mommyhood

I like potty teaching.

A lot of moms do not. Emily from church said her Hell would be potty training for eternity.

I sort of like the challenge. It gets me kind of excited. I think I am good at it.

"Let's hear the poop plop Ju Ju! Let's hear the plop! Music to my ears! I love seeing your poop and pee in the toilet!"

But I am horrible at other "mother" things. I can't let a baby cry at night. My babies are not the best sleepers because of it. I can't seem to wing Ju-Ju from the Binki. She just loves that thing so much at night time...I don't have the heart yet to give it to the Binki Fairy just yet. I am weak...and lazy. I love how nicely she goes to sleep every night with it...

But potty teaching I have handled pretty well so far. I have some great techniques that I think work well. 2 for 2. I think it is all about the preparation and persistence that seems to make it a good experience. But I have heard boys can be a nightmare to potty teach. I may just hate potty training if I ever have a boy.

Julia has been diaper free for 2 weeks now. She is a little champ. She had to be pushed a little at first and then she decided all on her own one day she didn't want to wear diapers. That made it easy! Maybe I shouldn't take any credit for her...but again she was a horrible baby so maybe mercy is kicking in.

I've been practicing my song on the piano...slow moving but coming along. I can't seem to play the top hand and bottom hand together very well...that could be a problem- but it will come...oh what a beautiful song.



Julia was wide awake in her crib when I got home from the club last night. She heard me walk in and she yelled, "Mommy yrrrr home!" We stayed up until 11 just talking and singing every disney song. She always asks me to sing for her. She slept with us and when I woke up later, Kenzie was in bed with us too! LOL...oh dear. Including my abnormally premature big belly that is 5 on a queen bed. For some reason I wasn't all too bugged...because normally I would be. But it felt good to be together for about 10 minutes...and then I got bugged...the "togetherness" didn't last long but it was nice while it did.



...had an ultrasound the other day...I finally decided to go to the doctor. I have an amazing midwife who I already love. Mother of 7. She will be perfect for the birth...

so the ultrasound was amazing and made these past 3 months of hell so so worth it. There the baby was- swimming around alive big and healthy- the girls were with me and they sat so still and intrigued as they watched the TV screen. My midwife says that it is 95% BOY! ...she was pretty sure she saw "boyhood" but the umbilical cord was sitting close...Chay later said, "it was not an umbilical cord."



grateful to be a mommy today...

chay pretending to be me

So I sat down to blog something. I opened up my blogger to write a post but somehow got sidetracked with kids screaming or whatever- I don't know- but I didn't write more than one sentence...and then I got really sidetracked and never returned to the computer until late at night after everyone was asleep. And this is what I found "already" written on my post. One of the many reasons not to leave the post page open and unprotected. So I have to post it now...it is too funny not to...oh the sarcasm...just so you know- this post is FULL of sarcasm and satire...funny Chay...real funny:

I can't believe I am married to Chay. I am so so so lucky. Of course we are madly in love and he is such an incredible husband and father. He may seem like the nicest guy to everyone but he is 10 times that as a father and husband. Even though he's got millions of dollars in the bank from his "wheelin' and dealin'" he still makes it a priority to get up everyday at 4:45 and do the paper route. He says that even though we don't need the money that its a good reminder to all of us of the value of hard work.

His birthday is coming up in a couple months. Chay has tons of "man toys" but the one that he doesn't have yet is a Yamaha R6 motorbike. I think that will be the perfect surprise for him (don't you?). I can't wait to see the look on his face when he sees it in the driveway with a big birthday bow on it for him. I'm also planning a surprise dirt bike trip with him and his best friend John down in Moab. After that Chay and I will have his favvvvvorite sister Tara babysit our girls for 2 weeks while we fly to Europe and visit a bunch of sites.

Chay is devoted to be the best person he can possibly be. Whether it be fulfilling a church calling, as an employee, boss, dad, husband, citizen, President of Chaymerica, on the racetrack, closing deals, helping old Grandmas cross the street or even saving a family's cat from a burning house....he does it 110%. I honestly don't know how he does it all. I get so happy and twitterpated when he walks in the door and I'm honored to make him a 3 course meal each night. One thing that melts Chay's heart is when I scratch his back and rub his feet while we talk for hours about Gospel doctrine. I am sooooo blessed to have Chay as my husband...I'm just in awe right now thinking about it.

