Old Post- finally finished it. Even my journal is scattered brained. When will I ever figure it all out?
I want to write this as fast as I can because I tend to embellish on things not that important and then I waste my time- and then I realize that I never finished what I really wanted to write about and before I know it, a hour has passed away.
Yesterday I went to ward council to present our ward family history project to the ward. Then I taught the high priests and then I taught the youth in Sunday School- all about family history. I have the lesson in Relief Society next week. I am planning something big and exciting for our ward so many will go to the temple with an ancestor's name when our beautiful new temple opens in October!! It will take a lot of my brain and a lot of time but it is so worth it. I feel peace. Life makes sense. I love that the Lord trusts us with His work even though I depend on Him so much for His help. All. The. Time.
When I am focused on what is right (because at times I drift) this is what I want to do with my life: I want to serve my family and the church with everything I have until I fall over dead...living my days out tired but with peace in my life. Nothing else makes sense to me. And yes I have bad days, really bad days, and yes I get discouraged but the Lord somehow helps me carry on and I seem to make it through.
okay Memorial weekend. It started out with tears as Kenzie placed 4th in the Spelling Bee. She mastered all the second grade words at home but since the Spelling Bee went for a long time they had to move to the 3rd grade spelling list and we did not practice that list. She was so upset and I was sick to my stomach. I was so nervous for her but so proud that she placed 4th over the entire 2nd grade. She missed the word "Confess" She left off the last S. Her face broke my heart. I held her in that cafeteria as she sobbed in my arms. Every child who misspelled a word was sobbing in their mom's arms. It was actually slightly disturbing and I wondered if 2nd grade was too young for a spelling Bee until I heard a mom say that her 6th grader cried just as hard as her 2nd grader. Oh, I see. Hmmmm.
But the hardest part of the Spelling B was not Kenzie losing or her only placing 4th. The hardest part was the young boy who misspelled a word and had to sit down but had no one to go sit with because his parents weren't there. He sat all alone at a cafeteria table and buried his head in his arms and cried. Where was his Mom??? Doesn't she know this is a huge ordeal? Doesn't she know that he had to be one of the top 3 spellers in his class to even qualify for this spelling Bee? This little boy was beautiful- super tan with dark eyes. I went up to him and played mom. I told him he was super smart and he did awesome. I tried to comfort as much as a stranger can. He smiled a little. I get emotional every time I think of that little boy all alone who really needed his mommy at that moment. Moms!!! These are pivotal moments!! Be there!!
When I picked Kenzie and Julia up from school that afternoon I decided to make things a little better because I knew Kenzie was having a really bad day. I took them to a garden nursery and had them pick out a vegetable to plant (kids are so easy). Kenzie was excited to grow honey dew (we will see how it will grow) Xander picked out a pumpkin which made me laugh because we have no room in our backyard for a pumpkin plant. I am thinking I will let it spread to the back of the fence and then let it climb up our garden shed or something. Julia wanted honey dew too. We then went to this neighborhood nearby called Heritage Ranch. It is crazy awesome. Everyone in this beautiful neighborhood owns multiple horses. The houses are brand new and gorgeous. They have big training pastures right in the middle of the neighborhood for everyone to use. Every house had a big pasture with stables as well. It was so awesome. I had my own horse when I was a child and I loved riding. Mckenzie loves horses as well. I knew she would love this. We parked our van and pet some horses. I think Kenzie has a real gift of gentleness and animals and children are really drawn to her. Julia for some reason wanted to stay in the car- what 6 year old wants to sit in the car when there are horses to see. Oh Julia. She makes every day so interesting.
After that we went to the old Farr's ice cream shop. It is in the coolest oldest building and it so happens to be across the street from the Ogden Temple. I let everyone choose their favorite ice cream and we sat outside and looked at the temple. We noticed that the eating area we were sitting at had trash everywhere. I asked the kids what would help solve this trash problem. I had them look around. Julia of course "Why don't they have a garbage can out here so we have a place to throw away our napkins?" Bingo. I then got a garbage bag from the car and we picked up the whole eating grass picnic area. It felt good and the kids thought it was so fun. Except Julia, but she was willing. As we were leaving we saw a family throw their garbage on the ground. Wow the kids got upset. Disappointing.
