phone death

I didn't know how to process my thoughts when I saw my phone sitting in a cup of milk. Kenzie looked at me like she was proud of herself- and I gave her quite the opposite look. So off to the naughty rug she went and off to find a little screwdriver I went- but to all our attempts of rescuing it by cleaning and drying- my little phone died- drowned- by milk and foul toddler play.

I mourned my mournings today as I realized that my phone had priceless video clips and pictures from when Kenzie was a baby. There was one video with Kenzie and I together and she is just giggling and giggling. I used to play it all the time...oh how sad.

So email me all your phone numbers please!!! Time to update my new phone!!! Tara made the recovery smooth by lending me her blackberry! Thank you Tara! So if you have tried to call me these past two days sorry- but my phone number should be working again!

um...are we bad parents if we tell Kenzie: "It is time to stop praying please and eat before your food gets cold"? Now that she is getting this whole prayer thing down- she won't stop. It is sweet and humbling. It tugs on the emotion strings and all that neat stuff- but when she screams her head off when I try to say amen or if I open my eyes...I feel we are coming upon a little problem. She will ramble on forever about grandma, ju ju, Isaac, boats, trains, popcorn, daddy, mommy, church, rocks and then repeat herself a million times. Sometimes I hear a Jesus and an Amen in there somewhere- in her cute little gibberish- but she isn't closing her prayer by any means- she is far from done... oh what to do? Oh what to do?...it's funny I know-

multiple sclerosis

I will not let this get me down....

So I have Multiple Sclerosis. It sounds like some horror movie monster with 20 eyes...don't you think? I was diagnosed 2 1/2 years ago. I was completely devastated with the news and cried for a month straight. I felt so sorry for myself...I prayed constantly for strength. When my symptoms were starting to go back to normal I found out I was pregnant with Mckenzie. I remember I was in the bathroom with the pregnancy test in my hand. The second red line was slowly appearing on the test and my eyes filled up with tears knowing that Heavenly Father was not going to give up on me or my purpose here on earth and either should I.

Since then I have had 2 more burdening flare-ups. One when Kenzie was 6 months old and now when Julia is 6 months old. I am not strong right now like I want to be. I know what I am supposed to think, I know what kind of faith I am supposed to have. I have all the right answers but really I just want to hug someone and cry myself to sleep. Tonight I did a dreadful thing. I googled multiple sclerosis and was slapped in the face with all the scary definitions, symptoms, facts on the severity of the disease as time goes by...I read the symptoms and found myself nodding as I have experienced 95% of them. One of them that brought tears to my eyes was the cognitive failure over the years...memory loss, hard time finding words (word on the tip of the tongue), hard time reasoning and prioritizing. I laughed a little because today I wanted to leave the house by 3. I had to throw dinner in the crock-pot, get dressed, and get the girls ready and I couldn't figure out what to do first. I finally put chicken in the crock-pot while still in my underwear...and I said to myself, "April, what are you doing?-go get your clothes on" sounds funny but after reading about MS tonight it makes me so sad...don't mess with my brain- I can deal with being numb all over and being dizzy, tingly pins and needles- but not my brain- I like my brain-...

The chances of me actually posting this are pretty rare...but I guess my readers are family and friends anyway and it's not like I haven't complained on my blog before- I can share my feelings so much better in words than I can in person- Sometimes I get so tongue tied and sloppy with my choice of words that I don't even make sense when I am in front of people ...however certain people instill a kind of confidence in me where I feel very articulate and capable...that is pretty normal right?... do you feel that way too?

So what route do I take? There are medications I could take. They have been on the market for a short time so the studies aren't promising. They all claim to slow down the degeneration and hardening of the myelen sheaths surrounding my nerves but I just feel icky inside when I think about taking medication...they aren't safe for pregnancy- well they are sort of safe- but not by my standards- you can't even get me to take a Tylenol when I'm pregnant. What do you think I should do?

There are 2 ladies in Spokane who were diagnosed with MS around the same time. This was about 25 years ago when they were diagnosed. One decided to go the medical route and take the medication. She uses arm braces to walk, she's overweight, and was eating a chocolate brownie when I talked to her last. She told me with tears in her eyes that if it wasn't for prayer she would have given up many years ago. I wasn't sure what that meant but when I asked her if she ever tried bettering her condition through diet and alternative methods she quickly stated, "diet really didn't make a difference when I tried" ironically I remember at that moment a part of her brownie falling to the floor and asking her husband to help her pick it up.