Exactly where is this Chaymerica?

thoughts

still alive...still pregnant...still sick...

I go in sick spurts. Being around adults seem to help me. Usually I try to fake that I'm not sick. Doesn't work all the time. If I have food in my stomach at all times it seems to help settle things- hence the butt is growing faster than the belly.- if I go too long without food or if I eat the wrong food, I get off track and I will throw up all day.

I am so entirely wasted. So tired. Like "I can't do anything" tired. I need the sun. I really miss sunshine. When I am sick like this I always think of the Indians and the Pioneers who had no choice but to keep working, keep moving, keep surviving despite horrid morning sickness...oh I would be the worst pioneer. Don't you love the pity party??? Don't worry, I am fully aware of it.

I need a trip to Hawaii. I need a maid too...oh that would be nice.

other thoughts:

Haiti is on my mind a lot these days. I really get sucked into stuff like this. CNN has the best coverage. I watch it whenever I can- I can't even imagine going through what these people are experiencing. I sit on my couch watching the news and when stories air where Haitian mother's are searching for their children in the rubble- I lose it every time. Tears of sadness.

If you want to donate money but are a little worried how much of your money will actually go to Haiti- donate here http://give.lds.org/emergencyresponse all your money will go directly towards helping Haiti. You can read what the church has done HERE for Haiti.

Christmas thoughts:



Joette knocked on my door a couple days before Christmas. She drove down to surprise me. I cried like a baby when I saw her. I needed family so bad. I actually felt more alive with her here. Being sick is so emotionally draining. It was a tender mercy to have my sister with the family this year. Christmas was magical. My girls loved having Joette around. The house was always clean when she was here.






Her Christmas gifts to me were my favorite gifts. She played my piano every day for a week straight and she bought me wash rags. I LOVE the wash rags Joette. I love the endless supply in my bottom drawer. Rags just keep coming and coming.

One of the songs Joette played for me on the piano is Comptine d´un autre été l´après midi. Joette played it so beautifully. I fell in love with the song. Oh how I wish I could play it. Music really draws out many feelings in me- it kind of takes me to another place if you know what I mean. Joette and I both agreed if we were professional musicians (which we are far from), our goal would not to only entertain our listeners but to allow our listeners to take the music and go to their own place with it, to make it a personal experience. That would be the goal. meaningful- we would shoot for meaningful.

Do you want to hear the song? oh and the video- I don't really think of trees when I hear this song but this is the best video I could find. Enjoy. oh the piano. Blessed piano.



since I haven't blogged for a month or so...a lot of things have happened. My dad got married a couple weeks ago. Kind of a bittersweet moment. I am just so grateful for my siblings. I feel like my brothers and sister are my stability right now in my immediate family. We are all kind of in this together. Although it seems I'm the only one who isn't handling all the changes that well...maybe it's because I'm the baby of the family...I might just still be in denial.- ...having a hard time letting go of the family structure I grew up with.

But I am happy for my Dad. I really love his new wife Kay. I just miss Mom. What can I say? I miss having a mother who always cared, always called, always listened, always gave me support, always reminded me how much I am loved. I miss that. I miss her.

All I know is our parents must have done something right, because us siblings are very close friends and would do anything for each other. We understand each other's quirks...and somehow the relationship foundation we have is more important than petty miscommunication silly stuff that some families deal with. Although I do remember when we were little Bryon locking me in dark rooms, giving me dead legs until my legs were blue, and pinning me down to either halk loogies or fart in my face. Joette and I had our fair share of fist fights and Keith was always beating up Bryon for beating up on his sisters...let's just say we have come a long way.

I looked this afternoon for a picture of us kids when we were younger to scan...no luck- got too tired. We were a cute bunch us Tomblin kids.

this guy

I am thankful for this guy



he has been doing it all this past month

paper route
work
school
family
dinner
taking care of sick kids
sick wife
calling
daddy

he's not always the most happy when his wife is sick...but he is willing...he is doing so much right now to just keep it all together. It has been sort of rough around here for awhile-

and yet Chay keeps plugging along...



