So it is July...
I can actually say that I will probably be having a baby this month.
Have I ever mentioned that I hate being pregnant?
But you know, the summer weather has been nice. The girls are so fun...and Chay is the love of my life...
Ok I can hardly type that without giggling. We aren't a "you are the love of my life" type couple. We aren't a "terms of endearment" type couple either. He's not "baby" or "honey" or "sugar". He is "Chay". And I for one don't prefer to be called a food product by any means. "honey buns, sweet cheeks, honey, sweet cakes, muffin, or sugar" are a no go- especially now when "honey buns" would probably seem most appropriate with my nice back cushion I have acquired these past 9 months.
I actually really like to hear my name. "April". "April" just sounds nice.
One time Chay and I were joking around how couples seem to have these "nick names" for each other and the fact that we don't might be a bad sign. I told him we should do a test run on some terms of endearment for each other. So I looked at Chay and all I could call him was "Chay". Chay looked at me and called me his "cougar".
I couldn't stop laughing. um...no, too sexual. We both agreed everyone will get the wrong idea...or the right idea...
So we call each other by our first names. Chay is such a nice unique name- why hide it and ruin it with "honey bunny". Ok writing this is reminding me of the movie "How to lose a guy in 10 days" anyone seen this?...oh what a funny movie.
But I do love Chay the same regardless of our lack of nick names for each other. He is becoming my greatest friend. I can tell him really boring things and he listens. He will tell me what is wrong with his motorcycle engine...the timing, the carburetor, the valves...and I will listen. I love having him around.
Being too big to take care of my feet like I should, Chay scrubbed and "sanded down" my callused summer dry heels on Sunday. He wiped up the kitchen floor for me. He helps me get up off the floor after family prayer. He rubs my back and tells me I smell good in the middle of the night.
I don't think I could be 9 months pregnant with anyone else.
So despite the sciatic nerve in my butt, the achy hips, stiff joints, the sleepless nights of rolling from side to side, the mysterious varicose veins in my vulva that can't be seen but feel like knives cutting into me (yes, I said vulva- get over it) and despite the swelling calves, feet and ankles merging into one body part a.k.a. "cankles", and despite only having 3 shirts now that sort of hide my butt crack, cleavage and belly completely, and despite the ligament pains on the sides of my stomach that I swear are worse than labor, and despite feeling overwhelmed, hot, sweaty, puffy, massive...despite all this, I feel blessed...blessed to be a mommy of three soon, blessed to have a safe loving home for my children to be raised in, blessed to have good friends, and most especially to have Chay...I have really witnessed the hand of God and His mercy in my life lately...and so I keep trucking along. My mom used to always say that- "keep trucking along"
The weather has kept me trucking along.
Went camping. All 4 1/2 of us slept squished in a supposedly 3 man tent. Which we all know the tent is lying when it says how many "men" it can sleep. The girls slept fine. Chay, being 6'3 (which equals 2 men in "tent size") and beefy me (3 men)- did not sleep...at all. Our air mattress was flat to the ground by 2 am. My body was on fire by the time it was morning. New pains I have never experienced before...and as I lay there focused on how in the world am I going to put on my shorts with this huge achy body in such limited space, Kenzie wakes up with her huge positive smile and says, "This is so fun! I love sleeping in a tent! Can we go see the swing at the water?" What? Are you for real? You can't be this happy...not now anyway. So...yes, she changed my mood real fast. She is such a light. I want to be more like Kenzie in so many ways.
We have been swimming almost daily...and doing all we can to get out and enjoy the sun with the girls. Zoo, splash pad, health club, parks, school lunch...sprinklers...
I can really testify to the idea of "just keep going" and don't let circumstances stop you- life is better when you're busy working, being with people, enjoying simple things. It has helped me cope with these last couple months. I remember my mom, who was a lot more sick than I have ever been, saying that every day she had a choice- a choice to either stay in bed all day or to get up and "just keep going". Those words ring super loud to me every morning...
now how in the heck am I going to give birth???? I know I have done it twice before...but honestly what a phenomenon. The pain scares me...women are amazing.