operation home cont.

bunk beds.

With baby #3 coming...and with a little house, it was bunk bed time. Changing the bed situation around here was inevitable.

When the bedrooms in your home are relatively SMALL- your kid's beds have to go up. Chay and I even entertained with the idea of having bunk beds. "Think of all the extra space we would have in our room without this queen bed..."

It was a short-lived idea.

anyway so I found this bunk bed at a yard sale for $15.



old and very used...but with potential

sanded a little, primed, and painted...



I really love how the beds turned out. Perfect for the girls.

We also painted the room, hung new chair rail and crown molding- I'll post pictures of the room later...

The excitement of bunk beds has been interesting. My girls for the first 3 weeks of "bunk bedding" acted like they were on cocaine at bedtime. They laughed and giggled for hours. I mean hours. They wouldn't fall asleep until 11 o'clock some nights. They would see each other through the cracks and start laughing uncontrollably. Kenzie would peek down at Julia and again...out of control excitement. Who needs theme parks or McDonald's playland??? They are finally calming down...but wow- childhood. Great isn't it?

Ju Ju is a bunk bed pro. No problems whatsoever with the change from crib to bed. She did however sneak out of her bedroom once to get a toy out of the living room. Chay and I were watching a moving in the basement and we thought someone was breaking into our house...but no it was just Julia getting her butterfly wings by the piano...it was pitch black upstairs and all we could hear were little feet on the wood floors running as fast as they could go back to the bedroom and jumping in bed. So cute.

memorial day

the scouts put a flag in our front yard today...

In 2003 I went to Arlington Cemetery.

Alone.

Mom was in the hospital...of course.

There is a very special feeling at that place. So quiet and reverent. I understood more clearly what freedom meant as I walked passed all those hundreds of hundreds of graves. I remember my heart feeling very full and feeling grateful for all those who believed in this great country ...enough to die for it.

It was a very spiritual experience for me.

If you ever go to Washington D.C.- you have to make it to Arlington- far better than the lame White House.

operation home

This dresser was free.



It was on the lawn across the street with a "free" sign.



I love "free" signs.



When Chay and I moved into our home we were without a dresser- so the free dresser, ugly, but free dresser came in handy for the first 3 years we have lived here. It was beaten up pretty bad...

but friends like Tiffani and Janna seemed to like the dresser when they saw it- that confused me because it was so "motel" to me.- you know modern 70's.

But straight lines have grown on me. Tiffani suggested I paint the dresser. I just wanted to get rid of it. But Since I already had all the primer and paint to paint it- I kept it. The hardware was about $16 dollars. Turned out lovely I think. Obviously not a perfect paint job- but we are learning. It's at least nice to practice on free furniture, right?.



We put it downstairs in the guest/baby room...which is still in the works...



I got the mirror at a thrift store for $10. It was hanging in our bathroom downstairs for a year or so. It's a rather large mirror and I hung it over the toilet...the wrong way- vertically not horizontal...um...let's just say Chay didn't like using that bathroom very much- he wasn't used to watching himself pee...I personally thought it was hilarious. Chay gladly took the mirror down from above the toilet and spray painted it white for me- and hung it up over the dresser...on Mother's day in fact. That was thoughtful of him.

baby blanket

I finally finished sewing a baby blanket I started like 6 months ago.

A while back I came to the realization that I really didn't have anything for a baby "boy". So I ventured off to make a warm flannel batted blanket- thinking I could just throw it together. Well since I don't have any natural sewing skills, a loving grandma around, or a mommy for that matter, I resorted to YouTube to teach me. Bad idea.

I am convinced that learning to quilt and sew needs to be a woman to woman "time-together" event- YouTube wasn't all that satisfying or memorable.

The blanket I made almost brought tears during the process because I was messing up so bad on it- but by the end I was laughing so hard at all the mistakes and so I eventually surrendered to the flaws and simply said, "this stupid blanket is at least made with love, not perfection, but with love...and some freezing child in Russia would love this thing because it is heavy and warm." Plus Chay said it was an "awesome" blanket.

I'll take awesome.

binky

Julia has been binky-free for 24 hours now. holy smokes is this really happening????

Ju-ju is addicted to the binky like I am addicted to sugar. Both have to go.

You see, the binky fairy was supposed to come and take it away like 2 months ago but I didn't have the stamina, heart, will-power, the courage to take it away. It was on my "to-do" list but I just sort of freaked out just thinking about not sleeping through the night again before the baby even comes...and I wasn't sure how my little Ju-ju would do without her number one source of security. But together Julia and I have had several conversations about "saying goodbye" to the binky. She knew it was coming. I even made up a song about a binky that went bye bye...

it goes like this:

"there once was a binky that said bye bye
it made ju ju sad, it made her cry
but Mommy gave lots of love
and the binki fairy left a surprise
and everything's alright...everything's alright"

I know pathetic, but in the eyes of a 2 year old- it helped a lot.

Well Julia chewed a huge hole in her last binky yesterday. It was julia who said it was "broken" and that she didn't need a Binky anymore.

"What?"

She didn't nap yesterday but fell right to sleep at bedtime at 6:45.
She didn't nap again today crying "I can't sleep...I want my binky" but at 7 tonight she was fast asleep- without one whimper of needing her binky.

I have noticed she is a lot more cuddly now and wants to be held...which is fine with me. It is hard to pass up a snuggle from a 2 year old anyway.