I really appreciate you.

love you Chay.

pictures taken by JANNA

mary

Today in church I sang and played a song about Mary and her feelings for her son, Jesus.

I have been practicing the song for awhile, mainly the piano part...because I'm not a piano player...well I don't read notes very well.

The song touched me more and more every time I sang it...and I feel like I understand Mary better by singing it so many times.

I think about Mary a lot. Especially now that it's Christmas time and also that I am pregnant. Did Mary have morning sickness with Jesus? And how could she ever complain?...I'm sure she didn't.

I'm so glad I'm not Mary.

But I think I wish to emulate her. Although there are very few scriptures that talk about her, I honor her and I imagine her being simple, strong, faithful, obedient...

I want to meet her someday.

here are the lyrics to the song:

I Just Knew- by Cherie Call

He's the son of a King
But He came to us with nothing
No purple robe
no crust of bread

With his soft tiny hands
He reached out for me to hold him
There was no crown upon his head

So I guess that I should not have been surprised
When I saw the human tears in his holy infant eyes

And no one ever taught me how to sing
A lullabye to the Son of a mighty King
But when I held him in my arms and I rocked him just the way that mothers do.
I just knew.

Just as we knew he'd be
He lived so selflessly
He was a legend in the land

And people came from far and wide
And looked at Him with pleading eyes
Longing for the healing in his hands

and in those endless busy days
He still had time for me, He always found a way

And no one ever taught me how to love
A healer and a teacher sent from up above
But when he cared for me and helped me in the tender way that only He could do.
I just knew.

In sunlit moments I could see me in the traces of His smile.
I know he came from me
but he was better than this world would allow.

I could not save Him when he died.
And now it seems that he's the one who holds me when I cry.
And everybody asks me how I'm sure
the little boy I raised is our Redeemer

I could list the dreams and prophecies and miracles that prove his mission true
but in all honesty
every moment I was with him
I just knew.

Aren't those just simple personal real words?

mckenzie jo

my sunshine girl is 4 today.

She wants to be 4.
I want her to be 3.
4 is too close to 5.

The birthday fairy made a visit to her room in the middle of the night and left 4 balloons.

Pancakes this morning with 4 candles on top to blow out.



A snowman and sledding with Julia and Gage- and of course 4 wheeling with Daddy...even though Daddy wasn't feeling well at all and has been drinking Thera-flu all day...I thought at least a ride in the snow on the little 4 wheeler would put a smile on his face...

A much needed nap.

Off to Chucky Cheese with Cake and Pizza! Big Day.

Thanks Tara and Niels for making the day so special!

tear tear I wish I could freeze littleness. I am really enjoying Kenzie right now in her life. Oh my little kind gentle girl. Always willing to help, so protective over Julia, you love to sing when you color...

- you were more excited than I was when Ju Ju went poo poo in the toilet tonight- your words, "oh my goodness Ju Ju I'm so excited...you get M&M's for doing such a great job!". I thought to myself, "wow, baby number three might not be so hard after all with this awesome big sister!"

I love love love you!



the really nice photos in this post were taken by JANNA

service

I hate being pregnant.

Sorry to those who love it. I promise I am not evil. And yes I will love my child. I always do.

Someone asked me today what I wanted for Christmas. That is easy: My first trimester wrapped up in a cute box with a bow and then thrown in the garbage.

When I am miserable I love to create unreal solutions to my problems.

I want to go to a First Trimester spa/resort getaway. At this resort I would be given all the latest alternative medicines that would take away all nausea. I would have this secluded bright room with a fireplace and the biggest bed with fluffy pillows and an electric blanket. My room would be overlooking a lake. I would have a professional massage twice a day. I could sleep whenever I wanted. I would be served hot soup, turkey, mashed potatoes and Popsicles...no poopy diapers to change, no dishes to wash, no laundry to do- just peaceful walks in nature, visits from friends and family all day long...oh how lovely that would be...even for a week.

since I don't have a first trimester spa to go to...