The other lady decided to live her life differently. She went on a special diet, exercised, did acupuncture for the pain, herbs, detox, did not take any medications- she is currently serving a mission with her husband in London, continues to compose music for the church...I have talked to her several times about her theories and she testified how she could feel Heavenly Father directing her to see certain specialists and doctors...
who knows- all I know is she didn't resort to an expected life-style but did all she could to be healthy- she didn't take the medication which is interesting...I don't know-

well I feel better now that I wrote about how I feel...don't worry about me- it's April. I am fine. Heavenly Father is mindful of me. In actuality MS is a gift. I turn quickly to Heavenly Father in prayer and fasting because of it. I begin to study, search, and reflect more- I call on Chay's priesthood more often- so it's a gift- good night

tagged

5 things on my to-do list:

1- mail off some packages and letters- today
2-start the dreadful ms diet-any day now
3-clean up and organize my laundry storage room-Saturday
4- write an entry on my blog (I'm actually doing it!)- today
5- learn a song on my harmonica- someday

5 snacks I enjoy:

1. peas & carrots with salted sunflower seeds
2. toast and butter- I have an unhealthy relationship with this snack
3. fresh pears
4. guacamole and chips
5. banana and chocolate are just perfect together- but I think I will have to put this snack on hold for a while.

What would I do if I were suddenly made a billionaire: I would scream!!!!!

that is a big tithing check! oh save it and invest it of course for future things, get prepared, buy a piano, a nice camera, my wedding ring- sell the house and move away from this chaos! I want a big back yard too. Get Chay into his master's program, pay off our car and student loan, secretly send money or buy needed things for people in need- that would be so much fun, buy really expensive skin care- buy a home to flip- start a business-


7 places I have lived:

1. Newman Lake, Washington
2. Rexburg, Idaho
3. Brazil
4. Ewing, New Jersey
5. Willsonville, Oregon
6. Burley, Idaho
7. Utah

5 jobs I have had: I've had at least 12 jobs or more- so I won't list them all...

1. Deli and Cashier at Dean's market
2. Pizza Driver- River City Pizza
3. Subway- yum- good smell at that place
4. Loan processor-Family Home Mortgage
5. Academic adviser BYU-I


5 things you don't know about me:

1. I would love to design functional house plans...or parks, libraries- or theme parks
2. I want to write a book someday- about what I'm not sure...
3. I shave my legs probably 6 times a year...don't have much hair and it is blond...
4. I love to sing- but I think I am losing my voice...I need to practice- Joette?? I need your piano skills!
5. I love paper- certain types of stationary- in fact I am looking for stationary that I have designed in my head but can't find it in any of the stores- I love unique journals and the look of books. I love maps too-

well the summer clothes are back in their bins downstairs. Ok not really...they're actually still in a big pile in my room on the floor but I thought it was a great way to start out my blog...if only it were true.

so we are home now...we got home on Wednesday and first tip: leave your house clean before you leave on a big trip. Our home was a scattered mess, revealing frantic last minute packers- our home was cold and it didn't echo like the home we rented in Orlando-those wonderful tile floors.

Disney World was spectacular. It kind of gave me the goose bumps when I first got there. Everything was flawless. The architecture, the landscaping, music, weather, lights, workers, food, fireworks, parades, light shows, rides, characters- it was almost a little overwhelming at first. I just didn't know how to take it all in.

Instead of just being delighted by a new place I get logistical and I start to analyze everything- I imagined Walt Disney's vision he had of this place, the organization it takes to run something so over the top, the millions of dollars spent, the perfection of layout and planning of the park.- This place truly is magical...and/or Disney is a mastermind corporation who definitely know how to run a business.



After 3 days or so I finally got used to the walking and and overload of people. Our family of 16 walking through masses of crowds defines all meaning of "three's a crowd" or "16 is a crowd" All different ages, all different interests, different views...just different. It was fun though to see us all working together the best we knew how. Mom was on a rented scooter and she was the leader of the pack as we tried to keep up with her. (She loved that thing) When we were wiped out from a long day of walking she was ready to "take off" again. It was very exciting and a huge answer to prayer to see her have energy.

So how in the heck am I supposed to write about this 8 day trip? So many in and outs, little things here and big things there- so much to grasp. Um it was just a great experience. The last day was hard for me- I didn't want to go home. I am a feely type person so to see the trip through my eyes would be different than some. Splash Mountain was an exciting ride yes, but it was the hour wait in line with my family that was most memorable. Just being together is enough for me. So instead of buying an expensive shirt with Mickey on it, my greatest souvenirs of the trip are watching my mom and dad hold hands as they make their way to Pirates of the Caribbean or Mckenzie falling asleep on Mom's lap as they cruise around Fantasy Land on the scooter- you know- stuff like that.

Space mountain is something else I tell you. I lost my equilibrium for about an hour after that ride and Chay had to carry me out on his back.

Magic Kingdom was magical but it was my least favorite. I kept getting bouts of anxiety when I was there. I knew there were a million and one things to do and it was impossible to do it all. The rides were a long wait and I felt like great experiences were slipping away- it was just all so new and explosive and loud that I just wanted to sit down on a pretty bench and eat... ..the first night Joette came down with a headache. I went up to her room to see if she was alright and she said, "I am ok, just having sensory overload" her words were so incredibly understood.

Sea World...ok now what a great place! I don't know really what to say but it was just peaceful. We walked through amazing aquariums and watched dolphin shows. We saw Shamu and went on a crazy fun roller coaster- Kraken. It was smaller and relaxing. It was a great shift to admire God's animals. Some of us got a little teary-eyed at the dolphin show- what amazing animals! and you just know the trainers love their dolphins so much.