Kenzie was feeling better. I gave her a little eye opening speech. I told her that honestly a Spelling Bee means nothing. It doesn't mean you're not smart, it doesn't mean that you're better or not better than anyone. I told her that accomplishment is fun and it is good to challenge yourself but really all that really matters is that you keep doing your best. Just go through life doing Heavenly Father's will- loving, working hard, doing your best, serving others, keeping the commandments. These things bring the greatest happiness. Not winning a Spelling Bee. But the both of us are determined to do awesome next year and master both 3rd and 4th grade spelling lists. I hate stuff like this- spelling bees. ahhhh yuck, but whatever.
I know Kenzie will still listen to me but she is approaching a time in her life that maybe she won't so much. Taking advantage as much as I can.
We went on an awesome hike Saturday. It was pretty challenging for Xander but he pulled through and did great. He kind of got tired on the way down and then he fell and then he decided he was done being strong and brave. Chay had Sam on his back in a backpack and then when I didn't think I could carry Xander anymore Chay took both boys. We hiked up Waterfall Canyon and we made it to a beautiful waterfall falling 100+ feet. It was so beautiful. I love how that hike is a wait-until-the-end-have-patience-the-prize-comes-after-a-lot-of-work type hike. The kids kept anticipating the waterfall and could not see it, only hear it, until you got to the end of the hike. It was such a sight to see. Great analogy to use in the gospel.
I love where I live. Ogden Utah is beautiful. We are smack up against the huge breathtaking mountains. We have two rivers close by- the canyons are a 5 minute drive from our house. We have 2 big reservoirs 20 minutes away. 3 ski resorts 20-30 minutes drive. There are lots of parks everywhere. I love the Downtown city area and the diverse people. I love the heritage of the city. People used to tell me that Ogden was the armpit of Utah. So not true. I mean, yes, it is ghettoville in some places and downtown neighborhoods can be a little scary but for the most part it's really pretty and it has really grown on me the last couple years. I am proud to say where I live. The mountains here are AMAZING. Poke right up through the clouds almost to heaven. They are green right now and there are spots of white snow still- rocky ridges. I love it.
I will forever call North Idaho and North East Washington my home. I love where I grew up and I wish I could find a way to move there but Chay's career is here in Utah right now and I really can't do much about that. We have looked and looked for opportunities to move home but nothing seems to workout at the moment. I have made a choice to love Northern Utah- we have been here 7 years and I am finally loving it. It's about time. I feel it is important to love every place you go because you never know where God will need you and place you- even if it isn't where you prefer to be.
Sunday Morning I woke up with Julia, Xander, and Sam in my bed with Chay and I. We were so scrunched. But I woke up so incredibly happy because I was surrounded by my kids and Chay- the people I love most. Sure I wasn't comfortable but I'm sort of pass that by now. I want memories of kids snuggling up with me in bed more than memories of a good night's sleep. Those days of full night sleeps are coming and so for now, I will love it. Now if it happened every single night-um, maybe I would start going a little crazy. But I am just relaxed and just used to it for the most part. Baby cries at night, I just throw him in bed with me- nurse him, fall asleep somewhere in there. I don't mind that soft baby skin- no matter what time of the night it is. I have changed.With Kenzie I thought my world was falling apart if I didn't sleep well at night. It was so hard-but now I guess I'm just used to it. It's really not that big of a deal like it used to be.
Sam is beyond cute. In my mind I can't think of anything more wonderful and perfect than my Sammy. He has the heartiest laugh. He gets so excited he can't contain himself. He has beautiful curly red hair. He is a huge snuggle baby. He loves to be hugged. He loves to play with my long hair when he gets sleepy. He rubs it all over his face. So adorable. He is 16 months and only scoots across the floor on his bum bum. It is so fun to watch him cruise down the hallway on his butt. He has mastered it pretty well. I am not totally worried yet. I think he will figure out walking eventually. I just love love love that little boy so much. He has a temper but I just know him so well that I don't read into it that much. His temper is actually kind of entertaining to all of us. We just laugh at him. He is a great baby and I just want him to know someday how much we overly enjoyed him as a baby. All the kids love and adore him so much.