I survive. Like what most mother's who suffer from morning sickness do.

I am only 8/9 weeks pregnant...AHHHHH!! half there??? please tell me I am at least half way there!...

I know when I am feeling really wasted and sick- I wonder about that whole mind over matter thing and- is it really true that some kind of inner strength can make a horrible day a wonderful day?

Now I am jealous of girls who don't get morning sickness AND the girls who have inner strength.

My inner strength consists of "Come on Heavenly Father, lift me off this bed...I can get off this bed, I know I can"...30 minutes later "Come on April"... 30 minutes later "the girls are trying to make breakfast themselves....come on April" 30 minutes later "Kenzie, you can pour the milk yourself can't you?" and then suddenly the overwhelming urge to throw up gets me off the bed..."see I knew I could get up somehow"

I know I am supposed to be of service to others to help forget about my own trials. Until I get better at that, I would like to thank the small acts of service that have come my way. Tara and Tami thank you so very much for the frozen dinners. Oh what a blessing and for Tiffani's pregnancy package and for calling me all the time...I married into such a thoughtful family.

I am learning great lessons about service...

I am discovering however what helps me sort of...some things that actually keep my mind off of things...and the toilet.

People. When I am around people I feel better. Well some people- people I love.
Music. Playing the piano. Turning on Christmas music.
Coloring. I have been coloring pretty intensely with Kenzie lately- and it helps.
My bed. I almost giggle when it's nap time and I get to crawl into my bed.
Mashed potatoes, gravy, turkey/chicken, and milk. I must be having a boy.
Phone calls.

small tender mercies...

emily

happy birthday Emily. You are now 30...like me.

Emily is special to me. She is a great friend. She is so supportive when I call to talk about life. I trust her with my true true thoughts and feelings and that is big because... I can have really embarrassing thoughts and feelings.

I miss her. But I have been missing her for a long long time. In all the years we have been friends, we have only been in the same state twice for a small time maybe less than a year- we are always far apart- many miles apart- sometimes even countries and oceans apart.

But it proves to be ok.

Emily is very thoughtful, smart, kind, creative, intelligent, funny...I don't think she makes mistakes ever...she has a beautiful voice...and I miss her playing the guitar.

She is a great listener. I think I annoy her sometimes because she has sort of been a small outlet for me since Mom died. Sorry Emily...oh dear.

Well anyway happy birthday today. Your present is coming. Late but coming.

doctor visit

Here are some pictures from Chay's phone of Kenzie at the doctor's yesterday.

Kenzie for some reason asked the doctor afterwards, "do you like my shoes?"

events of yesterday

pictures taken by Janna Beecher. She does a lovely job doesn't she?



Yesterday Kenzie fell back on the kitchen table chair and split her chin open. It was interesting how quickly I forgot about how sick I was when I saw the blood gushing. The cut was very wide and sort of deep- little balls of fat were coming out of the wound. My little baby girl was so strong despite the tears...

Rushing to the Kids Care clinic, I decided to drop off Julia at the neighbors. Then the still small voice whispered to me, "take Julia to the doctor's too" I didn't want to haul them both with me- DRAMA, especially with Kenzie's condition.

Julia has had a cough and runny nose for about a month. I keep waiting for it to go away. It has never went away.



So with two co-pays I enter the doctor's office in hopes to find some relief for my girls and my life.

Kenzie got glued up after some series of painful washings and Julia has bronchitis and a double ear infection! What? You would think Julia would be a horrible nightmare- but nope...tough girl. Oh how I love my girls. They need me so much and it is wonderful...most of the time. I loved being there for them yesterday.



Although I don't really like anti-biotics, I do right now. Because I can't handle much of anything right now in my life and I am looking for any and all "cure-all's"

Have you seen the movie "Click"? Ok, not the most appropriate movie, but I wish I could have a remote control that could fast forward my life into the second trimester...

I am so thankful for my wonderful pediatrician. I love this genuine lady.

Although I am opposed to government run/public option health care, I still wish that insurance and medical costs could be affordable enough for every Mom to bring in their sick babies to the doctors. Everyone deserves that. But even with super good insurance, our little doctor visit yesterday will still not end up being cheap. 20%and co-pays add up! what to do what to do...

as of lately

look how excited and competitive they all are

but eventually only one takes all...

you lucky thing.