Epcot- My favorite part was the walk around the world. This is a must see- again nothing is short changed at Disney World. I wish I could have spent more time and money here. I wanted to buy food in every country! Joette was found in France- with a box full of pastries- Sad to say there was no Brasil.

Hollywood studios was great too- I just love going on rides with my brothers. Everything they say I soak right in- I never get to spend time with them so it meant a lot to me to be with them. Rockin Roller Coaster was the best- there is just something about riding a roller coaster with areosmith blasting in your ear. I love music- what can I say? Tower of Terror is quite the ride I tell you. Chay still laughs about how Keith held on to Chay's arm during the ride...

ok well by far my favorite day was the last- Busch Gardens. I'm not sure if it was just me being in a good mood, or the perfect weather, or that barely no one was in the park that day- but I just loved every minute of that place. First of all it was breathtakingly beautiful. The landscaping was just amazing. They had shows going on all over ranging from African tribal, 3-D, river dance, beep bop into the 50's. The rides were out of control and no lines to wait in. There were 6 or so huge roller coasters and 2 of them are in the top 10. It was just fun. They had a huge area just for kids Kenzie's size. She loved riding the planes, boats, carousal with Grandma, the tree house- Plus it was a zoo! You would walk from one place to another and suddenly you would come across this 12 foot crocodile (in a cage of course) We went on a train ride through this savanna type area where there were elephants, Rynosaurus, giraffes, zebras, ostridges- it was so not what we are used to. So yes- I really enjoyed Busch Gardens. My dad really enjoyed it too-

My dad is the sweetest most amazing man. He is a protector. He takes care of his wife and everyone knows it. He was so calm on this trip- If mom and dad were separated for some reason he would always tell me, "you take care of mom and don't let her get on any rides that will hurt her back" At one random time he came up to me and said, "April you are so special" my heart would just throb. He also said on Sunday, "You looked so beautiful at church with Kenzie asleep on your shoulder" I love my daddy. What a man he is. These are the memories I will treasure up forever.



Sunday we went to Church. This is what I love about my family. We were surrounded by so many things to do and yet we set it all aside to attend the Lord's church. The speaker was a little quirky as he compared the gospel to BYU's food cafeteria and the world to his elementary school's cafeteria- but nonetheless we took the sacrament and had family home evening that night. Alyssa sang a primary song by herself and it made me just love and adore her- We sang "give said the little stream" as a family. We talked about family history, motherhood and the priesthood.

Favorite Memories:

Joette's ham sandwich getting ripped out of her hands by a seagull (I felt like I was reliving Alfred Hitchcock's "the birds")

Mom cranking her scooter up to "rabbit" speed at Costco.

Mom stopping her scooter next to two ladies who were on scooters too and asking them if they wanted to race- (I could seriously write a book on "Mom's scooter adventures")

Keith taking the scooter for a spin as his old motocross days emerge- tilting it and riding it on 2 wheels...it was just so funny to witness- we were all so fascinated by this thing- it was like we would pass up any rollar coaster to take a ride on mom's scooter.

Sitting in the hot tub with Chay and Keith during a lightning storm- I know it sounds retarded but it was great to see Keith get all so excited- we got out once the thunder sounded a little too close...

Walking through a major rain storm in Magic Kingdom- we didn't have ponchos so little Julia just endured the drops. She would just lick the water as it poured down her face.

Going with Chay on the Montu 3 times...I love that roller coaster. ..and the sheikra...oh my!
Swimming at night with Chay.

Seeing Kenzie love the pool- I bought a swimsuit with the blow up floaters inside- I recommend these! She could swim by herself!



The boys and their late nights with Monsters and PS motocross-

Listening to Isaac tell stories in the Van-

Watching Kenzie play with AJ and Isaac.

Bryon road ragin, Keith GPS'n, April MS'n, Joette PMS'n

-road trips, walmart trips, guilt trips, space mountain trips
All of us gathered in Mom and Dad's suite- trying to all fit on their huge bed.
Mckenzie flirting with Taylor
speed scrabble
Chay wanting to spend time with just me by the end of the trip
I have never breastfed in so many public places
the dolphin show
the feeling I'd get when I would find a family member in a big crowd of people
Kenzie and julia falling asleep on the plane!
Bryon playing with my kids
Lorena's patience with our family
Calie's out of control energy
Joette's passion for the simple things in traveling
Taylor's love for kids
Ashlee's creativity and love for my children
Alyssa's easy company
Mom's love for flowers and fireworks- leadership skills
white bread flimsy sandwiches
seeing Janna!
Chay breaking both of our sun glasses in one shot- he put them in his pocket.
Keith's ways of prioritizing- putting his family first.
Chay being ever so handsome.


ok well I am getting sick of writing- overall it was wonderful to be together with my family- I can't believe we did it! It is over and I just want to go back.

