Thursday, December 16, 2010


hold your breath's going to be ok.

It is late. I'm wrapping presents, finishing home-made presents, finishing up my 4th load of laundry for the day and staring at an un-frosted cake. Mckenzie's 5th birthday cake. Tomorrow my big girl will be 5. NOOOOOO!

What is happening to life? Slow down will ya?

One question that pops into my head often: Am I making good use of my life? Am I stuck in a whirlwind tunnel of culture, fear, bad habits, procrastination? Or am I doing what I'm supposed to be doing?

The scale goes back and forth (kind of like my weight) but...seriously, TIME is slipping away. Am I living in the moment? Am I loving and listening? Does Kenzie know how much I adore her? Have I been present in her life? Or am I too busy doing non essential things all day and never just STOPPING and soaking her in. Soak that little special light girl in.

I soak her in. I do. More than I thought I would to be honest. But there is still so much of me to give to her. And at night time on the days when I am short with her and a not so good mommy- oh the crushing guilt. I feel so silly. She is a precious 4 year old for crying out loud. GET IT TOGETHER APRIL!

Kenzie is awesome. A drama queen, but awesome.

porcelain face
sincere eyes
motherly kindness
ability to imagine and pretend
The feelings she expresses when dancing, singing...oh to be 5 again.

5 year olds are the best. I love their words, thoughts and sentences. I love their curiosity. I love how doing the dishes is fun. I love a 5 year old.

Happy Birthday Kenzie. Amongst all the chaos and joy of the season, you are my brightest star.

The other day I asked the girls what gift they wanted to give Jesus for Christmas.

Kenzie's reply "I want to give Him all my glory"

of course we giggled at that, but isn't she right on?

Light. Light. Light. What would I do without all this light? My children and husband are my greatest treasures. Love them.

even on days when I feel like throwing dishes against the wall...


Tara said...

Happy Birthday Kenzie! We are so excited to see you grow up and become such a loving little lady. It is fun to see how much you adore your sister and brother.

Gage is soooo very excited to see you today and celebrate your big day! Hope your day is wonderful.

Heather said...

paragraph #4 about the questions you ask yourself... that is exactly what I've been thinking about lately. I know there are so many things that we get caught up with because of our culture... even mormon culture. And I wonder if we're really getting the essence of life. interesting thoughts.

Levi and Cynthia Wilde said...

Oh sweet little Kenzie! Happy Birthday! I know this is so so random but I was totally thinking the other day about Kenzie and if she would be going to school this coming school year.
She really does have a beautiful porcelain face. So so pretty.
I can only hope that I can be a good mom like you to my little dude...I really do look up to you.