I'm due in July.

Yes I am only a month pregnant- but I have never understood the big secret.

So I could miscarry- been through that- it was those who knew all along that were able to help me the best...plus I can't keep it a secret anyway with me being green in the face all day.

my life is a living hell probably 75% of the day...my first trimesters are something else I tell you. I swear all women go to heaven every time I run to the toilet. Bearing children is quite the sacrifice isn't it? I am so tired. I don't even have the energy to wash my face most nights. It is a lonely time too. Frustrating to be a mom...having no patience...wanting relief...wishing I could control some aspect of my life...but it is basically all out of control...if I throw up only twice in a day I convince myself I am feeling better.

Last night I threw up my turkey dinner all over Chay's shoes. Sorry about the visual.

...miss my mom like crazy. She would be down here with me in heartbeat. She would cook and clean and play with my girls. She would stay as long as I needed her. Oh how I miss that Lady. Life can be so unfair.

and don't get me started on the girls who don't get morning sickness...I want to just yell at them and tell them all to go to...LOL. Ok. so I am a little jealous...

I am excited still despite how I feel. A little overwhelmed and scared but excited. I know I am doing Heavenly Father's will...I know there are still more spirits to come down and be in our family. I look forward to the day when I don't have that feeling anymore :)

so here's to sleepless nights and big thighs...

pregnant with #3- can't wait to hold you my little one...

you are what you read

I have been asked by at least 2 people to somehow share the list of blogs I read.

So I guess I will share with you my most favorite blogs. Friends and Family blogs are by far my favorite- I love to read what people are doing with their lives...but besides friends and families- I have a few blogs that I look forward to reading or looking at every day.

ok the first one is Life in The Fun Lane oh my gosh I LOVE THIS lady's HOUSE. It is a "white house" which is my number #1 ideal style of decorating...but I just can't ever imagine pulling it off like this girl can. maybe someday... Scroll down and look...her nursery is DREAMY.

She also has her own business of finding old furniture and painting it white. Here is her website. white berry reinvented
amazing

I also have a vintage love inside me Mint and this one is good too Down and Out Chic and this one is fun to look at Eddie Ross and this one is good too
Viva Full House

Vintage clothes with modern twist:

Grosgrain
Shabby Apple I want almost every dress here...but I already know they are too short.

Oh so Beautiful Paper is a favorite...because I love stationary and paper.

home decor stuff

beware* don't subscribe unless you are ready for 20-30 posts a day. I love this blog...I just love to see all types of styles home sweet home

Pondering Principles is my favorite conservative blog...because he just shows funny cartoons and doesn't go off writing forever about politics. He is to the point and in my opinion "dead on".

Do it yourself and craft blogs. Some of these are hit and miss- but I have learned A LOT from these blogs and now have a bunch of ideas floating around in my head that I will probably never do. But it is fun to dream right?

Crafty fun stuff:
Centsational Girl
Crafty Nest
homemade by Jill
purlbee
zakkalife
This one is a favorite Mod Podge Rocks
Creative Crate
DIY showoff

ok I am done. There are probably more on my reader list but I am too tired. I didn't share most of my funny blogs or interesting blogs that would probably bore most... Going to bed. Hopefully you will find some fun ideas.

What blogs do you read????

thanksgiving thankful re-cap

I am grateful for plug-in outlets...because my 1949 home doesn't have any! We have extension cords going everywhere.

I am thankful for Kenzie's prayers "love for Mom, love for toys, love for Julia, love for Gage, love for food, love for primary" -so cute

I am thankful for my rice cooker.

I am thankful for Savers Thrift Store. Love that store

I am thankful for Costco. Again, love that store.

I am thankful for my calling because it makes me cry in despair every week. Humbling to the max. I just want to run and hide when I have to teach...why can't I just be the activities coordinator or the music coordinator or the ward canning specialist???

I am thankful for my siblings. Such great normal fun people. so so lucky to have an awesome family.

