One thing I learned from my visit:
Mothers make all the difference. They just do. And I can't believe I am one.
The trip home was somewhat adventurous. The girls were entertaining to say the least.
A lot of potty breaks...
And I loved it when we passed cows. "Mooooooo"
When I walked through the front door of my parent's house I felt instant emptiness. It was clean (Joette lives there) and it was exactly decorated as it always has been...with touches of Mom's art and style everywhere- but something was so different.
For one thing there wasn't any food. "Why are the cupboards empty Dad? I am starving!" That house usually has a nurturing feeling to it when you walk in...like it was a given you'd soon be fed a good meal. Not this time.
I remember loving to go home because Mom was my mom again. She would sit and listen to me talk about my problems, hold my hand in the temple, make dessert, fix a hem in my skirt, have Family Home Evening, share a scripture at breakfast, play and read to Kenzie...
I didn't have a mom this time around.
Very empty feeling. I am thinking the woman of every house must provide a special aura- special spirit that can only be felt when the woman is residing there. A feeling of creativity, love, nurture, home.
It's the whole house vs. home thing
So of course my trip was fun...just a few aches here and there.
It seems like yesterday we were saying goodbye to Mom at the hospice house. She still has so many things of hers in the closets at home. Lotion bottles half used, books all wrinkly from reading them in the bath tub with a bookmark where she left off, her favorite shampoo that made her grey hair shimmer- still in the bathroom. Death is so weird.
My dad has a lady friend now. Her name is Kaye. Yes, Kaye. Kaye is wonderful for Dad...she is actually the nicest most patient lady I have ever met...probably a better match for Dad than Mom was. It is ok,- it is perfectly safe to say that- don't worry. All I know is when Mom would get red in the face at Dad's quirky "ness", Kaye just simply smiles and reasures that everything will be ok. It is a miracle really.
The dynamics in my family are kind of changing...and so it was hard to feel grounded in Newman Lake this time.
So what did us girls do on this lovely trip?
*Well I stayed at Tiffani's and we went to see Jody. Jody was supposed to inspire me to get organized. She is an Organizing Fool- amazing. My mind will NEVER work like Jody's, but it was exciting to see a life completely organized. What it must be like??? I love organizing. I think about it all the time. I am always thinking of function and "flowage" of an organized household..and yet I royally suck at it. But because it is a desire of mine...I feel that someday I will be granted this wish- not on this earth...but someday.
*Went to a family/friends BBQ at the Winters' cabin on Newman Lake. It was a delight to see forever treasured good friends. Not a delight however to chase Julia all night so she wouldn't plummet face first into the the lake.
*Watched my brothers race Motocross at the Kootenai County Fair...they raced in the '30 and older' bracket of course. I am so proud of my brothers for keeping their dream and love alive. I loved watching the races- especially the professionals. My heart was pounding and I even cried a little...probably because I know how desperately my brothers are passionate about dirt bikes. I didn't take any pictures of my bros racing...I thought I recorded it but nope...camera issues. But I did happen to take a picture of our snack while waiting for them to race.
So I didn't take pictures of my brothers racing...but does this picture count?
*Went to the fair again with just me and the girls and my 5 year old nephew Isaac. We went to the petting zoo and looked at all the animals. It is funny how having curious kids suddenly makes me want to walk down endless rows of smelly stalls filled with farm animals. It was fun to see the kids reactions though. I loved petting the sheep.
We had a baby lamb when I was a little girl. We named her Dr. Pepper.
*Went camping. Holy smokes this was a time I missed my husband most especially. But I did it- I put up a tent and snuggled with my two girls with a flashlight...priceless. The girls loved the whole tent experience...and after 10 minutes or so of squirming with excitement, my girls curled up next to me and slept through the night.
It was tricky though to keep everyone happy during the day. So we solved that problem by spending a couple hours in Grandpa's trailer.
Camp trailers are cheating aren't they? (you have to watch the video below)
We went camping up at Coeur d'Alene River. The most beautiful place on earth. Mom's one and only camping spot. I can't get over how perfectly beautiful this place is. My heaven will look like the Coeur d'Alene River area...the spirit is so strong there for some reason. The creation at its highest potential. Where childhood, testimony, adventure, family and memories come together and solidify in me a place of peace and refuge from the crazy busy world.
*Took the girls on a small hike with Bryon and Lorena and their two little kiddos. Julia rolled down a 25 foot embankment and into the river...oh dear...she was fine believe it or not...then we returned home...and rested gladly.
Ainsley and Kenzie- These two little cousins were inseparable.
camping camping camping
*One night after the fun but tiring camping trip, we stayed up late watching YouTube. Keith had to show me this clip...I laughed so hard...very fitting for the weekend excursion. His name is Jim Gaffigan:
*Went to church. Mom is a legacy in that ward. She left a legacy. She left this world as an example to all. She left her mark. She left a mark because she was obedient. I want to leave a mark.
*Visited some amazing friends. Sheri and Jaynee- you know what? We will always always be good friends. Isn't that crazy? I will always be able to be 100% myself around these girls no matter what. What comfort.
*I also did a whole lot of nothing on my trip. Read a lot.- cleaned out the garage...went to goodwill with Daddy. Everyone was busy it seemed so I just kicked it at home a lot. I read this book and it was so inspiring:
Here they are on the lazy kick back days...Grandma's swing. This swing is near perfection. It sits on the back deck in a place that stays shaded for most of the day. It is really comfortable. It's great for conversations...and the view is breathtaking- mountain ranges and endless pine trees for the liking.
*Got my hair done one night by the infamous Eileen. My hair is dark again. After all these years of highlights...I colored it back to my original color- although I'm not quite sure what my original hair color is anymore...after the hair appointment I spent the evening with Keith and Calie and their wonderful family. Keith was in the best mood. I loved it.
*oh and Keith shared with me some more YouTube relief: Brian Reagan and Pastor Manning's sermon "Long Legged Mack Daddy" ...oh I haven't laughed so hard for so long...
*Joette and I stayed up super late one night (it was so nice not to have the paper route) and watched 10 or so episodes of The Office...what a miracle that show is.
well that about wraps up the trip besides the road trip home and the WHOLE BREAKING DOWN IN THE MIDDLE OF NO WHERE CRAP.
Let's just say that was a miserable experience. Met some nice people to help me...but it just ended up being a very discouraging, expensive, exhausting ordeal. If you really want to know the details- then ask me about it someday.
All I know is after we spent A LOT of money on the car to only find out the engine was ruined, I just wanted to pretend my life wasn't mine. Chay's brothers so kindly came and finally rescued me from Legrand and hauled the car back to Boise. I didn't want to return home. I just wanted to stay at Tiffani's forever. Chay came and we stayed the weekend. I helped Tiffani move and organize which was very therapeutic to worry about someone else's problems rather than my own.
I am still kind of numb to the whole fact that we aren't sitting pretty with the whole car situation...all I have to say is our "emergency fund" needs more funds for the funding.
Dave, I really need to call into your show...maybe I will tonight. The debt snowball has come to an abrupt stop.
all makes for a good story doesn't it?
so now I am back home...
OH MY GOSH!!!! MY GREEN DRINK JUST CAME UPS!!!!! I think I can handle life now.