Sunday, December 12, 2010

mom and Christmas

I only have 20% battery left in my laptop.

So I can't be long winded today...

I miss Mom.

Christmas is all about the Mom. We decorate, sing, tradition, cook, serve, gather, teach...

Oh how I would do anything for just a quick 20 minute talk with you Mom. You have been gone for over 2 years. Just 20 minutes? Come can come in my dreams if you want. That would be such a fun night's sleep.

Or you could just visit me- you know, like the ghost angel thing. I will be up late tonight editing Chay's paper for school. Come visit me in my new living room- it's so darling. You probably wouldn't like it- too funky for your taste. But you would be proud of all the hard work we put into the room. You were always so proud of your children. We KNEW we were special in your eyes. We ALWAYS felt special when you were around.

Ask Heavenly Father for permission to visit me will ya? Just tell him "my daughter needs me really bad this Christmas". He will understand. He always does.

I forgot to ask you when you were dying if you would come visit me from time to time once you got to the other side.

I also forgot to get your cheese ball recipe. That would come in handy right about now...

15% battery left. And our basement doesn't have any 3 prong outlets yet...

Mom, I want to tell you about how cute my Christmas decorations are this year. The tree is perfect. I have the stuffed reindeer that your first boyfriend gave you 50 years ago sitting on my desk. It is perfect.

Dad finally said I could have your Mr. and Mrs. Santa Clause you painted so many years ago. I had to give him the big guilt trip: "Share Mom with us please. You and Kay can start collecting your own Christmas decorations now...Mr. and Mrs. Santa Clause belong to me...they just do."

11% battery oh dear

Christmas is so hard without you. Thank you for making Christmas so dang special. I'm having a hard time filling your Christmas season shoes.

I cried when I was playing and singing "I'll be home for Christmas" on the piano today. I imagined you singing it and oh man... I just really really MISSED you.

For future generations and for family history's sake:

Edie Kaye Tomblin always made Christmas SPECIAL...For her family and for all her many friends. During Christmas time there was always music playing. We would gather around the lit Christmas tree and listen to music and cry from feeling the spirit. We always did the 12 days of Christmas for a family- EVERY YEAR. Mom was always baking and giving away pies to ward members. She had big dinners...and Christmas Family Home evenings always planned. She was always involved in church activities- writing scrips for plays, planning special dinners, painting back-drops, directing a choir-always DOING. She never worked. Her job was FAMILY. She was never busy trying to earn money- she was too busy being Mom- and busy serving others. I'm sure her little talents could of brought in extra money. But FAMILY was her priority...

Mom loved to sing Christmas songs around the piano with Joette playing. She loved to GATHER. She was a GATHERER. She always bore her testimony of the Savior. She loved to give home-made gifts. She was always sewing during Christmas. Pajamas, stockings, crafty things. One year she wanted to make fleece coats for everyone- I told her it wasn't a good idea. I told her I was too vain to wear a home-made coat. She only finished one and quit. My heart breaks when I think of that story. I have her one and only fleece home-made coat and I finally treasure it with everything I have.

Ok my battery will die any minute.

Oh how blessed we are to be in contact with so many wonderful people. I am truly blessed. How lucky I was to have you Mom as my mommy for 28 years.

However, as much as I would love to emulate you, I still wish I didn't have messy drawers like you...and I also somehow grabbed your problem of getting overly excited about 10 things and trying to do them all at once until I go crazy...and unfortunately my life is full of unfinished projects because of it-

but that is ok- because as a mother you accomplished and finished what God wanted you to do on this earth- the most important things were taken care of...and that's all that really matters...and so I keep trying to do the same, despite my messy drawers, I try to gather the family together and teach them about love and Christ...


ok 3-2-1 my battery is at 1%.


The Wright Stuff said...

I am missing YOU and your mom too!! How in the world did she do all that EVERY year for Christmas!?? if she visits you, please ask her for me and let me know. What a wonderful wonderful person EDK is. I am thinking of you April. I love your blog posts about your mom. They are so special. Love you!

Joette said...

oh man.. I'm in tears big time over here. I'm so excited to come visit you this week. I need you. You are the next best thing ... next to mom... Maybe she will wait to visit us in your new living room until I get there. Oh wouldn't that be perfect. I love you April. Our Christmases will fly by and soon we will be with mom again. It is just around the corner really. I'll see you Wednesday night with my santa hat.

Tami said...

Sounds like Christmas was a fun time with your family and your mom went above and beyond to make it special for you must have lots of fun traditions to have in your own family now to carry on those memories with your kids!

Me~Kelly said...

yuck. so sorry. i hate reading your pain April. Joette is right tho, life is over in a blink of an eternal eye - so it really won't be long. and in the mean time keep doing your mama proud by being what she was to you to your own kiddos. i will pray for your peace over this holiday.

Lindsay Heiser said...

Your mom sounds amazing April... I feel like I have a little sense of who she was by reading your blog. I'm sure your girls will have those same sweet memories of you as a mom :-)

I would love to see your living room... put some picts up! I'm sure its so cute!

Anonymous said...

april, it's me Lore =)
i sent u an email about your mommy 2, hope u already read it, i miss your mommy too like crazy, miss my mommy the most this time of the year, i totally understand how u feel, please post pictures of xander soon! love u, Merry Christmas!

Calie said...

April I miss her so much too. My kids do...Keith does. I miss her warmth and traditions at this time of year when she made me feel so secure and so thankful for the birth of the Savior. I ache with wanting her back. I ache for my kids because they want her back. You are not alone in your missing her.
I love you April. Wish we could all be together again for the Holidays.

Ginger said...

Wow, what a beautiful post to your mother! She sounds like an incredible woman, and you sound a bit like me. I'm messy, get overexcited and start too much at once, and more!

I'm interested, you mention she always did the 12 days of Christmas for a family every year - what do you mean by this? Maybe I'm out of the loop, but I don't know what "doing the 12 days" entails. Care to enlighten me? I love to hear about ways to serve others like this.

You mom sounds like she was an amazing woman, and I bet you are too :)

April said...

well every year we would pick out a family and then in secret do special things for them. We did the 12 days of Christmas when I was really little- my mom was creative and so she took the lyrics from the song "12 days of Christmas" and she would change them up a bit- and for 12 days we would drop stuff off at the doorstep of the family we chose and we would knock and run-

when we were older she started doing the word CHRISTMAS- each day was a letter of the word "Christmas" So first day was "C" and so on a piece of paper would be written "C is for the Christ child born on Christmas Day". And then we would give a letter C with a manger scene. and so forth- The letter M was always Merry so at the end the family would have all the letters to Merry Christmas- that snapped or tied together- it was so fun and neat. Always in secret. Only a couple times were we caught.

So there you go Ginger!

Dixie Mom said...

I hope you got your wish. ;)

I will be hugging my Mom a little tighter this year.

Found you on MMB.

Sue said...

Momza sent me over here, and I'm glad she did.

My mom is still with me, but she's 83. I am going to appreciate her a little more while she's here because of your beautiful post.

Thanks. And Merry Christmas. (I hope she gets to come in a dream...)


Hilary said...

I love this, what a great way to "talk" to your mom.
I'm sure she heard every word. :)

Lisalulu said...

This was just beautiful and many thoughts are swirlling round my head. Momza steered me over here. and I have linked a post here too.