I am thankful for calculators, on-line bill pay, e-mail, and Google.

Thanksgiving day I get a call from a family member who will be feeding us dinner. She is complaining because she just got the turkey and it was going to take another 8hours before the Turkey will be finished. I kindly suggested the fast and moist way my mom used to cook the turkey- her response, "oh I would never ruin a turkey like that. That is an awful way to cook a turkey- it would dry it right up- turn it harder than a rock." oh. ok. That's weird because my Mom's turkey was perfect every year.... missing my mom like crazy, tears in my eyes...man I am thankful for humble kind people...and don't mess with my mom's turkeys right now, I'm sensitive.

I am thankful for sunshine

I am thankful for friends who stay true no matter what. They even like me when I can be difficult.

Thankful for the temple.

I am thankful for truth.

Thankful for the scriptures.

I am thankful the family we ate Thanksgiving dinner with started dinner without us and was almost finished when we walked in the door. I was still holding my warm green bean casserole. I was starting to get emotional...but it got worse when no one wanted my green bean casserole...and then it got even more worse when someone took more than 3/4 of my casserole and put it in a tupperware and put it in the fridge and sent me home with an empty dish. I am thankful because never in a million years would I ever do that.

Thankful for Chay's back rub this morning.

Thankful for freedom of speech.

I am thankful for Kenzie's way of articulating her thoughts. "Mom, we are sick. We have a sick bug inside us. But not a Box Elder bug." -so adorable. (Box Elder bugs are a very popular bug down here- invade the house when warm weather comes after it being cold for awhile)

Thankful for Christmas music.

Thankful for hoodies and wool socks.

Thankful I have a jeep and not a handcart.

Thankful for Red Box.

Thankful for middle of the night priesthood blessings.

Thankful for SD cards and digital cameras.

Thankful for Chay's sense of humor.

Around the table on Thanksgiving, the heated topic of Health care reform popped up somehow. It was not me this time. I was not in the mood and plus it was Thanksgiving? Do we really have to bring this up? Plus everyone in the room already knows my "controversial" stand on this issue...so finally a lady in the family said, "Nursing homes are full of elderly who just lay there all day...and especially those who deal with dementia- they lay there like a vegetable and yet our tax dollars pay $6000 a month to take care of them?" I then asked her what she suggested the government should do with these patients if they end up running health care. "They need to be euthanized. It would solve a lot of problems." Happy Thanksgiving to you too. I am thankful for those sweet visits I had with my grandma when she was sick with dementia. I am thankful that I value life. I am thankful God is the One who has laid the foundation for my reasonings.

Thankful for Julia's love for sleep.

Thankful I am a Mormon.

Thankful for water heaters.

I am thankful to be a Tomblin.

I am thankful Mom had cancer, so I can be motivated to be healthier.

I am thankful for Kenzie's reminder yesterday, "Thanksgiving is over, so is tomorrow Christmas-giving?

A lot to be grateful for...there always is.

not your mamma's green bean casserole

ok so I have never understood the Green Bean Casserole...



I think I had heard about it before I moved down south to Southern Idaho and Utah... and I think Calie (Keith's wife) found a recipe for it once and made the casserole when I was like 18 or something...I remember it was a new experiment for all of us- like eating foreign food for the first time...

but when I finally became a permanent resident of the Wasatch Front and a permanent member of Chay's family, I soon learned the importance of the Green Bean Casserole. This dish is um...well...let's just say you can't have holiday dinners without it. -Not necessarily sacred, but almost equally as important as the Turkey at Thanksgiving...it's a big deal. Ok maybe not as important as the turkey...but probably the mashed potatoes. If a holiday dinner didn't happen to have it (which it never would), someone would most definitely say, "where's the Green Bean Casserole?"

Maybe it's like me and cranberry sauce...In my world, turkey dinners always have to have cranberry sauce...and one time it was missing at Chay's house for Thanksgiving and I said out loud, "Where's the cranberry sauce?" I learned quickly cranberry sauce wasn't as important as I thought it was! But it's so delicious...oh my- especially on turkey sandwiches the next day with miracle whip....

back to the Green Bean Casserole...It is so weird with its string beans, fried french onion things, and cream of mushroom soup concoction. I was never exactly too sure what was so fascinating about this dish...and where was the flavor? It was like a heap of mushy mush...but since I will eat almost anything, I will keep eating and eating it thinking it will eventually get better...and it never does. So confusing why everyone eats it every year. Is it really that good to other people? Or is it just that whole tradition thing?

