Thursday, March 21, 2013

best friends

Julia is suddenly interested in making friends. She is starting to understand that there could be meaningful people in her life besides her family. She loves to listen to Kenzie's "school friends" stories and she is intrigued.

The other day at the park she saw some kids around 10 or 11 years old. She must have gathered the strength on her own to go up to the kids and ask to play with them. I just watched the whole thing play out from a distance. Luckily the kids were nice enough to where she didn't get her feelings hurt. (Julia can be very sensitive.) Julia came running up to me afterwards and said happily, "I made friends." It was cute but I knew they were slightly old for her...but whatever. I was happy for her confidence.

That night she expressed to me that she wanted to make friends. I reminded her that she already has friends from church and the neighborhood and that making friends isn't as hard as she thinks it is.

I always tell the girls that no matter what friends we make in this life the two of them must be best friends. Sorry, no excuses. Best Friends. I won't have it any other way. Julia and Kenzie BFF's.

The next day we went to the park again. A little girl came up to Julia and asked her what her name was. Julia's face lit up. I loved watching this unfold. "I'm Julia" The girl then said, "That's a pretty name. Do you want to play with me?" Julia then said, "sure, what's your name?" "Chloe" Just like that, Julia made a friend...and off they went.

Kenzie who is miss socialite has never worried me if she would make friends or not. All of her quarter report cards from her teacher praise Kenzie for her social skills and for being everyone's friend. I always knew that about Kenzie and that is one of the reasons why I didn't want to homeschool her- because she thrives off of being social and meeting new people. She loves activities where many people are involved.

Kenzie noticed Julia playing with another girl and Kenzie wanted to join the fun but it was obvious Julia and her new friend didn't want anything to do with Kenzie. Kenzie's feelings were hurt and she came running to me in total shock that Julia would rather play with another girl than her. I waited for it to boil over and it didn't really. Kenzie felt like she lost her best friend and made sure Julia knew it. Julia then starts to apologize to Kenzie in the car for playing with someone else. I didn't like Julia apologizing for this...So the drama begins and they are only 5 & 7.

After the park I went down in the laundry room. As I folded towels I called to Kenzie to come help me. I told her that she needed to be happy for Julia and to not make her feel bad for making a new friend. Kenzie had no idea how big of a deal today at the park was for Julia. Kenzie makes friends easily so it was hard to for her to understand. I explained she needed to somehow tell Julia she was happy for her even though her feelings were hurt. Kenzie felt validated for having hurt feelings but her eyes were opened to how Julia was feeling.

Kenzie drew a picture of her and Julia holding hands. She said, "Good job on making friends Julia" and gave her the picture. They hugged it out. Best Friends again....

Now, if and when something like this happens again between the two girls 6 years from now, I am "hoping" the humility, forgiveness, and understanding will still be there. Ha! crossing fingers

drama drama please help mama

I am writing this simple story down so I could possibly use it in the future, if you know what I mean.



Tara said...

How fun for Julia. And cute that Kenzie got jealous. BFF sisters is going to be hard to maintain in a few years. :) Enjoy!

Elissa said...

And in 20 years one of them will get married and the other will have to deal with all those emotions again. I got married 7 years ago and my sister--my very best friend in the whole world--cried for a week because she felt like I was gone. Well, wouldn't you know it... she got married this past January and I bawled all weekend long because things would never be the same again. (and they obviously haven't for at least 7 years already).

Anyways, I wanted to tell you how cute they were together in church on Sunday, when you and Chay were out with your boys. I could tell they are such good friends. :)

Elissa said...

P.S. In my family, everyone is best friends with the sibling they shared a room with growing up. So maybe that's the magic trick, I don't know.