or bust

Well we are packing for the big trip and I don't know why I am writing a post...because the majority of my readers will be with me in Florida!!! 8 days in the sun, with Chay, with my Mom and Dad and siblings who are so incredibly funny. It will be wonderful and I probably won't write much on my blog...But here is a family picture to carry my blog through until the next time I write. Orlando or bust!

heart day

Valentine's Day met us cold. Our power went out yesterday around 3 in the afternoon and it finally returned sometime noonish today. Last night we kept the house warm with our woodstove! I never knew this oldy but goody stove, which comes with the 1950 home package would be such a lifesaver. We went and got some wood and well...memories flooded in from childhood. The smell brought me back to the home I grew up in. We had a woodstove in the upstairs and the downstairs of my old house. I remember going every summer to get firewood up in the woods. I remember my dad chopping it and us kids stacking it.

So by the morning the fire kind of went out and our thermostat read 50 degrees. burrrrr- but all in all it was ok...especially when I noticed Chay's little surprise for me- a neatly wrapped Valentine gift sitting on the counter. The way he wraps his gifts is almost more fun than the present itself. He takes so much time- the gift was wrapped in the free newspaper stuff we took from Albertson's last night to help start a fire. He decorated the outside with flowers cut out from a store ad- and a "finding nemo" sticker the hospital gave us last night to entertain Kenzie. (Don't worry- I thought Julia had an ear infection but she doesn't) anyway- it was just sentimental wrapping- Chay really knows how to show how much he cares.
He bought me the prequel to the Da Vinci Code "Angels & Demons" (the illustrated version) I opened the first page and read the first paragraph and said, "oh great...another 'I won't be able to put this down' book". It was so thoughtful of Chay.

I drove all the way into his work today with the girls to surprise him. He called me several times that day acting a little bored so it made the surprise all the better. It was quite the adventure getting to his work with far away parking, construction, stairs, big stroller, narrow escalators, Mexicans offering to life the stroller up and over the escalators...let's just say when I finally reached the 10th floor of Chay's building I was a little winded. I greeted him with a red bag of cubicle desk goodies and his three darling girls of course. He later told me in the car ride home "when I first saw you it was really strange" how romantic. It is good to see where Chay lives his other half of life. He has great co-workers.

Well anyway- I love Valentine's Day- another reason to celebrate how blessed we are to be surrounded by loved ones. Good night...my Valentine wants to watch a movie...so I better go.

chay glimpse

A real sincere side of Chay comes out when he writes. Here is a comment he left on my mom's blog.

Chay said...

"Edk, Lately I've been reading a lot of the family blogs and want you to know that I love reading yours. I can feel your faith and strength that you possess and openly share with everyone. Though you might not know it, you are a great strength and example to not only April and I but to your whole family and the many generations to come. I don't comment often on blogs, but I couldn't pass this up. Thanks for your love and letting me marry your daughter. We love you Mom. Kenzie is really learning how to pray and it's very touching seeing her kneel down, bow her head, close her eyes and fold her little arms. We help her with the words, but it's always touching when she whispers "bless grandma" in her prayers and closes the prayer. I love you Edk....give Gary a hug for me. See you soon."

as of lately

Called the cops on my neighbor who lives behind us

Keith and Bev gave us our Christmas stockings and stayed the night

Came into the living room this evening to find Chay shirtless laying on his stomach with a post-it note stuck to his back that read "scratch me".

Gave Julia a little rocket (suppository) - those really work well- her rice cereal kind of plugged her up I think

Planned the meals and grocery list for our 8 day vacation to Orlando.

Went to Gage's 1 year birthday party

Broke the Sabbath to buy Julia some more colic pills and gas drops- she is so achy tonight-what a little sensitive system that girl has-

Talked to Tonya on the phone for about an hour tonight- it was great to talk to her- I too still prefer phone calls-

Heard sirens really close to our house tonight, ran outside and smelled smoke and yelled really loud, "oh my gosh I think someone's house is on fire!" then looked over and saw my neighbor Bill smoking his cigarette...he just laughed and said, "it's just me"

ok well there is probably more but I need to cut this short. My family is more important than my blog. I need to go "scratch" Chay's back and spend time with him. My inner core... my gift of the Holy Ghost tells me that I spend a little too much time on the computer so I need to adjust my priorities a little. Good night.

ok regardless of how we might say we don't like these email forward survey things you know deep down inside they are fun to read from family and friends and fun to fill out- if you have the time that is- so I am actually replying joette and even posting this so other friends and family can fill it out and post it if they want- I just like to read about other people's lives-