Well then it happened, I was asked by my dear Mother in Law to make it for the family Thanksgiving dinner last year. I freaked out. I can't claim Green Bean Casserole as my contribution to Thanksgiving Dinner. That is like buying your best friend a gift on clearance only because it was cheap and not because it was meaningful... Or wearing jeans and flip flops to church...can't do it.

So I desperately called Emily. And she saved me- she always does... She had a Green Bean Casserole Recipe believe it or not- with no cream of mushroom soup anywhere to be found. This is the Green Bean Casserole taken to a whole new level...and last night Emily and I decided to re-name it "Not Your Mamma's Green Bean Casserole"

anyway- so this recipe is amazing- to die for!!!! Very good, full of flavor, full of fat, full of love.

Not Your Mamma's Green Bean Casserole

5 cans Fancy cut/ French cut beans
8oz cream cheese
8oz sour cream
1 Pkg Uncle Dans Southern Ranch mix
1 lb shredded Swiss cheese
corn flakes

Mix 5 cans green beans (drained) with ranch mix, sour cream, cream cheese, and half of shredded cheese until smooth. Spread in glass 9X13 baking pan, top with rest of shredded cheese, and then top with crushed corn flakes.

I put the cream cheese, sour cream, ranch pack, half swiss cheese in blender first and then poured and mixed into the green beans. A lot easier to work with!

Bake 350 until bubbly and corn flakes start to brown. (Approximately 30-40 min.)

I am posting this so maybe it's not too late to revolutionize your Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow night!!!

6 years

pictures again done by Mrs. Janna Beecher herself.



Today 6 years ago on a very very cold day, I married Chay.

Can you believe it?

Chay. Chay. Chay. What a cool name my husband has.

Chay and I are too much alike in some areas...and so it can be detrimental sometimes...and yet very very fun. Best Friend fun.

We are both a little too carefree or scatter-brained about certain things...which isn't always the best...but we are so great together despite our little la la land moments...We are a cute couple I think.

I am the youngest of my siblings and Chay is the 6th of 8...so before marriage we only had ourselves to worry about pretty much...which makes us now deal with "what about me?" a lot. We are working on it. In hindsight, I love working on it with Chay. I want to work out all life's problems with Chay.



I can't believe I landed him.

I always know at the end of the day when we are laying in bed together talking in the dark, that the person next to me is exactly who I was supposed to marry. And it makes me giddy just thinking about it...



I really really like Chay. I love how easy he is to read...his sense of humor...his obedience...his commitment to his family- His loyalty- his smile.

I didn't see much of Chay this week. He had a big final to study for and so he would come home and eat and then off to the library...wow that was hard for us...I'm a wimp. I like Chay around as much as possible.



Love you Chay...so so much.

what are you thankful for?

this has put me in the Thanksgiving mood more than anything...love it!

the julia invite

The photography seen on this post is done by the lovely Janna Beecher. She is my forever friend who also happens to be an amazing photographer.

so I am noticing on a lot of blogs people are writing what they are grateful for this month...don't you love Thanksgiving...so...

I am grateful to be this little girl's mommy...



because she is doing weird things to my normal life...she is stretching me and inviting me to change...when I don't want to. I have been thinking a lot about this girl. She knows exactly how to pull at my weak points and she won't let me get away with anything! If I am on the phone or the computer she will do everything rebellious imaginable. She is my mortal guardian angel who is annoyingly trying to protect me from messing up motherhood and to change so that her life and mine can be more directed toward Christ. I know if I take the Julia invite, I could be such a better person. Julia who are you??? Sometimes I don't want to change. Why can't you just sit and play and obey everything I say??? Why do you throw fits like me? Why do you demand attention like me? Why do you whine and pout about every little thing...like me?

