Tuesday, August 05, 2014

May 14th 2014

*another old post I just found. 

*As I was reading this post real quick before I published it I felt like my words sounded sort of cheesy and weird. I wanted to edit it, but then I realized that what I wrote is literally how I felt in the moment and so I left it the way it is. I think it is really important to journal feelings when the moment is fresh. It really captures the real live happenings of each day. I wish I could write every night about each day- because my journal entries would feel more honest to how I was truly feeling at the moment. But then again, I might sound horribly depressing and lost on bad days- so maybe not always a good idea I guess.

Today I woke up anxious for the new day. For some reason I put things off until the last minute sometimes. Today was a big day for Julia because her class was finally going to the Hogle Zoo. She has anticipated this day for a long long time and she builds up upcoming events her mind to be this huge thing. And yes, sometimes she is very disappointed but that's life for Julia. Anyway, got up this morning, packed lunch for 3 kids and rushed around the house for 45 minutes packing wipes, diapers, lunch, rain stuff. I knew it was going to be a big feat for the day- hauling 3 kids to the zoo. Julia, Xander, Sammy. We figured it out.

I am the most happy when I am with my children. I feel complete when we are all together. I love it. I love holding a baby on my hip and holding a child's hand in the other. I love to hear my 8 year old Kenzie ramble about something funny and I love trying new and motivating ways to get Xander to follow rules and be happy-usually.

After we gave kisses to Kenzie and she ran to her class (I still get tiny ounces of almost tears heart skippin happy saddness every single day when I say goodbye to her- she still blows kisses to me and says I love you 10 times when I drop her off for school- and she is naturally sweet and so she is so so so easy to love and miss) after we said goodbye to older sister we got in the van to go to the zoo. I surprised them with the Frozen soundtrack. Oh to see their faces light up!!!! Xander could not stop smiling! We sang so loud to all the songs all the way to the Zoo- downtown Salt Lake.

We get to the Zoo and I was so ever thankful for the beautiful 58 degrees sunshining weather. It was beautiful and perfect. It was so so exciting to be at the Zoo today. I have been several other times before and I am not a big fan to be honest. Usually it's hot and sweaty and the animals just sleep and hide all day- but today they were all outside. I just about freaked out when I saw the tiger roaring and running around. It was awesome. The kids were excited and the whole day they stayed pretty focused- even Xander enjoyed it despite how tired he became at the end. I love that kid so much. My handsome boy.

I love being with my old soul friend, Julia. She is just real. She asks so many questions but she is so so easy to be around. She is calm and curious. A mom came up to me today and said, My daughter wants to be like Julia." Her kindergarten teacher heard her and said, "everyone loves Julia because she is such a great student" Julia is just my little Ju Ju to me. I think she is pretty great myself. After a long day of walking around, taking breaks, having lunch, 3 trips to the bathroom, we finally conquered the zoo with success. Kenzie didn't know that I bought the Frozen soundtrack and so when we got close to her waiting spot in the pick-up line I turned up the volume really loud and I start to lip sinc to the song "Love is an open door" and I kept pointing to Kenzie and singing. Oh the smile across her face. It was so funny. It was the best way for me to let her know- "your day at school is over, you're with family now, you can be 100% yourself, and you are loved, time to have fun." We jammed out to the CD. Sometimes when I pick up Kenzie and Julia from school Kenzie will say, "so glad to be in the van." One day she came home from school and opened up the front door and said with a sigh, "so glad to be finally home" It was the cutest thing ever. I realized that even though I know she enjoys school, it can be exhausting and I loved how she felt all comfortable being home.

We got home and I made dinner- not a very good one- and then I sat down and practiced a really hard song on the piano with Kenzie. Then we had to go to soccer. She scored a goal!!! That girl is busy but we have the reigns held tight- we keep her home and keep her young the best way we know how. It's great to be 8! The magical number to slowly let go a little and see the choice machine get revved up and put to practice. So far so good!! She is making great choices. I do not worry about Kenzie. She is valiant. Came from Heaven that way! She is extra positive and sees the good in every situation. She always sees the good when I complain. The other day in the car she was quiet and she finally spoke, "Mom, there is a reason for everything, there really is. I didn't want Mrs. Mabbitt for 2nd grade but I think I know why I was supposed to get her." I'm sitting in the driver seat blown away at how she is processing life and learning- and I love it.

Daddy couldn't come to the soccer game because he had a phone interview but Julia and Xander usually roll down the huge hills and/or play in the dirt at the games. Sam just eats the dirt and makes cute faces at everyone. I looked over to find Xander and he was peeing on the cement by the baseball diamonds. I just looked away pretending I didn't see anything.

I am screaming and cheering on Kenzie!!! She is surprising me greatly with her athletic skills. I am not one to push much on her-allowing her to discover what she likes or not on her own. Soccer was something she wanted to try this year and so off we went with it. She is such a fast runner. She scored 5 goals so far this season.

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