Oh isn't it crazy that something so silly like a pacifier can result in being a life crisis to a toddler...and to a mother???

becoming what you believe

Here is a nice quote of hope:

"Man often becomes what he believes himself to be. If I keep on saying to myself that I cannot do a certain thing, it is possible that I may end by really becoming incapable of doing it. On the contrary, if I shall have the belief that I can do it. I shall surely acquire the capacity to do it, even if I may not have it at the beginning." ~Mahatma Gandhi

healing segment- sugar

Please read:

Researchers at Princeton University report that sugar-loving mice demonstrate all three criteria of addiction: increased intake, withdrawal, and cravings that lead to relapse. Previous work has shown that mice deprived of food for several hours and then allowed to binge on sugar water (with concentrations similar to that of soft drinks) soon developed addictive behaviors. Sugar intake causes the release of dopamine in the brain, a reward chemical. After a month of sugar binging and increased dopamine levels, the rats' brains developed fewer dopamine receptors and more opioid receptors--changes similar to those observed in mice on cocaine and heroine. When their sugar supply was suddenly cut off, the mice exhibited signs of withdrawal, including teeth-chattering, anxiety, and refusing to leaving their tunnels. The latest research showed that when these mice were offered sugar once again, they worked harder to attain it and consumed more than ever. (Discover magazine, December 2008)

wow isn't that interesting?

oh my, am I like these mice???, except I refuse to leave my tunnel when I eat sugar more so than when I go without for awhile...not so much teeth chattering, but I do feel anxious. I feel the most depressed and irritable when I am consuming sugar. I hurt the worse the next morning after having too much sugar the night before.- and yet I keep returning to sugar for that little "lift me up" to get through the day- Like one vicious cycle.

sugar sugar sugar...just you wait- you are going DOWN!

sleeping children

What is it with children when they sleep? They suddenly turn into these magical perfect little angels sent from heaven who could do no wrong.

I mean let's be honest all parents love it when their child is asleep for the night. I don't know what it is- instant relief? peace, quiet...all of the above?

I know that at least with me when the kids are asleep I am rest assured that I can't do anything wrong for the next 10 hours or so that will catch me in a bad mommy moment- they are ASLEEP, they are in a different world, they are doing exactly what they should be doing- I have no reason to yell, ignore, complain, or gripe at them.



But funny enough- when they ARE finally sound asleep, I can't seem to leave them alone. One of my favorite things to do is to go into the girl's room every hour or so and watch them and rub their soft cheeks. I usually pray for them during this time.



My girls look so dang innocent when they're asleep. Their skin is flushed- long eyelashes- perfect lips. Heaven feels so close. I swear every mom and dad recommits to being a better parent when they watch their children sleep. It's like something slaps you over the head "Look how incredibly special they are!"

ursula

As I was getting out of the shower I noticed Kenzie and Julia were waiting by the bathroom door, wanting to take a bath. They beg to take baths every day. I hope that lasts into the adolescent years. Well the bathing part...not necessarily bathing together...that would be weird.

Anyway, I noticed Kenzie staring at my big pregnant body. She then kindly said to me, "Mom, you look like Ursula...on the the Little Mermaid."



oh could I hear anything more uplifting...at such a big and awkward time in my life?

It gets worse...

Kenzie then continued to say, "like when Ursula shakes her boobs and says "body language!!!!"

"what on earth?"

The clip from the movie instantly came to my mind. Obese Ursula singing "Poor Unfortunate Souls" Her words, "You'll have your looks, your pretty face, and never underestimate the power of BODY LANGUAGE!" And then Ursula goes about to turn around and shake her overly enormous booty for us all to enjoy. Earlier in the song she flatters us with jiggling her breasts center screen until all we see is her cleavage.

ok Disney, seriously?

I will admit that Ursula is one of my most favorite Disney characters. She is so fun to quote on a normal basis- but not so fun when I actually look like her- in the eyes of a 4 year old anyway.

For those who don't see me often and wonder how "cute" I look at almost 8 months pregnant- here is a video to give you a heads up of what you're not missing.

april unplugged- beware

I wish I had more of a back bone...Although I tend to have a strong opinion about things- I'm really a softy when it comes right down to it. I might harp and complain about being mistreated- but those who know me well enough- know to read right through it and rarely take my feelings all too seriously.

I'm more mad at myself than anyone for being this way.

I have a hard time deciding what's most important in my life. Well obviously God is...but I guess trying to figure out what He knows is best for me is where I struggle.

I am learning that I can focus really well on one thing at a time...but 3 or 4 things? I'm a complete mess. I was a really good student at the end of my college career, because I only worried about myself and all other areas of my life beside school were always falling apart it seemed. But my last semester in college I landed a 4.0, aced my finals despite early labor pains, and welcomed Kenzie into the world the very next day.

I think the most sane part of my life was during my stay at the Missionary Training Center in Sao Paulo, Brazil. For the first time in my life, every minute of my day was planned for me. I knew when I was going to study, go to class, eat, sleep, even write in my journal-. Food was provided by the cafeteria so eating seconds was out of the question. Gym time was 3-4 times a week. I went to bed at 9:30 every night, I was studying the scriptures and having many spiritual experiences, I was with lovely people all day...I remember just feeling so whole and complete. I was doing what I was supposed to be doing, I was on a rigid schedule, and I was so so very content.

Sometimes I wish an angel would appear every morning and tell me exactly what to do each day.

I don't know how to budget very well and getting out of debt seems like the impossible dream. Eating healthy and getting my family on board...again the impossible feat. Being a proactive parent, finishing projects- each one of these things take ALL of me. I don't know how to divide up the day. I am a complete mess. And honestly, I am alone in all these efforts. So another thing on my to-do list: get family members to somehow feel the same way as I do about certain family goals.

