Monday, August 11, 2014

Julia's real birthday

Julia's real birthday was pretty lame but mostly by her choice because she insists that her real birthday be celebrated when her Daddy is home. So, since she was turning 7 I couldn't mess with dates like I could when she was little. August 8th was easily "August 10th, or August 12th" to better accommodate our plans when Julia was younger because tiny kids usually don't know or pay attention. But Julia knew this time around that her birthday was indeed on Friday, August 8th-and she knew very well that Dad was gone on his big motorcycle trip.

I wanted to make it special but she didn't want to open presents until Dad was home. She didn't want to even have cake or ice cream. She didn't want to go swimming without Dad. It is really sweet and I didn't know that she cared about Chay being there for her as much as she did. Daddy shows love differently and isn't super affectionate- he can be at times but his effort of showing love is just different than Mom. Daddy is a hard worker, he takes care of things, he makes sure the kid's bikes all work, kills spiders on the walls, fixes the kid's broken bed, makes sure the bedroom window is closed so they don't get wet from the morning sprinklers, he will build Legos with the kids, takes the kids on 4 wheeler rides, checks up on them when they sleep, picks up fallen kids off the floor and puts them back in their beds, makes sure they are warm, - but he isn't very "huggy" and he's not a huge communicator either. Sometimes I wish he would spend more time talking and holding the kids but I just appreciate the other side of Chay so much that I try to just focus on the person he already is and not on what he isn't. But it is totally his idea to paint the kids' toenails sometimes and the kids couldn't be happier.

However he is a big communicator with me and very affectionate with me- ha ha- so I don't get it. He has mentioned before that he was never around a dad much growing up and he doesn't remember talking to his dad ever one-on-one. His dad was gone all the time driving truck when he was younger and then his parents divorced when he was 12. He doesn't use it as an excuse but he just doesn't know how to be a certain kind of dad, because he never had one growing up. So, I think he is doing pretty well.

The kids love Chay no matter what! He is a great Dad. As his wife I suggest he does interviews with the kids and take them places and ask certain questions and he is more than willing. I know it stretches him a little but since he wants to do what is right, he does it. The power of humility. One of Chay's greatest gifts is the gift of humility. He wants to do what is right.

So yesterday for Julia's birthday we wandered around Target because Julia loves toys. She loves to play with them but she is so dang grown up for her age and she is so logical that rarely does she want to actually buy a toy that she sees at the store. She will say, "I really like this doll but I think I will only play with it for a little while and then it will just sit with my other toys at home." Seriously!!! Great thinking Ju Ju! I would love to swap toys around with other parents so toys don't get old- but my other kids couldn't handle that. The best way to buy a toy for Julia is to just surprise her with something.

Cynthia came over yesterday and gave Julia a crochet purse with cute crochet hairbands. It was adorable. We talked forever while the kids played- even though they were all tired, hungry, and cranky. We kicked them outside. Cynthia knows pretty much everything about me because I don't have a mom I guess. She knows the good, the bad, the ugly. I tell her things that most girls only tell their mom- I even brag a little about my kids and our life changes. I guess some people don't have that kind of relationship with their mom but I sure did.

I love hearing Cynthia's stories as well. She is very wise and has such a smart view on life. She is solid. She is a great friend and neighbor and the thought of leaving someday makes me sad.

Everyone needs at least one friend they can feel their self around.

It was time for bed and Julia asked if she could sleep alone with me since Chay was gone. I loved her request. Of course Kenzie and Xander were sad but I put those two in the same bed and asked Kenzie if she would read to Xander. Then I explained to Xander how wonderful it is to sleep with Kenzie. She is soft and super cuddly and once she falls asleep, she rarely moves unlike Julia who is a disaster to sleep with. They giggled. I promised Xander that Kenzie won't push him off the bed in the middle of the night like Julia does. It was funny.

Julia came down with me. She sat in my bed and colored. I tried talking to her but her answers were short but she was just being Julia- kind, interested, to the point. I started reading to her from The Friend and then after the first story she rolled over and tried going to sleep. What??? I wouldn't let her. I kept bugging her and not letting her sleep. I told her she can't fall asleep yet, we just got started on our slumber party. "Too bad, I'm tired now" she would say. So funny that girl. So I scratched her back because it's her favorite thing in the world and I let her look at my Instagram Roll on my phone of all the pictures of the family. It was so fun to see her smile and giggle. She was talking a lot more. Then I started to fall asleep- it was my turn. It was a great little time with Julia. Happy Birthday little girl. I love you!!

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