Kenzie kind of floats around like a pure bliss child, helping me clean and singing primary songs. Julia will look at me right in the eyes and spill her milk all over the counter on purpose. After telling her 100 times she is not allowed to play with my make-up, she will go into my room and throw it all over the floor. She spends a lot of time in "time-out" I have resorted to spanking but that is always a bad choice because she will swing right back at me-smacking me in the face out of anger.

Morning times are always interesting. NEVER wake up Julia before she wants to get wake up...because if you do, she will thrash her body against the crib and scream for 20 minutes. If you leave her alone she will get even more mad. If you try to comfort her, again, she will get just as mad. After the tantrum is over...she is actually up for a hug and a kiss- but she just needs that 20 minutes of "why in the heck did you wake me up?" moment before she can handle the day. Is she my daughter??? Oh yes, in every way she is mine.



Don't get me wrong- her lows are equated with beautiful kind cute highs. Julia is very sensitive to others and their feelings. She always gives Kenzie a hug when Kenzie is sad or hurt. She will even cry when Kenzie cries because she wants everyone to be "ok". She is also fun and super playful. I can't wait to see what entertainment she will bring us each day.

In fact she is a puppy. Yes, a puppy. Mostly throughout the day she will bark and pant like a dog on all fours. The other day at the library, Julia walked and barked on all fours down the long corridor entry way of the library. People stared...but what can you do? She wants to be a puppy.



Despite some of the frustrations I feel, I have felt deeply inspired that Julia is here for me. She is here to teach me so much about real love, real heart felt motivation, real letting go of the natural man...

and it is not going to be fun all the time- mostly challenging...because there can't be a moment of complacency with her. It's either a 100% tuned-in mom or its a disaster of a day.

I feel impressed, for Julia's sake, to never skip a beat of daily family scripture study and prayer- to never pass up Family Home Evening for something else of less importance.

and that is going to be hard because I am not perfect in these areas...but I feel like we have a bold yet fragile spirit on our hands whose strength needs to be used for the good...

Oh Julia...I love you so much. I just do. You are taking my heart to new levels and I am willing to deal with it because I am your mommy and Heavenly Father trusted me with you. Just remember please remember when I fail you at times, your Heavenly Father never will.



You are one remarkable special little girl.

It is morning and you are still sleeping. I will not wake you up, but I can't wait for your morning hugs.

go albert

outside play

bubbles...a dollar miracle.






wow what happened to the garden???


I am Gage.

allo een

so I got a random card from Joette on Halloween. It was perfect.



opens up to:



many of the reasons why I miss Joette...



so Halloween....hmmmm.



Some things I have learned about Halloween...

I think I have decided on my most favorite candy bars. It takes me a while to make decisions...but I think these are final decisions in my life:




and of course



I try to limit sugar from my diet...ahem...but um...not this last week...

now my entire body is achy- swollen fingers, my joints are stiff...water retention- depressed...weight gain...I feel like I am 80 when I get out of bed...oh the joys of MS.

So Mounds, Almond joy, Nut roll, and mint chocolate wonders...you are proof that all that appears lovely isn't so...and self discipline is more of an act of compassion than control.

So anyways...The girls were fairies for halloween. Although no one could really understand that..."Oh look two precious Angels!" or "Oh the cutest little princesses ever!"

Kenzie's rude reply "NO, WE ARE NOT ANGELS, I'M A FAIRY!"





My dear aunt Linda offered to sew their costumes this year. At first I kind of wanted to attempt sewing my girls costumes because that is what a super mommy does...but once I agreed to have my aunt make costumes for them, it really felt nice. I love family...I love family who have time for each other.

This picture makes me laugh...because it was FREEZING at the trunk and treat...and where Kenzie finally said, "I don't need candy. I just need a coat" ...and is Julia flipping some gangster peace sign?



so there was our adventurous halloween...so glad it is OVER. Fun fun...but you know...weird.

I loved Trick or Treating though because Julia would scream and yell at all the old people who came to the door to give her candy...she was afraid of them...oh it was sort of entertaining- probably not for the old people.

our costume...US. Chay and April...oh with a wig. We had fun with this wig...

Love you Chay.