If I just concentrate on one goal- the rest of my life would go to shambles. Yet when I concentrate on more than one goal...my life goes to shambles. And I get frustrated with myself and I just want a spoonful of marshmallow cream and hide under the covers all day.

I try to figure out what is most important....most days I swear it is health...but then when it's time to buy groceries or pay for my gym membership I start to think that getting out of debt is more important...or when I drop my girls off at the gym daycare and they scream bloody murder I start to think that I need to spend more quality time with my kids. I hear those words of guilt, "They are only young once" I walk into the house and see it's a mess and how it needs new carpet and then I start to say that the home is the most important and that I need to focus on saving money to fix it up and follow a cleaning schedule...I can not function if there isn't any function. I go crazy. If the house is out of order, I am out of order- checked out in a flurry. I need a place for everything- and yet I am always dealing with piles and backed-up "to-do" lists and too much clutter.

going to the gym, eating healthy, budgeting, order in the home, being a good mom and wife- these things do not come easy for me- they're all so life consuming. I so wish that I was normally healthy and strong, mothering came easy with all the perfect words of kindness, that money wasn't always such an issue, organization was second nature- I wish I had these things already in tack so I could enjoy the better part of life- to just sit down and make something, go on a hike, call up a friend and hang out- without feeling overwhelmed about how I can't find anything, how tired I am, how slow I am at learning new things.

Every day I wake up feeling overly stressed about the day because every little task is so hard. Even getting out of bed puts me in a bad mood. I hurt everywhere in the morning.

Sometimes these frustrations get me really moody and I feel like I'm ready to explode. I feel I just give give give and fulfil everyone's needs but mine- and then I feel selfish for thinking so.

Sometimes I am sick of being the supportive one, the one willing to change, the patient one, the strong example, the motivator, the bill payer, the budgeter, the cook, the advisor, the house cleaner, the teacher...sometimes I just want to do things for just me...but I feel the load is too essential to give up and all will crumble if I become too lenient. But if I was to do something just for me, I already know I wouldn't be able to figure out what it is I need to do for myself! I know serving others is supposed to make me happy???? AHHHHH I feel like I do that all day! I know its a privilege to be a mother and wife, but I can't figure out the balance.

I think throwing off the guilt plague might help a lot. Anyone have a vaccine/remedy?

Growing up I didn't dream of that perfect wedding or holding children. I didn't care about making bread from scratch or sewing curtains. Now I think about these things...and unfortunately I'm a little behind. The desire is there but the skills are lacking.

It makes me sad. I feel trapped with my feelings. I am so tired. I know I'm not right physically. How can I handle everyday life if it's painful to walk and I'm exhausted.

I really wish I could go to a 2 week recapture health place...a place to detox, sleep, exercise...a place where kids aren't begging for toast and butter and peanut butter jelly sandwiches. A place where husbands don't eat pizza and oreos for dinner. A place of solitude and escape from every day life. I don't even want people I know to be at this place. A place where I wake up and no one needs me- no meals to cook, no groceries to buy, no books to check out or return, no story time, no night's sleep interupted, no paper route, no bills to pay, no lesson to teach, no laundry to fold, no time-outs or sending girls to the corner, no arguments, no whining, no tight uncomfortable clothes, no butts to wipe, no house to fix up, no calendar, no motorcycles, no sugar, no matching socks or missing shoes to find, no counters to wipe, no feelings of being used or taken advantage of, no worrying ...just for 2 weeks...maybe 3 weeks.

I think I need a break.

I think I just need to go to bed.

trusting trials

Many of you are inspired by Nie Nie's story. For those of you who aren't aware- Stephanie Nielson, a mother of 4, was in a plane wreck with her husband about 2 years ago. They both survived but most of Stephanie's body was burned in the wreck. Stephanie blogs about her experience.

I love this video. Heavenly Father really knows what he is doing with us...despite the trials that come our way, we are loved and watched over by Him. Some of our greatest trials will bring us closer to Him, if we but choose to allow Him to work miracles in our lives.

enjoy

happiness

Today 3 special people in my life are celebrating their birthdays- May 2nd- what a big day! Jaynee, Pat, and Stan. We are talking about 3 top of the list forever treasured friends. Happy Birthday you guys. I love you so much.


30 things that make me happy


1. My relationship with God
2. the smell of mod podge
3. touching my babies' skin
4. marmalade- my grandma loved marmalade jam also
5. zip lock bags and storage containers
6. my girls snacking on avocados and cucumbers
7. music
8. 70 degree sunshine weather
9. doing what I know I should be doing
10. Taking naps with Kenzie- I love to snuggle with that girl.
11. butter mints at weddings
12. finding a good deal
13. funniest home videos
14. when Chay gets home
15. feeling healthy, having energy
16. driving alone in Chay's car with music really loud
17. helping when I am really needed
18. nature, scenery, mountains, trails, trees, peace
19. putting on brand new socks
20. being with people I love and trust and knowing they feel the same about me
21. Malcolm in the Middle and Scrubs
22. older folks who are pure, wise, and make evident they have lived a good life
23. going to the temple
24. swinging
25. looking at house plans
26. Mormon Tabernacle Choir
27. garage sales and thrift stores
28. a clean functional house
29. remembering Mom's laugh...she had this contagious wheeze thing when she laughed.
30. reminiscing and re-telling college stories with Emily

joy

I met Joy today.

