'm sure you've already tried them, but have you tried those "sea bands"? They didn't work for me this time, but they did when I was pregnant with Hudson...

Calie said...

Yep its going to be a boy! Bless their hearts! I love you April. Hang in there. You have lots of angels on your side.

Sarah Gibby said...

Congrats! I am sorry you feel so rotten. I'm one of those girls you hate, because I don't get sick, just tired.
Update on the CCSVI test: The imaging center is obtaining the special software so they can do the protocol I gave them correctly. They said it will be mid-January before it is ready. I wish it was sooner, but they are really trying to do it right, which is awesome.
I hope these next few months go fast for you and that you start feeling better soon. =)

The Potters said...

Amen. Stupid first trimesters! Did you have morning sickness with your first two pregnancies? ps. I didn't even know you were prenant. Congrats!! After throwing up all the time for almost my whole first tri, then I got a perscription...REGLAN. If you haven't tried it...It's worth a try. After taking it I went from throwing up twice a day (at least) to maybe only once a week or less.

You make me laugh April. I can see you giggling when it's nap time:)

I miss you too. When will we get together? I'm glad you like my hat. I made it! Remember when you taught me how to crochet? Thanks! Love ya.
PSS. How I coped with morning sickness: EAT ALL THE TIME.

Marie said...

You are so funny, April! Being pregnant was never something I enjoyed either - it was the means to an end - or rather 4 wonderful new beginnings! Hang in there. In hind sight - that 8 1/2 months X 4 was not such a long time. My baby is now 12 and my oldest is an RM at BYU with his first 'real' girlfriend... ahhh...the circle of life!

Mrs. Olsen said...

For what its worth..congrats. Just power through and then you'll be getting thrashed by a newborn. :)

The good stuff always comes hard huh?