Monday, February 15, 2010

healing segment- time to be kooky

My "healing segment" posts might be boring to most...and there will probably be quite a few in the future. They are here for documentation, motivation, information- regarding my search for health. BORING to those who are generally healthy, interesting for those who can relate.

I am at the tipping point.

It is 4:18 in the morning. I can't sleep. My body is tired but my brain won't settle down. My health is not good.

I know I am really kooky about some things...especially when it comes to health and nutrition. I think it's because I am sick with MS. I think it's because I have weird things going on inside my body that most people don't deal with. I think it's because I saw my mom die of cancer at 59. She was also sick most of her life with other MS and Fibromyalgia. I think that is why people with incurable health problems, who become desperate enough, start seeking different routes for their health and therefore become "kooky".

When Mom died I read some of her journals. In 1985 she wrote "I know if I don't take better care of my body, I will die soon." She also wrote a couple years later, "I feel that my eating habits are killing me slowly."

Mom used to tell me all the time that she felt so impressed by the Holy Ghost to figure out her health...and she did...after the diagnosis...when it was probably too late. She really made some huge changes and taught us all so much about how important our bodies are. I believe she extended her life with the eating choices she made at the end. We sort of gladly said "good bye" to her home cooked meals...maple country ribs, pies, potatoes, jello salads and said "hello" to collard green salads with Quinoa vegetable pilaf instead. We supported her...and we made sure she didn't break down and go for ice cream when she was discouraged. I remember calling her and saying "Mom if you feel like ice cream and brownies, just call me instead." I was her 12 step mentor. I was very impressed with her. She lost a lot of weight, the radiologist saw tumors disappear in her lungs and hips, her swollen ankles were no more, her skin radiated, she had unimaginable energy. It was a lesson for all of us.

It is time for me to listen to the promptings of the Holy Ghost now...and not wait until a diagnosis much more grave than MS hits me.

ok back to "kooky".

A couple days ago I mustered up the strength to get the Supergreens out and I made up a drink. Morning sickness and a quart of liquid full of floating green vegetable herb powder has NOT sounded appealing to me these past 3 months. The nausea turned me away from anything of such. I went from green drink to 7-up over night. Anyway so I made the drink. I put it on the counter and stared at it. I knew in my heart of hearts I needed to start drinking it and to change my eating habits drastically. But I didn't want to. I wasn't feeling well enough to...too much work and sacrifice for the moment. Wasn't I sacrificing enough? Hello I am pregnant? I take care of 2 girls all day? Shouldn't I just be naturally blessed with a healthy body for doing what I do? yeah right. If only it were that easy.

I left the green drink on the counter, full, and I sort of walked away thinking I would drink it later somehow. I came back 20 minutes later and the water bottle was empty. Kenzie and Julia had drank the entire quart and were asking me for more.

In a way, the empty bottle was a huge motivator. I looked at them in the eyes and said, "thank you for drinking my green drink, thank you! We can do this, can't we girls! We can do this." They looked at me strangely. Kenzie, my little cheerleader, "We can do it Mom!"

anyway so it is an upward battle...but today is the tipping point for me. Today is February 15th. I am extremely tired with hardly any energy to be found. My brain is foggy. My left side does tricks on me when I sit still. I have a mild headache at the moment but they can get pretty severe at night. I get winded walking up the stairs. I have the blues. My joints kill when I get up after sitting for a long time- I walk around like an 80 year old for about 5 minutes. I feel nauseous and icky. I have a really bad cold with a plugged up ear. My toes are completely numb. My body aches all over. I feel weak. I do not feel good. Something isn't right and I know it.

So here I go. I ate a Valentine sugar cookie tonight with "to die for" (literally) Butter Cream with Almond extract frosting and I knew inside it was going to be awhile until I ate sugar again. So I made sure to eat another one:) And then I felt even worse after that.

It is time to alkaline and energize. A theory I feel that best resonates with my answers to healing.

It is "kooky" to eat a certain way when everyone else around you is eating what the culture has taught us to eat and plus let's face it, unhealthy food tastes sooo good. It will be sort of hard. Chay knows I am kooky but he is so supportive. He won't touch a Kale smoothie for the life of him, but he is still supportive.

Tomorrow I go shopping. I need a really good salad spinner and some sharp knives. I think I will purchase an "Easy Sprouter" off Amazon too. Costco for avocados and vegetables and almonds, Good Earth for some sprouted wheat tortillas and almond butter and other fun stuff...

"The first wealth is health." ~Ralph Waldo Emerson


Mothership said...

Good for you, April. Our body gives us signals, doesn't it? If we are willing to listen . . .

I don't think I'm kooky about food stuffs, but I am a all-home-cooking type of person. Not very many preservatives or pre-prepared foods in my cupboards. That isn't to say I eat perfectly. We eat white sugar and I don't sprout my beans before putting them in the chili (they look like creatures when they sprout--yuck!), but I can pronounce the ingredients in the meals I feed my people. Probably a good middle ground for me and my mental health. (:

Good luck. You can do it!

The Wright Stuff said...

I love that quote about health. It's sooo true! I feel that if you have your health, you have everything!!!

Sarah Gibby said...

I'm right there with you April. This is my fifth pregnancy, but I have never been so nauseous. Veggies have been making me gag. You have inspired me to go make a green drink, even if I don't drink it all.
I hope you feel better soon. It does seem a little unfair that most people can eat whatever they want and still feel great.

Bela said...

There's so very raw emotion here, beautifully written. Jaded, and humorous :)

I think you'd really like this, please take a look!

Let me know what you think, be strong.

Tiffani said...

Okay you have got me thinking about my diet. I know that I can do better, also. Please share your green drink recipe!

I finally bought a salad spinner at Costco - they were cheaper there. I have a sprouter - just need to find it. Thanks for the motivation - you inspire all of us. Let's get healthier together!

Hollie said...

mmm, my mind is stuck on avocados. They are just about my favorite thing to eat in the entire world.

It's bad enough being sick & pregnant, I can't imagine have other issues like MS as well.

What we eat really does make a difference on how we feel. Good for you for trying to be better. This is a hard one for me. I LOVE LOVE LOVE food. All kinds, healthy and not so much. Thanks for being an example.

JP Anderson said...

Like all things in life, I feel you need to make a plan and stick to it to be truly successful. Here's mine in a nutshell. No crap during the week, none. Don't buy anything you will regret eating. This makes it really hard to eat those things later. I've found that stepping outside of your planned diet boundaries is a slippery slope. Write out your exceptions. Example: I can moderately indulge myself on holidays, birthdays, date night ect. "A bow will lose it's strength if it does not unstrung." This gives you something to look forward to. This works for Felicia and I anyways. Thanks for the motivation. We can do it!

Calie said...

April I dont think you are kooky at all. I think you are inspiring!