She was sitting at a table in Costco in the book section.

My reaction, "Oh my gosh are you really Joy?"
Her reaction, "yes I am sweetie."

I then went about to ask her about trimming my bushes, my apple trees, organic fertilizer, tulips...

I listen to "Joy in the Garden" whenever I can on Saturday mornings on talk radio. She has this perfect grandma voice and whatever she says about plants and gardens I unquestionably believe her. It's the grandma voice that is the most convincing.

Grandmas know flowers.

Anyway so I bought her book. It is a lovely book. I bought it because it's a Utah gardening book- which is a bonus because most places don't deal with our soil.

I read a lot of it last night and just dreamed of having that beautiful yard...but then quickly realized how much work a beautiful yard is...so dreaming about one is far easier and cheaper. I think I will just stick to dreaming about one for right now. I'm lucky enough to get the weeding done. Plus my girls picked half of my tulips before they even bloomed this spring.

But we have plenty of dandelions...the wonder of dandelions to little girls is always so fun...

I have little bouquets of dead dandelions all over my house "just for you Mom"

I wake up to dead dandelions. They were delicately placed on my nightstand by 4 year old hands. I can't seem to throw them away. Ironically the pile of weeds bring me much joy when I first wake up in the morning.

busy

We have been super busy. I am actually quite amazed at how much we are getting accomplished. I will have to tell all later.

I guess I will have to post pictures or something- I have never painted so much in so little time. I remember when I used to get nervous when it was time to paint something. I think those feelings are gone now. My sewing machine still makes me nervous and so does the miter saw- but I'm getting there slowly.

sounds of home

certain sounds remind me of home...home meaning where I grew up...childhood.

Just the other day I heard some sounds while working outside and all I could think of was home...and Mom.

Growing up we lived about 2 miles from a train track...not a real busy train track...but every now and then and especially at night you would hear the faint whistle blow in the distance. A memory in my mind is cool summer nights, being outside sitting on the front steps with Mom and hearing the train whistle behind our conversation.

Once Bryon, my brother, called home from his mission in Texas. Mom took the portable phone outside to talk to him. While Mom was talking to Bryon, the train whistled in the background. Bryon got a little choked up by the all too familiar sound of home.

We have a mini airport for little Cessna planes not even a half mile from my house. The landing strip is about 400 meters from my backyard. Some of our neighbors have their own hangar. From our back deck we can watch ever so often a plane take off or come in for a landing through the trees. I even witnessed a wreck once while jumping on the trampoline- a not so good landing, but fortunately everyone was ok.

The sound of those little planes flying in the air, their steady engines humming on a summer day give me the greatest sense of security. I don't know why- sounds of home I guess. I remember telling my mom once that whenever I hear a small plane flying I am reminded that time is passing quickly. Mom asked me where I came up with those thoughts and I had no clue...but probably because it has been a sound I have heard ever since I was a little girl and it takes me back to childhood and reminds me how quickly childhood comes and goes.

So even though I am far from home I am lucky enough to be in an area that has both planes flying around and train whistles...to remind me of home...remind me of Mom.

I am having a hard time being pregnant and being motherless. Wow what a lonely feeling it is at times. Mom and I were such good friends. I miss her friendship. I just want to call her and tell her how fat I feel, how inadequate I feel in my calling at church, how I'm messing up my girl's lives by being an out of control mother, how I can't wait to plant a garden, how I just painted the girls room a cool color, how tired I am, how I wish I had a close friend nearby...these are things only a mother has patience for...

I feel that my family has kind of lost touch with me because she is gone. I just read a line the other day from a magazine that said, "Once your Dad gets a new wife, he now has a new life, and you are no longer apart of it."

I realized it was MOM who held the family together. She was the compassionate one who put feelings in front of logic, who gathered the family together even when it seemed inconvenient, who stayed up late despite being overly tired to listen to her children talk about life...it was her who threw something together to eat so we could be together for dinner...it was her that cared about my children.

When Mom died I lost both parents...especially when Dad got married...to a woman who is perfect for him supposedly, but will never care about me or my children the same way Mom did. And that is hard. Not that I am expecting much from my Dad or his new wife but I just feel so cut off from the security and love I grew up with.

And there is nothing I can do about it...I know. So I can just sit here and miss Mom and that's about it. Crying always helps me feel better the next day anyway.

6 months pregnant

I have had 3 people so far ask me if I was due any day now.

Sadly, no.

3 more months to go and yes I'm concerned about my stomach being any much bigger than it already is. But that is inevitable...so I'm in trouble.

I am well aware that I am bigger than normal- but it wasn't so pleasant when my father in law saw me for the first time this pregnancy and said, "wow...I just met this petite girl who only gained 11 lbs her whole pregnancy" Not exactly what I wanted to hear...especially since I'm pretty sure I gained 11 lbs the first week I found out I was pregnant...

This is a time in my life where randomly seeing an old boyfriend from college at the mall would be most inappropriate. I would run and hide and tell Chay to call me by some other name like Rebecca or something.

so yes three months to go...I am doing all I can to get things done around the house before the whole world stops for a newborn. And trust me, my whole world stops.

Since most of you don't see me ever...here is a picture. I figure it better be a picture where I look somewhat better than I normally do...my usual attire is Chay's big T-shirts and Chay's basketball shorts. Sundays are always a good day for picture taking.

6 months and counting...

life's blessings

woke up this morning to a snow plow's light flashing across our room...(our room faces the street). I quickly looked outside and witnessed an April nightmare.