1. What time is it? 9:28
2. What's your full name? April Eileen Tomblin Clark
3.What are you most afraid off? starting new things, losing a child, failure, not getting the most out of life,
4.What is the most recent movie that you have seen in the theater? I seriously can't remember...I can't even remember the last theatre I went to
5.Place of birth? Spokane, Washington
6.Favorite food? oh gosh anything- I like Mexican the best but really anything with pumpkin
7.What is your natural hair color? brown- but it is getting darker as we speak
8.Ever been to Alaska? Nope, but I'd like to go one day I guess
9.Ever been toilet papering? too many times- oh the good ol days
10.Love someone so much it made you cry? I'm a mother what do you think? I cry over people I don't know.
11.Been in a car accident? oh my we rolled three times, I hit sheri once and Jim Stroh once...
12.Croutons or bacon bits? I do like the crunch in my salad but would prefer sunflower seeds with peas..snap snap
13.Favorite day of the week?- everyday is the same besides Sunday- so I like Sundays! I get out of the house!
14.Favorite restaurant?- it used to be sizzlers, I want to say the Braza Grill but I've never been there- I need to get out more- I would like to try something new...hmmmm too expensive. I would rather cook something new than go somewhere new...unless I didn't have kids around of course.
15.Favorite Flower?- I like all flowers but Orchids are cool= petunias remind me of mom- I like leaves...
16.Favorite sport to watch?- probably basketball
17.Favorite drink?- I had a pina colada the other night and I was amazed at how good something could taste. I love freshy fresh- but mostly water.
18.Disney or Warner Brothers?- both I guess for totally different reasons
19.Ever been on a ship?- warship? no- Cruise line? no- Ferry? yes...I've played battle ship before.
20.What color is your bedroom carpet?- no carpet- wood floors
21.How many times did you fail your drivers test?- not once- aced it the first time- drivers ed? now that is a different story- good thing the teacher had a crush on me-
22.Before this one, from whom did you get your last e-mail? My mommy
23.What do you do when you get bored? I dink around on the internet, eat, read a book, clean something, play sudoku
24.bedtime? oh man who knows- usually around 11:00 or midnight, but then I wake up 2,4,6- I'm sleep deprived- have been for 2 years- I dream of the day where I can sleep 8 full hours...oh heaven
25.Favorite TV show?- I watch Oprah everyday- The office is funny, I like American Idol, the T.V is in the basement so I rarely go down there-
26.Last person you went to dinner with? The primary presidency- baby shower. That is where I ordered the pina colada.
27.What are you doing right now besides being on the computer? absolutely nothing...aging...that is about it.
28.What are your favorite colors? green and brown
29.How many tattoos do you have?- one...just kidding joette- none- just moles
30.How many pets do you have?- no pets- but I have softened over the years knowing that despite my disliking of dog poop, buying food- clean up- Kenzie will love to have a dog so maybe down the road- when she is 15- no- I don't know- we will see.
31.Have you ever been to Hawaii?- never been- not a goal of mine either
32.Have you been to countries outside the U.S.? Let's see- Canada, mexico, Brasil
33.Last book you read and finished? The Da Vinci Code- pretty exciting
34. One thing you like about yourself? logical, observant, good taste, love to laugh
35. One thing you dislike about yourself? I play the victim sometimes when I am feeling overly sensitive- usually a sign I need to read my scriptures and pray more- I also base my worth on accomplishing things- not good.
36. democrat or republican? I'm pro life, I support the war, marriage should only be between man and woman- but I like some of the democrat's pushes on government programs- student grants, WIC, so I'm a mixture- more towards the right- Bush makes mistakes like any president...I am political I suppose but I just look to what is right and wrong more than just choose blue or red.
37. Your ideal day? perfect weather, on a trail- working hard, swimming,- maybe creating something with the time and money to do it- maybe shopping with someone who likes to shop- finding good deals- laughing really hard all day. Being busy...
38. What time is is? 10:00

my musician

american idol?





I wonder what she is feeling sometimes...she sounds a little dramatic for her age-

dinner's ready

you mean grandpa-licious?

We found this ad in yesterday's mail- we were laughing so hard at "grandma"
-a little scary--nothing against your food...

I found the ad on-line and I had to post it...

if Chay never gets a boy...I think he'll be ok with Kenzie

I wish this was more clear- look at that smile- oh so so cute my little ju ju

recipes

ok all you mad monday menu makers (marne, tami, tiff) here are a few recipes that are so delicious...plus all three of these recipes have ingredients that are on sale right now at Smith's- oh and this morning I went shopping and I think I will always shop early monday mornings- there was a ton of good meat that was "reduced for quick sale"

These recipes feed our small family comfortably- one serving each with leftovers for lunch the next day so you might want to double them.

