My house is almost quiet. 9:14 and the kids are finally winding down.
Besides Xander of course who has turned into the devil child...no seriously. Devil child. :)
Love him dearly but I have never experienced anything quite like this before. He isn't taking all of life's changes very well. Baby brother, bye bye binki, bye bye bedroom- slam slam slam and just like that he is a whole new kid. Mean, malicious, violent, screamer.
His tantrums have escalated to a new scary wow. I am trying to be patient yet consistent with him and doing all I can to not cave in to what he wants despite his screaming and kicking. I sit at the computer to avoid his screams and just pin random stuff to Pinterest trying to ignore his out-of-controlness. Xander won't let me hold him and console him- he will just throw punches or turn away but if I leave the room he screams even louder. So I just let him scream it out with him right next to me...I try to stay calm but my blood is boiling. I know I am stressed because I run my fingers through my bangs and hair on top of my head- that is what I do when I am tired and stressed.
Xander suddenly won't obey, won't stay close at the store. He refuses to do anything I suggest or say- reverse psychology worked really well for about a week until he caught on to what I was doing.
Xander refuses to sleep. His naptime yesterday was just an awful experience. He was so incredibly tired and I knew it. He becomes a 4:00-in-the-afternoon nightmare if he doesn't get a nap in. I understand that napping isn't easy without beloved binky but he needs to nap regardless. I didn't force him to sleep but I did force him to stay in his room. He ended up kicking me in the eye. After a hour and half of screaming stubborness he finally gave up and fell asleep. I was with him most of the time. I was so confused as to what to do. I just cried I felt so helpless and inexperienced. My heart ached for Xander. He is obviously going through some rough times as is his mother.
Neat Story: During one of Xander's outbreaks I broke down. I cried like a toddler, feeling so discouraged and confused that my biggest problem right at the moment was not a needy newborn but my two year old.
I prayed...to God but to my mom also hoping she could hear somehow-
Later that day I get a message on Facebook from one of my mom's best friends Melody. I haven't spoken with her for almost 2 1/2 years. She wrote, "April, had a lady come in to make a cake order today with her daughter. The mother reminded me of your mother so much I got teary eyed. I miss my friend! I'm sure you miss her terribly. I wanted to come see you today but ran out of time. I thought maybe your mother wanted me to say hello or give you a hug!"
I guess everything is going to be ok- has to be after experiencing that neat tender mercy. WOW. My heart skipped when I read her message. Prayer was heard, prayer was answered. It's all going to be ok somehow.
For the record, Xander was remarkably better today- no meltdowns from him or me. Progress.
Xander with his favorite thing in the world- "the B"...and now no more. I miss it almost as much as he does.