According to the news we got 7-10 inches of snow...how wonderful! I told Chay we just better conform and stop fighting the weather here and invest in some new snowboards...

This weekend was General Conference: POWERFUL!



The music was breathtaking. When the Tabernacle Choir sang "This is the Christ" a flood of emotions came over me and I told Chay "I wouldn't' be surprised if the angels sing this song when Christ comes again." I am so grateful for music. A lot of times people start talking or go to the bathroom when the choir sings during conference- NOT IN MY HOUSE! You have to be dead quiet. I feel the spirit the most when the choir sings.

I am so grateful for conference. I loved all the messages about strengthening the home. There were so many talks about how the family and home are under attack and how we can strengthen our families through the teachings of Jesus Christ. It was a wonderful way to celebrate Easter. 20 minute Easter Egg hunt and 4 hours of Conference...LOL...my poor girls- well at least they know what the priorities are around here. They got princess glass slippers...and their eggs were filled with quarters...so they couldn't be happier.

Had another ultra sound yesterday. BiG Boy coming our way. He has big lips like his daddy. I hope he looks just like Chay.

Oh what a neat experience to witness...ultra sounds are so amazing aren't they?

I had a dream about my baby last night. I don't remember much but I remember he being a really cute little boy...and that my labor with him only lasted 5 minutes before he was born. That is when I knew I was dreaming.

Life is good. Full of blessings.

the 4's

I have been tagged. Online terminology makes me laugh...

I have also received a couple circulating emails from friends about the 4's in their lives...so I think I will combine them all and answer them all here. I swear I have already done this before...

I had a hard time keeping my 4's to 4. Sometimes I just had to have 5,6, or 7.

ok...here we go...

4 shows I like to watch...

1. The office
2. HGTV- pretty much anything on that channel gets my wheels turning.
3. Glenn Beck- only sometimes...he can be a bit much at times.
4. My little secret- Re-runs of Desperate Housewives on Lifetime. That show makes folding the clothes very entertaining.

4 things I am passionate about...

1. personal truth and finding more and more of it
2. The miracle of The United States of America, the Founding Fathers-
3. Health, feeling amazing and finding truth in these areas
4. The Gospel of Jesus Christ, family, home, and relationships.

4 phrases I say a lot...

1. let's be soft girls
2. for crying out loud
3. Where is the sunshine????
4. Mommy loves you so much

4 of my favorite stuff...

1. My Dr. Denese's Dream Cream face moisturizer
2. My chacos
3. My blendtec blender
4. my water pillow. Everyone needs a water pillow.

4 things I have learned from the past...

1. My weaknesses can become my strengths
2. The body is a gift. Treat it like so.
3. My accomplishments don't win God's Love. He loves me no matter what!
4. Best friends made from teenage/college years are PRICELESS...no guilt, no facade, no shame, no backbiting, - just true loyal friendship.

4 places I want to go...

1. The Sacred Grove
2. Brazil- but this time in vacation mode and not missionary mode.
3. Serve a mission with Chay in Brazil...back to missionary mode.
4. Somewhere beautiful and foreign...not a beach...and not a cruise...but somewhere where we hike/walk a lot...and ride bikes...trees, lakes, rivers, sweat, maybe a service project with an orphanage or something...Machu Picchu would be so fun to see and hike.

4 things I would like to learn to do...

1. rock climb
2. kayak
3. wood working- build furniture
4. how to grow everything- landscaping and gardening

4 things I did yesterday...

1. Went to Good Earth Natural Foods
2. Filled up 7 gallons of "my" water at Macey's
3. Read several chapters of Exodus...kept thinking of the cartoon "Prince of Egypt"
4. Went to bed at 9! It was lovely.

4 things I am looking forward to...

1. Summer if there is such a thing in this dreadful place. No more snow! Do I live in Alaska? I swear the summers are longer there than here.
2. Having my house the way I want it- I know, I'm dreaming
3. Seeing my mom again someday. Oh I can't wait!
4. Having my sweet little baby boy...

4 things I am not looking forward to...

1. having my sweet little baby boy-(newborns are so wonderful but so hard, sleepless nights scare me.)
2. when the girls spend more time at school than at home.
3. whatever next congress will pass
4. summer ending...I know it hasn't even begun, but I miss it already.

4 things I love about Winter...

1. Utah's huge-in your face-gorgeous-snow capped mountains- BREATHTAKING!
2. wearing pea coats, hats, sweaters, and scarfs
3. Kid's excitement for Christmas
4. Christmas music

4 things I love about Summer...

1. watching the kids explore and play
2. mornings
3. watering the garden
4. swimming, walks, hikes, BBQ's, warm nights, camping, garage sales

4 things that bug me...

1. when Kenzie won't take NO for an answer
2. long lines
3. snow in April
4. negative people who make fun of everyone

4 things on my wish list...

1. a garage, yes a garage 16X20 to be exact
2. a SLR camera- nice one
3. a new kitchen
4. a guitar, piano lessons, to be strong and in amazing shape

4 things on my to-do list

1. paint my armoire- waiting for nice weather
2. paint bedroom downstairs
3. have the binki fairy come
5. paint and set up the bunk bed- waiting for nice weather

4 of my favorite foods

1. avocados
2. home-made salsa from the garden
3. pears
4. salad with all the fixings- sunflower seeds on top

4 things I do when bored

1. read blogs
2. play the piano
3. make the girl's laugh
4. call a friend

ok so what are your 4's? Your turn to blog about it now.

childhood books

Nothing like a book to satisfy my inner weakness:



When I would read this book growing up, I secretly wanted it to snow chunks of white wonder bread.