This one is so simple and a food storage delight! Soo good

Creamy Tortilla Soup

2 cans (14.5 ounces) diced tomatoes with chilies (I made it with medium heat- a little zingy- Smith's has Del Monte canned tomatoes with chilies mild on sale right now)
2 cans (14.5 ounces) chicken broth
1 can refried beans (I love the brand Rosarita- you can buy a large case of these at Costco for $6 something- oh I puree these for Chay-He doesn't like the texture of beans)
1 cup canned corn- I put in the whole can
2-3 cups cooked chicken shredded or cubed
cilantro, sour cream, Monterey Jack Cheese

Combine tomatoes and broth. Stir in beans and corn. Bring to boil, reduce heat and simmer 5 minutes stirring frequently. Add Chicken and heat through- Top with sour cream, cilantro, cheese, chips- I think it would be good with a bread bowl-


This turned out to be so tasty- better than the restaurant



Broccoli and Beef stir-fry

4 tbsp corn starch
1/2 cup plus 3 tbsp water
1/2 tsp minced garlic
1 lb round steak- cut into strips (I used sirloin top steak- found it super cheap at smith's)
olive oil- you can use vegetable oil obviously- grape seed oil is by far the best to stir fry with- it is so good for you- plus it cooks the best- albertson's sells it.
4 cups fresh broccoli
1 onion cut into wedges
1/3 cup soy sauce
2 tbsp brown sugar
1 tsp ground ginger
Cooked brown rice

In a bowl, combine 3 tbsp cornstarch with 3 tbsp water until smooth. Add beef strips and toss. In a large skillet or wok over medium heat- stir fry beef in 1 tbsp oil until beef reaches desired doneness; remove and keep warm. Stir fry broccoli and onion (add other vegetables too if you want) for 5-6 minutes. Return beef to pan. Combine soy sauce, garlic, brown sugar, ginger, and remaining cornstarch and water until smooth; add to the pan- cook and stir for 2-3 minutes- serve over rice.

Ok the next recipe I am passionate about- I am not joking- it is so incredibly delicious- Chay still talks about it- I think I will make this for my family in Orlando- I feel like Rachael Ray when I am making it-



Italian Rigatoni

1 (12 ounces) package Rigatoni
1 1/2 pounds italian sausage cut into 1 inch pieces (on sale at Smith's- I used only 3 sausage links)
1 large onion chopped
3 cloves garlic minced
2 cans (14.5 ounces) italian diced tomatoes undrained (basil, oregano and garlic Del Monte diced tomatoes are on sale this week for $.50 a can- not incredibly cheap but they are so dang good- so who cares- I bought 25 cans today.
1/4 cup chopped cilantro
1 tsp basil leaves- or ground I suppose
1 tsp thyme leaves- ground if you want
salt and pepper to taste
3 tbsp butter- secret ingredient- so it’s a little fatty- but come on- just enjoy it.

In a large skillet, cook sausage until brown. Add onion and garlic and sauté with sausage. Add tomatoes, cilantro, basil, thyme, salt, pepper and butter. Cover and let simmer for 20 minutes. Serve over rigatoni pasta. Garnish with cheese of choice-Mozzarella and/or Parmesan

snow

Chay spent the morning shoveling out people's driveways so they could make it to Sacrament. Another neighbor from the ward whom I have a tender spot in my heart for was out all morning with his snow blower clearing out people's driveways also. When we got to church we could hear the congregation singing a cappella. No pianist. When we walked into the chapel there were only about 20 people. We were the only family with children. Where were all the people?

Those who decided to stay home really missed out on a powerful testimony meeting. The spirit was so strong. I am so amazed with the faith of some of our ward members. The lives they lead are so humble and simple yet they are the most Christ-like people I know.

We are getting so much dang snow I can't believe it!- sunday school and primary were cancelled today and our church is just 2 minutes away! I can't remember the last time I have seen so much snow.

woke up at 9 to clean the church
dropped Chay off at another church for men's basketball
10 o'clock was the primary valentine activity
Eleven was President Hinckley's funeral
prepared Holy Ghost talk
Gave the talk at the baptism at 5

a little building of the kingdom I'd say

oh and a little heart breaker- the girl who was baptized tonight comes from an inactive family. Her name is Jacee. Her parents really wanted their child to be baptized even though they don't attend church and they drop her off every Sunday for a couple hours so they can shop or whatever- free babysitting-

Well tonight the mother seemed a little touched by the spirit so I went up to her afterwards and asked if Jacee would be coming to church tomorrow with the hopes she would talk in primary about her baptism. She wouldn't even make eye contact with me- treating me like I was an annoying salesman or something. She finally said, "I don't make Jacee go, it is her decision if she wants to go" What? So I asked Jacee if she would speak tomorrow in primary for a few seconds about her baptism. Her hair still wet, "I don't think I want to come tomorrow" I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I then said, "Hey you just made a covenant with the Lord, you need to go to church girl" I sort of smiled when I said it- but I was serious- she just smiled. ok- I just wanted to scream...but I was in the church...and so it didn't seem appropriate.

february

it's the month of love....time to celebrate...

a great man

It has been truly amazing to see my father change over the years since his baptism and especially since my mom has been sick. The following words were written by my mom on her blog:

"Last night I woke up around 3:00AM. I was really in pain with my cracked feet. It is caused from the new chemo I am on, and you cannot believe how much something so little can hurt. Anyway, my honey bunny was so sweet to me. We talked a little about my pending death and rather or not I would make it to Orlando. I begged him to go even if I cannot. Then I asked him if he would give me a blessing of comfort. It is always hard for him to assist in blessings, let alone give them. I don't know if this was irreverent or not, but I just asked him to lay next to me and put his hand on my head and give me a blessing. It was so tender...this man who used to be so callused and far from the spirit ...reaching out and in just above a whisper asking the Lord to help my feet and hands to heal, asking that I might be able to sleep and that I would know what to do about this chemo; if I should continue with it or not. He also asked Heavenly Father to please keep me well enough to go to Orlando. Then we just held each other and he let me cry awhile. This morning it was him and not me that suggested we read the scriptures together. That is the first time in my life he has asked to read the scriptures together.