Years past and I forgot about the book but the wonder bread obsession stayed...I think the obsession is finally gone...but a storm of chocolate mint ice cream would be nice. But since I'm eating ultra healthy...I guess an asparagus hail storm would have to do...imagine an endless supply of asparagus on our front lawn...(that was for you Chay)

Years later I found the book "Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs" downstairs in my parent's house. Joette and I were reading it for the first time in probably 15-20 years. We laughed so hard.

Our conversation, "who let's children read these kind of books? Because of this book, we now subconsciously fantasize about the pancake mountain!" We then confronted Mom and tried blaming her for buying the book...We were kidding obviously...but seriously not a healthy book for someone with food obsessions...and I am steering clear from the movie.

And then we got to the famous Henry books by Robert Quakenbush. Joette and I decided on the same night to read some more books from our childhood that have caused us to deal with certain "issues" in our life. Oh it was so fun to pull these books out and read them out loud. Joette, mom and I were laughing so hard...who knew children's books could be so entertaining...and destructive.




Has anyone out there read these books??? Do they stress anyone out like they stress me out? Henry the Duck is a basket case with an obvious overly manipulative friend named Clara. I would say Henry has some sort of addictive obsession with pleasing Clara. Joette and I both agreed we have had to deal with a couple "Claras" in our life. I swear Robert Quackenbush had a serious case of OCD.

So I brought these books home with me and now they're in the bookcase. And yes I read them to my girls. And yes Kenzie gets overly worried about Henry not getting to Clara's birthday party on time.

What books did you read when you were little?

ffff continued

I know my last post had strong language and I'm sure I offended some or appeared ignorant to others.

I believe in the individual before the collective. Because what is a collective if each and every individual in the collective aren't given their agency? You have a pretty lame collective- a lame enough collective that they need a king to govern them...because as an individual they never learned to govern themselves. Collective is never first...the collective is a POWERFUL second...once the individual is allowed to grow and learn from liberty. The whole society flourishes because the individual had his/her personal liberty.

For those reasons I still believe health care is a privilege and not a right to the individual.

I have been denied coverage twice because I had a D&C operation and also for MS. It sucked and seemed a little unfair. But never once did I expect my health bills to paid for by someone else.

Now those who are dealing with things more life threatening- my heart goes out to them. I know many people are dealing with the loom of medical bills...and I know people are sick with an illness and can't find insurance. There are some major problems out there with the financial end of health care...the costs especially...everyone knows that...it is a tricky sad situation.

But the so called "answer to health care problems" the congress voted for on Sunday was NOT the solution. It is an unconstitutional bill, giving too much power to the executive branch- which was never intended and even warned against by the founding fathers.

It's a power grab bill not a health care bill. It is screwy and a complete mess. It was pushed through, it was lobbied, it was driven by special interests...maybe there were some great things passed in the bill...but at what cost are we willing to give it all away? It's the trade that scares me. It's the instant gratification- the quick fixes, the hand out of health care- for the trade of grievous consequences that will happen later on that scare me...

I'm not cold hearted and I don't want people with no health insurance to suffer- oh please. I cry at Liberty Mutual commercials remember? I just don't feel like this health care bill will help in the long run. It will slowly destroy and kill what makes America great. I see the bigger picture. Health care now and then what's next? The outcome...the long haul...the dependency it will cause, the free markets being attacked, big government, the constitution hanging by a thread- scary.

I believe that if God helped direct the writing of the Constitution, He could have also helped with a fair constitutional health care bill that would attack the real problems and not satisfy the want of power. But it almost seems that faith in God's help is out of the question these days- almost a thing of the past...like we have progressed too far to need God in our lives. Most politicians seem to only use God to get votes.

I know there was an executive order made to protect abortions from being funded by tax dollars- we will see how effective that is. Aborting a child is wrong enough, let alone having the government/people pay for it...oh boy watch out...God wouldn't let that go on for too long I'll tell you that.

Like I've said before, our biggest problem in this country is that we are becoming God-less. We are taking Him out of the equation. We are forgetting Him. We keep Him set aside for Sunday's only (if that)...and for that obligated prayer here and there that arises with tradition only. I don't think any civilization will survive long without God, not even capitalism will work if God isn't the moral foundation of men's decisions. Greed, power, dishonesty, deceit, and immorality are found wherever God isn't.

ffff

fight for freedom friday...on Monday.

"A Campaign Begins Today" by Mitt Romney

"America has just witnessed an unconscionable abuse of power. President Obama has betrayed his oath to the nation — rather than bringing us together, ushering in a new kind of politics, and rising above raw partisanship, he has succumbed to the lowest denominator of incumbent power: justifying the means by extolling the ends. He promised better; we deserved better.

He calls his accomplishment “historic” — in this he is correct, although not for the reason he intends. Rather, it is an historic usurpation of the legislative process — he unleashed the nuclear option, enlisted not a single Republican vote in either chamber, bribed reluctant members of his own party, paid-off his union backers, scapegoated insurers, and justified his act with patently fraudulent accounting. What Barack Obama has ushered into the American political landscape is not good for our country; in the words of an ancient maxim, “what starts twisted, ends twisted.”

His health-care bill is unhealthy for America. It raises taxes, slashes the more private side of Medicare, installs price controls, and puts a new federal bureaucracy in charge of health care. It will create a new entitlement even as the ones we already have are bankrupt. For these reasons and more, the act should be repealed. That campaign begins today."

— Mitt Romney is the former governor of Massachusetts and author of No Apology.

I don't know everything. I do not have all the answers.

Yet, I know the health care bill passed yesterday was unconstitutional.

No, Mrs. Pelosi health care is not a right. It is a privilege.

We were born with certain rights like liberty, not free health insurance, not a free house nor any kind of hand-out. When we honor our God-given inalienable rights, great privileges still may or may not occur. The pursuit of happiness...is a pursuit--not a handout. With liberty, life still is hard at times (imagine that?) and with liberty life can bring great rewards. Liberty allows each one of us to learn. Real learning- through failure and through success...which produce privileges...like a car, a comfortable retirement, health care, a decent safe home or whatever it is you feel is important to have...to some it means to travel or to own a 52 inch flat screen...we choose- health care is a choice.

Ok liberals, side note, but honestly, do you all really like Nancy Pelosi or do just some of you like her? Doesn't she give you the hibi-jibies whenever she talks? She is one disturbing eerie leery lady. She is not a feel good person.

Today on CNN the reporter was reading viewer emails regarding the newly passed health care bill. One viewer wrote in, "I am so happy this bill passed because I am poor and now the rich can pay for my health care."

This is a mess. The founding fathers are ROLLING over in their graves. They are up in heaven just disgusted right now--covering their eyes.

Hold on everybody...get prepared. The ride has only just begun. Listen to the counsel of the prophets and get out of debt, get your food storage, gather your family close, and stay close to the promptings of the Spirit- and as we try to cling to this foundation of principled living hopefully our children or our children's children will know how to handle the financial crisis the government of today has caused...

oh and please vote out all the crazies this November.

small choices

and how about those Liberty Mutual commercials????

These commercials have a powerful message...and for some odd reason they make hormonal pregnant ladies cry.

With all the cruddy icky that surrounds us, there is still so much good.

(you might have to let this buffer)


Smart marketing I'd say.

29

Poor Chay...sick with something funky. Fever, chills, nausea...

We cancelled all birthday plans so the guy can get better.

He is so quiet and relaxed when he is sick. Doesn't say much...just wants his head scratched.

Chay is 29 today.





Chay has the biggest heart.
He hates when people and family pre-judge him. It crushes his spirit.
He is SMART. Mechanics, electronics and carpentry stuff come very easy for him.
He is the perfect FRIEND. Kind to EVERYONE he meets.
He is not a communicator of words...yet he is very easy to read.
He likes to take baths...even in our bathtub which is about 3 feet too small for him.
He is healthy. (not this week but for the most part I am astounded with his energy)
He is tall. He is handsome. You should see him in a suit.
He is a hard worker.
He doesn't ever put his shoes away...and he HATES doing the dishes with a PASSION.
He makes everyone feel comfortable.
Chay is funny. Chay has the best laugh...the most contagious smile.
He cares about people and gets mad when they make silly mistakes.
Chay loves talking 4wheeler-motorcycles-anything-with-an-engine with his brothers.
Chay is a people guy.
Chay is protective. Mr. Safety. Careful. Watchful.
Chay is a good Daddy. He is our prince in shining armour around here.
Chay loves God.
Chay is a fighter for his family and his relationships. He is not a quitter.
He is deeply committed.



Happy birthday Chay. love you.

healing segment

so about 2 weeks ago I burned my tongue really bad tasting a homemade minestrone soup I was making. It had more vegetables than normal and quinoa instead of pasta...but honestly it was gross...I messed up on the spices and I kept hoping it would taste like Olive Garden's.



Nope. Not even close. (anyone have a good minestrone soup recipe that I could alter?)

But it was the whole burning tongue thing that became such a burden...so munching on spinach leaves without taste buds didn't go over too well with me.



I couldn't taste much for 3 days and my tongue hurt so bad. Then Chay came home with a half gallon of ice cream and nothing sounded more lovely on my burnt tongue...and you know, it was lovely. I also made cookies and stopped drinking my supergreens for a couple days...On Sunday of last week I could tell I was feeling icky...fatigue, headaches, cloudy, weak, achy...and by Tuesday I came down with a horrible sore throat. Wednesday it moved to my chest...and ever since then I have had the worse chest cold. The coughing is out of control.

My body is sensitive. I KNOW the sugar and dairy jeopardized my immune system...I just know it. Plus I am pregnant...which never helps the immune system either.

Many of you disagree with me on the dairy thing. Trust me, I want to disagree too. I love dairy. Who doesn't love yogurt, cheese, and a big tall glass of milk with a peanut butter sandwich? But I also almost married the wrong guy once...loved him dearly...but oh so so wrong for me...it was NEVER meant to be.

I'm not 100% sure humans should be so dependent on the cow as much as they are...we can't live without the cow...have you ever noticed? moooo moooo and they're really dumb animals. Trust me I know- we raised cattle until I was 12. My dad knows how to talk to them. He knows how to call to them and they'll follow him. True farmer that man. But cows really are so stupid. They just stand out in a field all day looking around and eating. It convinces me on a very small level that their only purpose in life is to be eaten...mooo mooo



ok so now I am trying all I can to heal my cold fast. Back on track. Burnt tongue no more. Green drink several times a day. Herbal tea, colloidal silver, steam facials, blessings, prayer...I'm trying it all- I'm kind of forced to being pregnant since I can't take anything over the counter...I was dreaming of downing NyQuil the other night.

Does anyone out there have a perfect natural remedy for bad colds? Charity? Cami? You two come to mind. Please share. Charity, I remember you telling me about this grapefruit extract thing you would do????