Sometimes I question why I have to go through cancer, and then I see the growth my husband has made, and the increasing love in our marriage and I am okay with it. I am so thankful for my husband's love and concern. God bless this great man." ~ mom

sleeping

My eyes froze to the TV when I heard on the news the church was going to have a public viewing for the prophet. My heart started to pound and my eyes filled up with tears. "I'm going". I knew it would be a healing moment for me.

Before today I had never seen a dead person. For some reason I have this fear of death. Not so much dying and going home to Heavenly Father but more of how the spirit leaves the body behind here on earth. So I think my uneasiness about death is the body- I don't like the concept of the body being empty without the spirit, without breath- maybe it's a lonely feeling I feel or maybe the great "unknown" death brings- As much as I was completely fascinated with my Anatomy and Physiology classes in college, I always chickened out at the last minute before we entered the rooms where the cadavers were kept. It is hard for me to look at a body and know at one time someone beautiful, talented, funny, with lots of expression, with trials, hopes and dreams lived inside this body and now- they are gone- everything people loved about them is gone and all you have left is this body that looks just like them- but they are gone. It is kind of scary to me. Am I making sense at all? I can't really explain what I feel-

I knew seeing President Hinckley's body would be an answer to prayer. Heavenly Father wanted me to go. I could feel the adversary working against me yesterday and this morning. I talked to a lady in the stake who told me the lines to get into the conference center would be long and we would spend half the morning in the freezing cold. I started to question going knowing how horrible it would be to stand out in the cold with 2 little kids and have Chay miss a lot of work. I just told myself "I'm going, I don't care, I'm going." Julia was up all night last night with horrible gas. Chay pushed snooze on the alarm clock in his sleep so we woke up an hour later than we were supposed to. I prayed the night before for everything to run smoothly and it seemed to be going only the contrary. This morning I was about to just call it quits when Kenzie woke up in a bad mood and tried to resist putting on a dress and then of course Julia continued to grunt and fuss- but I was adamant on going and the spirit drove me past the discouragement.

Traffic was near perfect and ever flowing so nicely. We arrived at the conference center and found a close parking spot within minutes. Kenzie lifted our spirits even more as she pointed to the temple and said "tomple, tomple" The lines were small. The conference center was breath taking. As we entered the building we could hear a recording of the Mormon Tabernacle Choir and well...that did it for me- tears...and tears... Everyone was so kind and quiet. The line stretched through the building but moved quickly. I was very emotional. The spirit was so incredibly strong. I could feel everyone's love for President Hinckley. Mckenzie was so reverent as she clung on to my hand. It was just a priceless moment. We finally arrived to the room where our past prophet laid so peacefully in his casket. He was surrounded by huge bouquets of roses and other flowers. I walked slowly as I tried to take it all in.

He was gone. Before my eyes was only the body of President Hinckley- He looked peaceful, soft, warm, and lifeless. "He isn't there" I thought to myself. "His hands, his chest, his face- nothing is moving." He had a nice color and he had almost a slight smile it seemed. Seeing him dressed in his temple clothes, hearing the choir in the background, flowers everywhere you looked, Chay teary eyed- it all came together for me and I felt an enormous healing within me. It was beautiful.

I held up Mckenzie so she could see. I told her that man was our dear prophet. She looked a little confused and said, "sleeping... pofet...sleeping"

It was a perfect morning and I thank Heavenly Father for making it so special for my family.

book report

ok so I haven't been the best blogger lately. I have been a little preoccupied.

I've been reading. I just finished the Da Vinci Code. I know I'm like the last person on the planet to read it.

On Sunday our Gospel Doctrine teacher started out the class by asking what we did last week. My mind went blank as peopled rattled off their adventurous week: skiing, Jazz game, traveled...etc. Then I remembered I've been annoyingly immersed in my book all week so I raised my hand and told the teacher I was reading the Da Vinci Code. We then started to talk about how it was interesting but not necessarily true...and can be a little far fetched in some spots- you know- just the normal conversation most would have about the book... then suddenly the second counselor in the stake presidency interrupts and as he holds up a book he says "what you should be reading is this,"Draw Closer to God" by Elder Eyring." I just started to laugh and I said, "well I'm not endorsing the Da Vinci Code or bearing my testimony about it, I was just saying what I did this week" The class was laughing and then it was over...or so I thought. Then I get a letter passed to me 10 minutes later from the 2nd Counselor and he apologized for what he said in front of everyone. I later told him I wasn't even offended and to not worry about it. Well on Monday he calls me! He apologized again but he had a different motive this time. He asked me if I was a return missionary and if I was the wife of the Elder's Quorum president. He knows already the answers to his questions so he continued on to tell me I needed to be careful what I read and what I say in front of others. I couldn't believe it! All I could say to him was "ok" not really knowing yet how to process the phone call and our conversation. Am I past feeling? Do any of you out there find the book offensive? I consider myself to be blessed with open mindedness and to simply enjoy research done on symbolism, cultures, history...even religion. I know things aren't true all the time but it is fun nonetheless to theorize, speculate, imagine...so maybe there is some logic to Christ getting married but honestly I just need to work on being a better visiting teacher...