I am starting to feel a little better...still a nasty cough...but hopes are high.

ok several questions have been asked about my weird way of eating...and it is weird...makes perfect sense to me, but weird...especially with our culture.

moooo mooooo

I will answer the questions when I have more time. Took too much time writing about stupid cows.

growing up

Yesterday Chay was out of town taking care of some family business...



and so that left pregnant me, who is a little under the weather may I add, and the girls to do the paper route. Let's just say I was NOT happy about it. But oh well...on we go right?

Of course I was driving the route and Kenzie persistently asked if she could help. Since the papers were being delivered dreadfully late, I got desperate at the end and took up Kenzie's offer. Little 4 year old Kenzie was running from house to house with rolled up newspapers in her hand. She would drop the papers off at a few doors and run back into the car. She would always buckle up again...only to take off her seat belt 2 minutes later. She was huffing and puffing and got the best exercise of her life. She was so proud of herself, as was I. While she is still willing, we will have to make her our little paper girl helper more often. It was so cute. Mckenzie...growing up.

My first attempt at cutting Mckenzie's hair:



I cut Kenzie's hair yesterday. It was a long and tangled mess. Kenzie kept asking for bangs...oh dear. I didn't want to fork out the money for a cut so I pretended I knew what I was doing. Not always a good idea.

I still need practice but it works for now. Ready for summer anyway. I cut off a good 6 inches. She looks so different to me- so grown up. And Ju Ju...oh dear...she refuses to grow up- wants to be a baby still...which we are carefully working on...but whether she likes it or not she is growing up too...she turned into a little girl over night. So precious. I secretly want her hair. I haven't seen anyone look so good with messy hair.

quotes I found today

“When we rejoice in great music and art, it is but the flexing of instincts learned in the previous life.” ~Elder Neal A. Maxwell

I swear I am reminded of a familiar heavenly place when I hear certain music.

Experienced it today.

Oh and I love this one too:

"It is much easier to believe in eternal progression than to practice daily improvement. Likewise, the need for humility is easy to assent to, but it is so difficult to receive corrective counsel humbly." ~ Elder Neal A. Maxwell

So so so true...easier to talk about the importance of being humble than actually being humble. What? You expect me to really change? Naa I'd rather just talk about it at church...or point out others who need to change than actually do it myself... far far easier.

Anyone stumble with this too at times???

Can you tell I love and miss Elder Neal A. Maxwell????

sunday nap

You'd think a book with a title like that- it would keep anyone awake to read it...

sorry Walter...my Ju Ju had a long day. She'll catch up on your stinky adventures when she wakes up.

snow and more snow

This is what we woke up to this morning...and it is still snowing and snowing...and I think I'm about to go crazy. I took this picture 1/2 hour ago. There is a couple more inches now. I think I've had enough. Where am I? What is this place? My sister told me yesterday that it has been 65 degrees all week up where I'm from- and that is 700 miles north from here! On days like these I irrationally start planning a way to get us to move home. I miss home. I miss Spring.

ok let's try to be grateful...the snow is sort of pretty...and the mountains here are absolutely breathtaking. I am thankful for the moisture...and to all those avid skiers and snowboarders who come from all over and jam up the airport from November to April- have at it. Welcome to Utah.

Cinderella

I can deal with Cinderella pretty well.

My girls are fascinated with her. For that very reason I refuse to buy any Disney movies. But Kenzie is smart...too smart...her wheels are always turning. One day she said, "YouTube will play Cinderella right?"

Yes, you can watch Cinderella on YouTube. In 9 minute segments.

What is it with little girls and princesses? Disney is a mastermind I swear.

Reasons why I can handle Cinderella pretty well:

My girls beg to help me clean the kitchen floor so they can sing "Sing Sweet Nightingale"



Cinderella is dressed pretty decent and modest I'd say.



Cinderella's stepmother reminds me of my piano teacher when I was 5...and also my mean 2nd grade teacher.



I am totally inspired by Cinderella's color choice of work clothes. Who doesn't love brown and blue together?



My girls know "Lucifer" means bad bad bad...and he's always out to get you.



I often get requests to sing "No matter how your heart is grieving, if you keep on believing, a dream that your wish will come true" I'd say those are pretty positive lyrics.



And when Cinderella Barbie loses a glass slipper somewhere in the big toy box, there is always an easy explanation to the girls why it must be missing. She is the only princess barbie allowed to be missing a shoe in this house.



so this is love...hmmmm hmmmm

trusting the Weaver's hand

It seems as I go through Mom's keepsakes, I discover she didn't collect much of anything unless it was super sentimental.

I am proud of you Mom for not being a pack rat of all those many church handouts and non meaningful Christmas/birthday cards. I would have never guessed- especially knowing what your craft room used to look like over the years :)

But I did stumble upon this poem in Mom's stuff- it must have spoken to Mom the same way it spoke to me. I can see why she decided to put it in her keepsake box...this quote made sense to her- she knew and trusted God was doing something great with her despite her many trials.

The Weaver

My life is but a weaving between my God and me,
I can not choose the colors He worketh steadily.

Ofttimes He weaveth sorrow, and I in foolish pride,
forget that He seeth the upper, and I the underside.

Not till the loam is silent and the shuttles cease to fly,
shall God unroll the canvas and explain the reason why.

The dark threads are as needful in the Weaver's skillful hand,
as the threads of gold and silver in the pattern He has planned.

~Al Bryant



Thank you for keeping this Mom so I could find it today. Who knew you would still be influencing our lives the way you are from the other side.