anyway so I've decided out of much thought that I am not ashamed to have read the book. I disagree with some of it, liked some of it, want to go to Europe because of it... facinating places I tell you- my book was the illustraded edition-

While reading the Da Vinci Code I found it quite interesting how one could get so caught up in something good to where nothing but bad results from it. Bad choices, bad reasoning, bad morals- all for the power of knowing and finding the grail...a sacred righteous symbol of things most holy- a great lesson was taught in this book.

ok well that is it for now- I could obviously talk about the book more but maybe later when we are together sitting on couches and have all the time in the world.

we thank Thee

We thank Thee O God for a prophet.

As I knelt in prayer tonight the first thing that came out of my mouth was, "Our prophet is back home with Thee now. How wonderful it must be to have him in Thy presence. We loved him so dearly."

So I'm emotional and so is my mom and so is my sister...we all cried together as we rejoiced over President Hinckley's amazing life. Every time the choir would sing "God be with you till we meet again" at the end of each conference I would just bawl like a baby knowing this might be the last conference with President Hinckley. I know he was a prophet of God.

Mckenzie is only 2. He will only be a picture and a name to her...I will have to tell her how strong and simple he was. How funny he was- how many temples were built because of him, how much he loved his wife Marjorie...He was a man of faith- never doubting. He will be missed greatly.

Oh death...so interesting isn't it? It breaks our hearts in every way, leaves a void in our life-and yet we know somehow that it is wonderful and an essential part of the plan.

goodbye our dear prophet.

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before I was a mom

something like this was forwarded to my mom- then forwarded to me- so I liked the concept and changed it a bunch, added new words- to fit me better...

before I was a mom

I never tripped over toys when I got out of bed.
I didn't worry about the plug-in outlets being covered.
I never thought about immunizations.

I had a nice stomach.
I didn't wear worn out nursing bras.
I got out of the house daily.

I never knew I could handle so much pain in child birth.
I never knew I could be so strong.

before I was a mom

I had never been puked on.
Pooped on.
Chewed on.
Sucked on.
Peed on.

I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts. I wasn't hazy all day.
I slept all night.
I rarely lost my temper.
I could do whatever I wanted without scheduling it around nap time.
I would sing songs from the radio and not "popcorn popping".

before I was a mom

I never held down a screaming child so doctors could give them shots.
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

before I was a mom

I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put him down.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much.
I never knew how protective I would become.
I never knew that I could love someone so much.
I never knew I would love being a Mom.

before I was a mom -

I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.
I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby.
I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child.
I didn't know my capacity to love would grow so much.
I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy.

before I was a Mom -

I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure all was ok.
I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, the wonderment or the satisfaction of being a mother.

I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much-

before I was a mom.

hanger love

oh to explain the constant blowing....ju ju likes it...and it makes her smile...whatever it takes right?

magic carpet

so....here it lies so peacefully on the floor- tucked away in a corner- waiting to be sat on.

It is the time-out rug... or sometimes the naughty rug, just depends whatever comes out of mommy or daddy's mouth first-Well whatever it's called it works wonders with little Mckenzie- she hates the rug, she hates the thought of it, she will do whatever she can to stay far far away from it as possible- she will even obey her parents!

It took only a few trips to the rug for her to know how serious we were and oh boy have we seen a night and day difference in Kenzie.

How long will this last? How long will she fear a simple fabricated object knitted so neatly out of whatever it is it's knitted out of? Who knows- It was a $2.99 Ross purchase. It is brown. It is portable (it can even go to Grandma's house)...and it does magic tricks and flies...ok not really-

quote

We have this quote written on a little piece of paper which is creased in a million places. Chay had it stuck away in his scriptures for some time. Then it went on this corkboard we used to have hanging up in all our apartments...and then maybe to the fridge a couple times- I just found it in a pile of "go throughs" and it made me smile knowing it has done much traveling the last 4 years- and I felt it worthy to post. It is beautifully and powerfully written. Without reading the words the quote reminds me of Chay's humbleness and all the places we have lived since we've been married.- And then of course the quote in itself reminds me our divinity as children of God. I'm sure you've read it once before- it is definitly an all time classic.


"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves, "Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?"
Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God.
Your playing small doesn't serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do.

We were born to make manifest the glory of God within us.
It is not just in some of us; it is in all of us, in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automaically liberates others." ~Marianne Williamson